Monday, May 29, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Bloggin BOR: Not in My Bedroom You Don't
Amendment 3: No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
In my re-reading of the Bill of Rights at had a 3rd Amendment epiphany. This one is like that 5th commandment, honor thy mother in father. Keep holy the Sabbath, Thou shalt not kill; these are easy to remember. But when asked about the 5th Commandment, you’re likely to make something up along the lines of, “Thou shalt not vote for more than one on American Idol in any given week.”
Maybe we are so removed from the days without multi-trillion dollar defense budgets, but the whole idea of soldiers sleeping in citizens’ homes seems so quaint. I imagine these days some military support organization sends soldiers into homes for fundraising or something. In these days of the Active Duty" porn site controversy, the concept gets completely redefined.
However quaint it seems today, I have a feeling 200-plus years ago this was probably one of the most important amendments. I mean, really, who wants a bunch of soldiers in your home, again, unless they are Paratroopers from ActiveDuty.com?
While it may seem like a relic today, my interest is piqued with this part, “but in a manner prescribed by law.” Really, doesn’t that make this whole amendment useless? Couldn’t Congress just pass a law saying, “during war, solidiers gotta sleep in Muffy’s bed, although the homeowner can restrict the use of said Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag.”
I’ve noticed that “prescribed by law” shows up a couple of time in the Constitution, especially when saying something is forbidden unless “prescribed by law.” Call me stupid here, but isn’t this document supposed to be law?
I’m starting to think this whole Bill of Rights was never meant to be read by normal, everyday citizen a la the Kaballah.
NOTE: Does it seem like I just used this post for a bunch of hot photos?
In my re-reading of the Bill of Rights at had a 3rd Amendment epiphany. This one is like that 5th commandment, honor thy mother in father. Keep holy the Sabbath, Thou shalt not kill; these are easy to remember. But when asked about the 5th Commandment, you’re likely to make something up along the lines of, “Thou shalt not vote for more than one on American Idol in any given week.”
Maybe we are so removed from the days without multi-trillion dollar defense budgets, but the whole idea of soldiers sleeping in citizens’ homes seems so quaint. I imagine these days some military support organization sends soldiers into homes for fundraising or something. In these days of the Active Duty" porn site controversy, the concept gets completely redefined.However quaint it seems today, I have a feeling 200-plus years ago this was probably one of the most important amendments. I mean, really, who wants a bunch of soldiers in your home, again, unless they are Paratroopers from ActiveDuty.com?
While it may seem like a relic today, my interest is piqued with this part, “but in a manner prescribed by law.” Really, doesn’t that make this whole amendment useless? Couldn’t Congress just pass a law saying, “during war, solidiers gotta sleep in Muffy’s bed, although the homeowner can restrict the use of said Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag.”
I’ve noticed that “prescribed by law” shows up a couple of time in the Constitution, especially when saying something is forbidden unless “prescribed by law.” Call me stupid here, but isn’t this document supposed to be law?
I’m starting to think this whole Bill of Rights was never meant to be read by normal, everyday citizen a la the Kaballah.
NOTE: Does it seem like I just used this post for a bunch of hot photos?
Foodie Quiz
Is the above meal:
a) the total consumption of the Indianapolis Colts prior to a training scrimmage?
b) the daily intake of the average thoroughbred prior to the upcoming Belmont Stakes?
c) an actual lunch-time menu offering at the MTA cafeteria?
Answer: C
This is the "Latin Chicken Platter" lunch special offered this week at the MTA cafeteria. Our tax dollars are supporting the health plan for these pigs!
I hope that my inside source won't get busted for this one because I'd hate for him to lose his job on my account but mostly because the only people that work less than non-profit employees are government employees and I need to have someone to dish with mid-day. Someone besides the anonymous readers of the blog.
TGIF: Get your Groove On
Underdog Lady Saves the Day on Jimmy Kimmel. Never underestimate the power of sensible shoes!
Friday Funny!
Take a few seconds to watch this. It's classic. Thanks Allen. And Moses!
10 Things I Hate About Commandments
Sit this one out. No choice for Insurance Commissioner.
There is only one “viable” Democrat running for Insurance Commissioner: Cruz Bustamante. I do not like Cruz. I think he did a horrible job during the recall. In his 8 years as Lt. Governor, I’ve never trusted him. Now he’s running for an office built by John Garamendi and rebuilt by John Garamendi. Unfortunately for California, John Garamendi is termed out and can not run for a third time to clean-up after the mess Cruz will make. The main reason I will not vote for Cruz Bustamante is because he is taking insurance industry money for his campaign. This is what got Chuck Quackenbush in trouble. John Garamendi always refused insurance industry money. There is no justifiable reason to accept contributions from the industry your office was created to regulate.
You're a loser Cruz Bustamante!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
The Bill of Rights is Packing Heat
For the second entry in this series, I decided to examine the second amendment. I know, it's a radical idea, but bear with me.
I believe that this is probably the least understood of the big ones -- you know speech, religion, and guns.
Amendment 2: A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
There are a number of important elements to examine here. First, the crappy English that confuses the hell out of a lot of people. Much like what you read here on this blog. For me, the worst part of the language is how easily it lends itself to cutting up the amendment and, say, excluding the first part.
