The Spork!
I like to accuse my boss of being an out-of-touch, Westside liberal. I think she'd embrace it. As a matter of fact, last week I referred to Sandra Tsing Loh, my least favorite public radio personality, as "the typical Westside liberal mom-as-career**". Boss lady quickly chimed in with, "She's from the Valley." Note the disdain? There is nothing the Westside liberal hates more than the Valley liberal.
Boss lady brings in leftovers from parties -- parties she'd never invite the staff to -- and offers it up to the starving, huddled masses of the office. And in her emails announcing her great contribution of 2 day-old sandwiches with wilted lettus and stale cookies, she has to throw in, "help yourself to leftovers from my catered party the other night." As a friend noted once, "Thank god. I only eat nasty leftovers from a catered event."
Today, she walked into my office, eating utensil in hand and looked confused. Holding the molded form of plastic to the light she asked, "What is this?"
It's a spork you elitist idiot. In her 50+ years on the planet she's never seen a spork... until today. Clearly she's never ordered Kentucky Fried Chicken. She -- or her spawn -- has never eaten in a school cafeteria. (Spawn goes to a $20,000/year ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!) She's never been to a picnic that wasn't catered by Wolfgang Puck. Her only outdoor dining experiences are likley limited to a box at the Hollywood Bowl or on the sand at Shutters in Santa Monica.
How can you not know what a spork is? When I told her, she still didn't believe me. I went online and showed her www.spork.org. I think she'll forever be in disbelief.
**NOTE: "Mom-as-career" is in no way an assault on stay-at-home moms. They are two completely different breeds of moms. A stay-at-home mom is a mom that makes significant sacrifice in what she perceives as the best interest of her children. She gives up her career, her social circle and her high fashion to raise her children. The "Mom-as-Career" mom would print business cards if she could. She adds children to the mix the way some people seek promotions. Motherhood for her is not about family, or continuation of the species, but about her own personal "do-goodness". "Look at how wonderful I am, with my 2 perfect home-schooled children." Oh, and the Mom-as-Career monster is most recognizable but her army of nannies and caretakers.
1 comment:
Sandra Sing Low is the finest person on the airwaves. I don't know what the world would do without her, or Ryan Seacrest. Or Anna Nicole's reality show, for that matter.
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