Beautiful People Have It Hard

I'll suspend reality for once and write this post as an independent observer. It will be hard to ignore the many, many first-hand experiences similar to this one that I've had, but I will try my best. Just the objective observer serving the public good.

I was in line for the always thorough and competent airport security screening on Wednesday night. My dad and I were traveling on a red-eye to New Orleans which is always a good idea when you have a 102 degree fever. Fly... to a place with miserable weather... where you will consume near fatal amounts of alcohol... and fatty foods... with no sleep.

There was a beautiful woman in line just before. Probably dumb as bricks, you know how they are, but beautiful none the less. Oh, she's probably a whore, too. I don't know her well enough to know if she's an actual money-making whore, but let's hope so because as your grandma always' said, "Why pay for the milk when it doesn't mix well with anything but Kahlua!" You know your grandma was a drunk, right? Probably a whore, too! But I digress.

Pretty lady in line. She is then subjected to every breathing heterosexual man throwing himself on her. It was really sad. I was afraid that this is what our species has been reduced too, but then I remembered that if sperm isn't injected into fabulous women, then all the gays will be born to house-fraus.