This amendment addresses two issues not contained in the Constitution prior.
First, it acknowledge that the framers felt that a "well regulated" militia was necessary to push back against tyranny. A "well, huh?" you ask? Oh. Look at that. A well regulated militia. Hmmm. So the founders recognized that we -- the states -- needed to be able to protect ourselves from tyranny, but that to do so it must be in the confines of a regulated militia. So some wacko, say, hold up with his family on a mountain, say Ruby Ridge, doesn't get to -- on his own -- decide that he's gonna topple our* government.
The second part, Charlton Heston's favorite part, says that everyone gets a gun whenever they want one, whereever they want one, for whatever purpose they want. Which is fine and dandy, if you ignore that first part. And that what's Heston, the NRA, and David Koresh do (or did or Koresh's case). They ignored the first part.
(Those very same fucknuts pick and choice what they read from the Bible, so really, how should the Bill of Rights be any different.)
Those of us who are right on this issue rarely call for the total outlaw and banning of firearms. We ask for some controls, some regulations. You might say we seek a "well regulated militia" as deemed "necessary" in the "Bill of Rights." We want you to wait a few days. You know, in case maybe you are outraged about something that would cause you to act rashly. We want to make sure you've never been convicted of a violent crime. (In many places, convicted felons are stripped of their civil rights. If we won't let you vote, not letting you have a gun seems like a good idea, too.) Simple stuff really.
Unless you are the National Rifle Association. They would like fully automatic machine guns to be sold at the 7-11. Or at least they did before September 11th. Now, they'd probably prefer the guns be distributed at their Megachurches or Klan meeting. Did I say Klan meeting?
In my reading of the BOR, I learned something interesting. The amendment as I am most familiar with it ain't the one that passed in the House and Senate and was ratified in the states. The one I'm used to has some different puncutation. Here it is:
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
More confusing.
All in all, I have little problem with the concept of the right to bear arms. What I have concern about is how one defines the "tyranny" that one uses those arms against.
It would seem that "tyranny" for the gun nuts typically includes:
*Why do the most "patriotic", country loving folk find it so easy to seperate themselves from the republican (small R) form of government they have elected to represent them? We need more ownership. An ownership society. I think I heard President Bush say that somewhere.
I believe that this is probably the least understood of the big ones -- you know speech, religion, and guns.
Amendment 2: A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
There are a number of important elements to examine here. First, the crappy English that confuses the hell out of a lot of people. Much like what you read here on this blog. For me, the worst part of the language is how easily it lends itself to cutting up the amendment and, say, excluding the first part.
This amendment addresses two issues not contained in the Constitution prior.
First, it acknowledge that the framers felt that a "well regulated" militia was necessary to push back against tyranny. A "well, huh?" you ask? Oh. Look at that. A well regulated militia. Hmmm. So the founders recognized that we -- the states -- needed to be able to protect ourselves from tyranny, but that to do so it must be in the confines of a regulated militia. So some wacko, say, hold up with his family on a mountain, say Ruby Ridge, doesn't get to -- on his own -- decide that he's gonna topple our* government.The second part, Charlton Heston's favorite part, says that everyone gets a gun whenever they want one, whereever they want one, for whatever purpose they want. Which is fine and dandy, if you ignore that first part. And that what's Heston, the NRA, and David Koresh do (or did or Koresh's case). They ignored the first part.
(Those very same fucknuts pick and choice what they read from the Bible, so really, how should the Bill of Rights be any different.)
Those of us who are right on this issue rarely call for the total outlaw and banning of firearms. We ask for some controls, some regulations. You might say we seek a "well regulated militia" as deemed "necessary" in the "Bill of Rights." We want you to wait a few days. You know, in case maybe you are outraged about something that would cause you to act rashly. We want to make sure you've never been convicted of a violent crime. (In many places, convicted felons are stripped of their civil rights. If we won't let you vote, not letting you have a gun seems like a good idea, too.) Simple stuff really.
Unless you are the National Rifle Association. They would like fully automatic machine guns to be sold at the 7-11. Or at least they did before September 11th. Now, they'd probably prefer the guns be distributed at their Megachurches or Klan meeting. Did I say Klan meeting?
In my reading of the BOR, I learned something interesting. The amendment as I am most familiar with it ain't the one that passed in the House and Senate and was ratified in the states. The one I'm used to has some different puncutation. Here it is:
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
More confusing.
All in all, I have little problem with the concept of the right to bear arms. What I have concern about is how one defines the "tyranny" that one uses those arms against.
It would seem that "tyranny" for the gun nuts typically includes:
- tax increases
- gay marriage
- illegal immigration
- violence against the weak, powerless or poor
- silencing dissent
- arresting freedom
- oppressing the minority -- or the majority
- curtailing guarenteed liberties
- rejecting history
*Why do the most "patriotic", country loving folk find it so easy to seperate themselves from the republican (small R) form of government they have elected to represent them? We need more ownership. An ownership society. I think I heard President Bush say that somewhere.
Fortune-ately
I went to Panda Express today for lunch. Oooh. I love Panda Express. They remembered to give me my free fortune cookie. Oooh. I really love Panda Express. Today's fortune:
So true. So true.
You are a connoisseur of food and drink.
So true. So true.
Fuck Kevin Shelley - and - Debra Bowen for Secretary of State!
FUCK KEVIN SHELLEY! He was the Democrat that was elected to this office in 2002 and had to resign in 2005 in disgrace. Screw him for being a crook and screw him for endangering democracy in the process. When the storm clouds began circling, his ego slowed down his resignation. He wasn’t forced out until after Gray Davis was booted out and Arnold got to name his REPUBLICAN replacement. That Republican, a “moderate,” has since legalized corruptible black box voting machines by Diebold and emboldened Republican “election stealing” practicians.Fear not! We have a remarkable candidate in Senator Debra Bowen. Not only is she my State Senator in beautiful Marina del Rey, but she’s perhaps one of the smartest people in Sacramento on election policy – because she’s written most of it.
As a plus, both Democratic candidates for this office are women, so we can look forward to once again having at least one woman in statewide office – besides of course our Senators.
----
A Recap of my Recommendations So Far:
Phil Angelides for Governor
John Garamendi for Lieutenant Governor
Jerry Brown for Attorney General
A reluctant vote for Bill Lockyer for Treasurer
John Chiang for Controller
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Bloggin' the Bill of Rights
One of the best things on the Internets right now is David Plotz's running series on Slate.com. David is blogging the Bible. He's reading the torah -- for the first real time -- and pointing out some of the more, um... interesting... parts. Check it out. In tribute to his project, I've decided to blog the Bill of Rights.
I chose the Bill of Rights for two reasons. Firstly, it is a very important document -- especially in these times -- like the Bible. Secondly, it is much, much, much shorter than the Bible.
- - - -
Amendment 1: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
Many a Hollywood legal thriller and David E. Kelly television series has made the argument that this is the first amendment for a reason. Something about these clearly being the most important priorities of the early democratic pioneers. Rubbish.
How so, you ask? Because it wasn't the first amendment to the constitution. The first amendment, which wasn't ratified, was some stupid enumeration of represenatives. The second was a rule about congressional salaries. This was the third "priority." Let's just say it ended up first because they picked them out of a hat. One of those nifty, tri-pointed hats they wear at Busch Gardens.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...
Do you hear that Senator Frist? No law! Pretty simple really. They didn't say, "Congress shall not create an official religion." They said, "no law respecting an establishment of religion." So keep your bible off my constitution bitch.
...or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...
Go ahead. We won't make any laws telling you what to do AND what not to do. You're religion says that during a span of 45 minutes cheap wine turns into the blood of a man who's been dead for 2,000 years? Fine by us. Drink away. Your religion says that you can preform a sacred ceremony recongizing and celebrating the love of two people? Go ahead. As long as those two people are of different genders. Seriously. Otherwise, we'll kick your ass you stupid faggot.
...or abridging the freedom of speech...
What do we mean by speech? Clearly we mean the freedom of wealthy people, preferably Republicans (who don't even exist yet as we write this amendment) and definately white, to blather on and on and on about whatever they want on things like Fox News, talk radio and the Drudge Report. (Also, none of which yet exist either. Do you think our colonial leaders were onto something? No Republicans, talk radio, Matt Drudge or Fox News?)
...or of the press...
See above re: Fox News, talk radio and the Drudge Report.
... or the right of the people peaceably to assemble...
Peacefully assemble in little cages blocks away from whatever it is that has caused them to want to assemble. Unless they are radical abortion protesters. We'll let them sprawl their bodies dangerously across private property, post pictures of medical doctors on the Internet, and cyberstalk desperate women.
...and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
However, the "government" has the right to totally disregard, ignore, burn, otherwise mutilate and/or urinate on said petitions. And then wrap your birthday present in the urine-covered petitions. Which is okay, because your present is just a heaping pile of pre-emptive war.
All kidding aside, the whole idea in this amendment is pretty amazing. Our government started out by placing limits on itself. Rarely do people in power take extraordinary efforts to limit their own power. Of course, there's probably been a number of people since those exciting revolutionary times that are pretty pissed with our founders for this, but tough shit. You just try to undo this first amendment.
Um, President Bush and congressional Republicans, that's not a challenge. Seriously. Don't actually try it. Seriously. I promise we all like this one.
I chose the Bill of Rights for two reasons. Firstly, it is a very important document -- especially in these times -- like the Bible. Secondly, it is much, much, much shorter than the Bible.
- - - -
Amendment 1: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
Many a Hollywood legal thriller and David E. Kelly television series has made the argument that this is the first amendment for a reason. Something about these clearly being the most important priorities of the early democratic pioneers. Rubbish.
How so, you ask? Because it wasn't the first amendment to the constitution. The first amendment, which wasn't ratified, was some stupid enumeration of represenatives. The second was a rule about congressional salaries. This was the third "priority." Let's just say it ended up first because they picked them out of a hat. One of those nifty, tri-pointed hats they wear at Busch Gardens.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...
Do you hear that Senator Frist? No law! Pretty simple really. They didn't say, "Congress shall not create an official religion." They said, "no law respecting an establishment of religion." So keep your bible off my constitution bitch.
...or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...
Go ahead. We won't make any laws telling you what to do AND what not to do. You're religion says that during a span of 45 minutes cheap wine turns into the blood of a man who's been dead for 2,000 years? Fine by us. Drink away. Your religion says that you can preform a sacred ceremony recongizing and celebrating the love of two people? Go ahead. As long as those two people are of different genders. Seriously. Otherwise, we'll kick your ass you stupid faggot.
...or abridging the freedom of speech...
What do we mean by speech? Clearly we mean the freedom of wealthy people, preferably Republicans (who don't even exist yet as we write this amendment) and definately white, to blather on and on and on about whatever they want on things like Fox News, talk radio and the Drudge Report. (Also, none of which yet exist either. Do you think our colonial leaders were onto something? No Republicans, talk radio, Matt Drudge or Fox News?)
...or of the press...
See above re: Fox News, talk radio and the Drudge Report.
... or the right of the people peaceably to assemble...
Peacefully assemble in little cages blocks away from whatever it is that has caused them to want to assemble. Unless they are radical abortion protesters. We'll let them sprawl their bodies dangerously across private property, post pictures of medical doctors on the Internet, and cyberstalk desperate women.
...and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
However, the "government" has the right to totally disregard, ignore, burn, otherwise mutilate and/or urinate on said petitions. And then wrap your birthday present in the urine-covered petitions. Which is okay, because your present is just a heaping pile of pre-emptive war.
All kidding aside, the whole idea in this amendment is pretty amazing. Our government started out by placing limits on itself. Rarely do people in power take extraordinary efforts to limit their own power. Of course, there's probably been a number of people since those exciting revolutionary times that are pretty pissed with our founders for this, but tough shit. You just try to undo this first amendment.
Um, President Bush and congressional Republicans, that's not a challenge. Seriously. Don't actually try it. Seriously. I promise we all like this one.
The Deep End
Why don't I have more gay friends? Besides my fear that Allen will sleep with them all, there is this cute little episode from last week.
About a year ago I met a homosexual on one of our dive boats. There is an unwritten rule at the shop that all homosexuals must be immediately introduced to and befriended by Brian. Apparently, no homosexual is to go down without a proper orientation by Brian. (Go down? I mean underwater, you pervert!)
This guy is a little intense. Maybe its the result of too much therapy. He'd call me almost every day just to talk. I don't "just talk" on the phone with anyone who lives in the same city. The phone is best used for making plans to "just talk" in person, where I can undress you with my eyes.
This is how the silly fag earned the name, "my stalker." I think there's a good chance he wanted me. I can't really blame him. However, he had this little personality quirk. He thought everyone was fat. Everyone. After we saw Into the Blue -- mmm, Paul Walker -- he kept talking about how fat Scott Caan was. Now, he may not be as hot as "mmm, Paul Walker" but fat he ain't. In casual conversation, my stalker would admit to his own body issues, eating disorders, gym-going addictions, and years of therapy. Completely useless therapy. This fucker is still nuts. And not that skinny himself. And definately ugly.
I'm not that superficial. I will freely and often admit I am carrying a few extra pounds. But I'm still cute. Even at my heaviest I'd consider myself cute. This guy, at Lindsay Lohen's heaviest, is still ugly. He combs his hair the same way I did in 7th grade. He has the sense of style of a 40 year-old virgin Republican tax accountant from South Bend. (He's 28, a young lawyer, and lives in a posh neighborhood in LA.) And I wouldn't say any of this about him if he wasn't the first to point out everyone else's failures.
Over a year, we've had some heated discussions, which don't amount to much really. Over the past 45 minutes I've had heated discussions with everyone from our new intern to the lady at Subway who made my lunchtime sandwhich. Apparently, they meant something to the stalker.
Realizing I hadn't talked to him in several weeks -- maybe even months -- and not sure if I owed him a call, I decided to give him a ring. My message went unreturned. This stung a little because it's all part of my new plan to be more proactive with my friends.
This past Friday I learned why the call went unreturned. Apparently, I'm an ass.
He was at the dive shop, likely getting on someone's nerves, and so I said "hi." After commenting about not seeing him for a long time he told me that it was because the last time we spoke -- a fruitless, endless conversation in which he kept making cheap ass excuses not support the Catalina Chamber -- I told him he was wasting my time. (He was.) That was the fourth time -- yes, apparently he was keeping score -- that I was unnecessarily rude to him and he decided that I was such a horrible human being that he would "need to sever ties with me." Unilaterally. Without saying anything. Passive aggressive little twit.
Unless of course I wanted to apologize. What did I do?
"Well (insert stalker's name), it seems like you want an apology. However, I don't really think that I can nor should apologize to you because you are hypersensitive and passive aggressive. My friends know me and love me for who I am. They don't expect me to change or apologize every time they're not happy. Clearly, its best for you not to be counted among that group. Have a nice life though."
What does this mean for you, dear reader? It means that the position of Brian's stalker is once again open. Please submit resumes, headshots, ManHunt profiles, and other necessary information to freakingyouout@crazyasbatshit.com.
NOTE: If you do a Google Image search for "crazy as bat shit" you'll get the above photo of Zell Miller.
About a year ago I met a homosexual on one of our dive boats. There is an unwritten rule at the shop that all homosexuals must be immediately introduced to and befriended by Brian. Apparently, no homosexual is to go down without a proper orientation by Brian. (Go down? I mean underwater, you pervert!)
This guy is a little intense. Maybe its the result of too much therapy. He'd call me almost every day just to talk. I don't "just talk" on the phone with anyone who lives in the same city. The phone is best used for making plans to "just talk" in person, where I can undress you with my eyes.
This is how the silly fag earned the name, "my stalker." I think there's a good chance he wanted me. I can't really blame him. However, he had this little personality quirk. He thought everyone was fat. Everyone. After we saw Into the Blue -- mmm, Paul Walker -- he kept talking about how fat Scott Caan was. Now, he may not be as hot as "mmm, Paul Walker" but fat he ain't. In casual conversation, my stalker would admit to his own body issues, eating disorders, gym-going addictions, and years of therapy. Completely useless therapy. This fucker is still nuts. And not that skinny himself. And definately ugly.I'm not that superficial. I will freely and often admit I am carrying a few extra pounds. But I'm still cute. Even at my heaviest I'd consider myself cute. This guy, at Lindsay Lohen's heaviest, is still ugly. He combs his hair the same way I did in 7th grade. He has the sense of style of a 40 year-old virgin Republican tax accountant from South Bend. (He's 28, a young lawyer, and lives in a posh neighborhood in LA.) And I wouldn't say any of this about him if he wasn't the first to point out everyone else's failures.
Over a year, we've had some heated discussions, which don't amount to much really. Over the past 45 minutes I've had heated discussions with everyone from our new intern to the lady at Subway who made my lunchtime sandwhich. Apparently, they meant something to the stalker.
Realizing I hadn't talked to him in several weeks -- maybe even months -- and not sure if I owed him a call, I decided to give him a ring. My message went unreturned. This stung a little because it's all part of my new plan to be more proactive with my friends.
This past Friday I learned why the call went unreturned. Apparently, I'm an ass.
He was at the dive shop, likely getting on someone's nerves, and so I said "hi." After commenting about not seeing him for a long time he told me that it was because the last time we spoke -- a fruitless, endless conversation in which he kept making cheap ass excuses not support the Catalina Chamber -- I told him he was wasting my time. (He was.) That was the fourth time -- yes, apparently he was keeping score -- that I was unnecessarily rude to him and he decided that I was such a horrible human being that he would "need to sever ties with me." Unilaterally. Without saying anything. Passive aggressive little twit.
Unless of course I wanted to apologize. What did I do?
"Well (insert stalker's name), it seems like you want an apology. However, I don't really think that I can nor should apologize to you because you are hypersensitive and passive aggressive. My friends know me and love me for who I am. They don't expect me to change or apologize every time they're not happy. Clearly, its best for you not to be counted among that group. Have a nice life though."
What does this mean for you, dear reader? It means that the position of Brian's stalker is once again open. Please submit resumes, headshots, ManHunt profiles, and other necessary information to freakingyouout@crazyasbatshit.com.
NOTE: If you do a Google Image search for "crazy as bat shit" you'll get the above photo of Zell Miller.
Tow-Away: No Parking Never
That sign would seem a little confusing, right?
Yesterday, I was walking from a seminar to the Honda dealer in Culver City. Diddling down the street I saw a parking sign that said:
If a 10 hour parking limit is enforced from 8 AM to 6 PM, it is, essentially, no limit at all. I could leave my car there 24 hours a day, no problem as there are only 10 hours between 8 AM and 6 PM.
Dumbasses!
Yesterday, I was walking from a seminar to the Honda dealer in Culver City. Diddling down the street I saw a parking sign that said:
10 Hour ParkingDo you see it?
8 AM - 6 PM
If a 10 hour parking limit is enforced from 8 AM to 6 PM, it is, essentially, no limit at all. I could leave my car there 24 hours a day, no problem as there are only 10 hours between 8 AM and 6 PM.
Dumbasses!
You know he won't leave in 4 years to be Governor! Chiang for Controller!
John is one of those elected officials I know personally. He is maybe one of the nicest people in the Democratic Party. He is also chicken shit which is why I almost didn’t issue this endorsement. John originally entered the race for Treasurer – back in 2003. I was on the Executive Board of the Democratic Party of the San Fernando Valley when we made a huge mistake and did a record early endorsement in the race.
Then Bill Lockyer dropped out of the Governor’s race – even though he never officially entered it – in 2005 and announced he was running for Treasurer. Seemingly within the same day, John announced he was changing offices as did his other Treasurer opponent who has since dropped out all together, Dario Frommer.
He entered a race in which Orange County Senator Joe Dunn was already a declared candidate. Joe Dunn is a pragmatic liberal from conservative Orange County who is most notorious for “cracking Enron.” He was a successful trial lawyer before entering public office. With his record in the legislature and his hugely successful legal practice, he’d make an excellent Attorney General in a race that could use at least one decent candidate. Unfortunately, he’s running for Controller.
John on the other hand is a member of the Board of Equalization. The BOE is an ambiguous elected body that controls much of the state’s finances. Prior to his election to the BOE, he worked for the BOE. Oh, and the BOE works hand in hand with the Controller. This is probably the perfect fit for him. Except I’ve never heard him give a non-chicken shit answer as to why he made the change.
He’ll be a great Controller. Joe Dunn would make a great Attorney General. Unfortunately, only one of them is running for the right office.
To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations.
No Choice (Literally) But Bill Lockyer for Treasurer
You have no choice in this one. Bill Lockyer – who everyone expected would run for Governor – jumped into this race and emptied it out. He has a big war chest, and his running unopposed. He should be retiring, but it looks like he’ll be your next treasurer.To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
A Southern Gentleman Passes
We've lost a Democratic icon. Lloyd Bentsen, the popular Texas Senator and Vice Presidential nominee, has passed away at the age of 85. He was an accomplished leader and politician and a prominent player in the Southern Democratic party. His politics may not have been perfect, but I think they remind us that the Democratic Party is and should be a big tent party focused on working men, women and families first.
Secretary Bentsen, he served as Treasury Secretary for President Clinton, will always hold a special place in my heart for being the key figure in one of my first political memories. I was not yet 10 years old and there was a presidential election. Vice President Bush picked a running mate that most thought was a bit of a lightweight -- a lightweight who had grand visions of himself as JFK II.This created one of the best moments in political theatre ever.
Tom Brokaw: Senator Quayle, I don't mean to beat this drum until it has no more sound in it... when you said that it was a hypothetical situation, it is, sir, after all, the reason that we're here tonight, because you are running not just for Vice President and if you cite the experience that you had in Congress, surely you must have some plan in mind about what you would do if it fell to you to become President of the United States, as it has to so many Vice Presidents just in the last 25 years or so.SNAP!
Quayle: Let me try to answer the question one more time. I think this is the fourth time that I've had this question.
Brokaw: The third time.
Quayle: Three times that I've had this question - and I will try to answer it again for you, as clearly as I can, because the question you are asking is what kind of qualifications does Dan Quayle have to be president, what kind of qualifications do I have and what would I do in this kind of a situation. And what would I do in this situation? I would make sure that the people in the cabinet and the people that are advisors to the president are called in, and I would talk to them, and I will work with them... I will be prepared not only because of my service in the Congress, but because of my ability to communicate and to lead. It is not just age; it's accomplishments, it's experience. I have far more experience than many others that sought the office of vice president of this country. I have as much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency. I will be prepared to deal with the people in the Bush administration, if that unfortunate event would ever occur.
Judy Woodruff: Senator Bentsen.
Bentsen: Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy, I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy. (Prolonged boos and applause) What has to be done in a situation like that is to call in the -
Woodruff: Please, please, once again you are only taking time away from your own candidate.
Quayle: That was really uncalled for, Senator. (Shouts and applause)
Bentsen: You are the one that was making the comparison, Senator - and I'm one who knew him well. And frankly I think you are so far apart in the objectives you choose for your country that I did not think the comparison was well-taken.
NOTE: This is my 100th post. What do you think thus far?
Gov. Moonbeam is our only hope! Jerry Brown for AG!
This is not a vote for Jerry Brown but a vote against Rocky Delgadillo. Jerry has a chance at being a good, pragmatic liberal AG. Rocky has a good chance at screwing with California for personal political gain.In 2001, Rocky Delgadillo squeaked by into the City Attorney’s office in Los Angeles. His opponent for the open seat was Mike Feuer, a popular Westside City Councilman. Mike is as principled of a man as there is – I promise to tell you more later. Rocky was a policy wonk in Mayor Riordan’s administration – one of many Democrats that worked for the popular Republican.
Mike led in most polls right up until election day. But a few weeks before the election, billboards supporting Rocky started popping up around Los Angeles, especially in heavily Latino communities. If I remember correctly, nearly $500,000 worth of billboard in one month that weren’t paid for by Rocky. It was an independent expenditure campaign by the billboard industry. Why did they support Rocky? Because he wasn’t Mike Feuer!
On the City Council, Mike was the author of an ordinance that forbids billboards for alcohol and (at the time) tobacco being erected within a reasonable distance to schools and churches. This ordinance hurt the billboard industry right in the pocketbook, so they opened it against Mike big time.
Since then, I knew I wouldn’t like Rocky. But it’s gotten worse since working with Los Angeles’ poorest residents. While the City Attorney is responsible for prosecuting slumlord, many notice that some of LA’s worst slumlords have gotten a pass. Why? Who knows, but they also happen to be donors to Rocky’s campaign warchest.
Jerry Brown has become a good mayor. Many of the things he did as Governor were good, too. And as long as he holds himself up to his father as a standard, we know he will never stoop as low as Delgadillo will – and has.
To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations. (This file hosting program, Savefile, is a bit clunky. Anyone know of a better one?)
Monday, May 22, 2006
Rainy Mondays
This was a weird weekend. I didn't do anything extraordinary, although I'm extraordinarily tired. It is only made worse by the weath.
I got a lot of diving in this weekend and was teaching a big class of 7 students. I'll have the same 7 students next weekend. They are a pretty good class with 2 couples. I also met a gay, who was in my friend Amelia's class. It hit me. Being single can be very isolating -- a self-perpetuating cycle really. He was excited to learn about a project of mine, ScubaBoys.com, because he felt weird in his first class being single, gay, and not being certified with any friends while the rest of his class was coupled and straight. I guess I really need to get cracking on ScubaBoys then.
Even though I am very tired, I am also very happy. Maybe it was the new Caramel White Mocha that I discovered this morning at Tanner's. Or the fact that it was free because of my Buy-Ten-Get-One-Free card. (Thank you very much Tanner's for not becoming a cyncical bitch like Coffee Bean. Boooo coffee bean.) Or maybe it was because my first hour of work has been a parade of the ridiculous.
See, when I showed up at 8:30 this morning the place was empty. As a reader of this blog, you probably know that I love that! Starting from 9:30 on everyone started trickling in (word choice is my tribute to the weather). When I am late I just say, "Oops. I'm late. Deal with it." But not these people. They all have to have excuses like, "Gosh, it's raining. I am totally shocked at how horrible the traffic is." Yeah, cause bad traffic on a rainy day in Southern California is such a surprise.
I got a lot of diving in this weekend and was teaching a big class of 7 students. I'll have the same 7 students next weekend. They are a pretty good class with 2 couples. I also met a gay, who was in my friend Amelia's class. It hit me. Being single can be very isolating -- a self-perpetuating cycle really. He was excited to learn about a project of mine, ScubaBoys.com, because he felt weird in his first class being single, gay, and not being certified with any friends while the rest of his class was coupled and straight. I guess I really need to get cracking on ScubaBoys then.
Even though I am very tired, I am also very happy. Maybe it was the new Caramel White Mocha that I discovered this morning at Tanner's. Or the fact that it was free because of my Buy-Ten-Get-One-Free card. (Thank you very much Tanner's for not becoming a cyncical bitch like Coffee Bean. Boooo coffee bean.) Or maybe it was because my first hour of work has been a parade of the ridiculous.
See, when I showed up at 8:30 this morning the place was empty. As a reader of this blog, you probably know that I love that! Starting from 9:30 on everyone started trickling in (word choice is my tribute to the weather). When I am late I just say, "Oops. I'm late. Deal with it." But not these people. They all have to have excuses like, "Gosh, it's raining. I am totally shocked at how horrible the traffic is." Yeah, cause bad traffic on a rainy day in Southern California is such a surprise.
John Garamendi for Lt. Governor -- A Lesson in Integrity
If John Garamendi was running for Governor, my first recommendation would likely be different. John Garamendi is one of my favorite elected officials in California. He has a compelling life story: the Berkeley educated, All-American football playing, Peace Corps volunteering rancher from California’s Central Valley who becomes one of the most reliable, progressive voices for California.
John Garamendi is a former Democratic leader from the legislature who became California’s first elected insurance commissioner in 1990. He unsuccessfully challenged Pete Wilson in his 1994 re-election bid in which Proposition 187 was exploited by the unpopular Republican. After giving up his office to challenge Wilson, Garamendi was succeeded by Chuck Quackenbush, who was forced to resign in disgrace after tarnishing the office that Garamendi actually created.
In 2002, John ran for re-election after a successful tenure at the Federal Department of the Interior. Since returning to the office, John has turned the Insurance Commissioner’s office into one of the most effective public advocates and consumer protection agencies – maybe second only to Eliot Spitzer’s office in New York.
Unfortunately for us, John just didn’t have the financial war chest to compete against Arnold Schwarzenegger (and Angelides and Westly) – partially because he has always refused to take contributions from the industries his office regulates thus disqualifying insurance, health care, and other contributions. (Ahem, are you listening Cruz Bustamante?)
John’s being challenged in the primary by Jackie Spier and Liz Figueroa, two progressive Northern California women. While this is one of only 2 offices that women are seeking in the primary, and I’d love to have all the statewide officers be women, I just am not willing to pursue that at the expense of a brilliant leader and activist like John Garamendi.
After 16 years of mostly useless (Democratic) Lieutenant Governors who use the office as nothing more than a paycheck or title for higher office, it will be great to have a man there who will reshape an office that has become known as “Lite Governor.” John Garamendi did it with the Insurance Commissioner’s office, and he can do it with the Lt. Governor’s too!
As an extra note, his likely GOP challenger is far-right wacko Tom McClintock. Tom has little chance appealing to the moderate-to-liberal California electorate. Therefore, should the governor’s race not go our way, it’s great to know that Schwarzenegger’s number two will be an outspoken, strong-minded liberal.
To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations. (This file hosting program, Savefile, is a bit clunky. Anyone know of a better one?)
John Garamendi is a former Democratic leader from the legislature who became California’s first elected insurance commissioner in 1990. He unsuccessfully challenged Pete Wilson in his 1994 re-election bid in which Proposition 187 was exploited by the unpopular Republican. After giving up his office to challenge Wilson, Garamendi was succeeded by Chuck Quackenbush, who was forced to resign in disgrace after tarnishing the office that Garamendi actually created.
In 2002, John ran for re-election after a successful tenure at the Federal Department of the Interior. Since returning to the office, John has turned the Insurance Commissioner’s office into one of the most effective public advocates and consumer protection agencies – maybe second only to Eliot Spitzer’s office in New York.
Unfortunately for us, John just didn’t have the financial war chest to compete against Arnold Schwarzenegger (and Angelides and Westly) – partially because he has always refused to take contributions from the industries his office regulates thus disqualifying insurance, health care, and other contributions. (Ahem, are you listening Cruz Bustamante?)
John’s being challenged in the primary by Jackie Spier and Liz Figueroa, two progressive Northern California women. While this is one of only 2 offices that women are seeking in the primary, and I’d love to have all the statewide officers be women, I just am not willing to pursue that at the expense of a brilliant leader and activist like John Garamendi.
After 16 years of mostly useless (Democratic) Lieutenant Governors who use the office as nothing more than a paycheck or title for higher office, it will be great to have a man there who will reshape an office that has become known as “Lite Governor.” John Garamendi did it with the Insurance Commissioner’s office, and he can do it with the Lt. Governor’s too!
As an extra note, his likely GOP challenger is far-right wacko Tom McClintock. Tom has little chance appealing to the moderate-to-liberal California electorate. Therefore, should the governor’s race not go our way, it’s great to know that Schwarzenegger’s number two will be an outspoken, strong-minded liberal.
To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations. (This file hosting program, Savefile, is a bit clunky. Anyone know of a better one?)
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Go Phil Go! Phil Angelides for Governor
Phil was the first Democrat to announce for this race. He essentially started his campaign in October 2003 immediately after the recall of Gray Davis. He knew then that Californians would not take well to Schwarzenegger’s rightward tilt. This was confirmed in the 2005 Special Election – the election which Brian’s Big Voter Guide was right on every race! Coincidence? You decide.While some Democrats – cough cough – tried to kiss up to the new celebrity governor, Phil got right to work fighting for progressive values and speaking up for the Democratic majority throughout the state.
His Democratic credentials are impeccable. He’s used the office of Treasurer to push through a progressive agenda. Ironically, both he and his primary opponent, Steve Westly, have used relatively ambiguous offices to push through dramatic reform.
Phil has been endorsed by the majority of California’s progressive leaders including both United States Senators, Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer. He’s been endorsed by the California Teachers Association, Nurses Association and the majority of firefighters and police unions. He was also endorse by a super-majority at the California Democratic Convention and is therefore the official Democratic candidate.
He’s got a positive, progressive agenda to improve California and move us through the 21st century. His major emphasis is on education, and recognizes that properly funding education should be our top priority.
But what about Steve Westly? I like Steve Westly. I was an early endorser of Steve four years ago when he ran for Controller. I would be happy to work on his campaign for re-election. I just don’t think he’d make a good governor. Much like Gray Davis, I think Steve Westly is more concerned about keeping both sides happy, and less concerned about governing.
In coming years, as early as 2007, California will again face crippling budget deficits. Steve Westly was part of the team that in 2003 that said the only way to fix the budget is to borrow our way out of it. The other half of that team was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Steve has not come up with any concrete plans to address the budget crisis besides suggesting “creative” models including reviewing the lottery and collecting from more tax cheats.
I think that we may have already hit up the tax cheat angle. For example, in this primary, three major candidates are talking about their work to go after California’s tax cheats – Westly running for governor, John Chiang running for Controller and Judy Chu running fro Board of Equalization. The three worked on getting through some important legislation and enforcement, but I think because of their success that well might be running dry.
I also am afraid that Steve is trying to buy this office. He’s spent $20 million of his own money to “level the playing field” with Phil Angelides. The difference is Phil has collected from thousands of donors over 3 years to build up his war chest. He had to sell them on his vision, strategy, and ability. Steve raised the bulk of his money from one donor – himself – and I imagine that didn’t take much convincing.
Westly supporters are bound to say that Steve is more electable, moderate and palatable. At the same time, they’ll decry Phil as a career politician. Let’s address the second point first. Phil has served exactly 4 years more in office than Steve Westly. He served 2 terms as Treasurer. Not really a career politician. Granted, prior to his public life, when he was running a business in the Sacramento area, he spent his free time as Chair of the California Democratic Party. He was chair in 1992, the same year the California elected Boxer, Feinstein, and sent its electoral votes to Washington for Bill Clinton. Not a bad record in my book. Oh, and guess what? Steve Westly wanted to be party chair back in 1988. He would have been, too, had he not be defeated by Jerry Brown.
As to the electable argument, Phil is electable. So much so that he was elected twice in statewide elections. He’s been tested, as is demonstrated by his fundraising and endorsement success. Steve Westly’s only been elected once, in 2002. That year, Democrats swept every statewide office and yet Steve Westly barely squeaked in a victory. He almost lost the general election to Tom McClintock – the most rightwing member of the California GOP.
Therefore, my recommendation is for Phil Angelides for Governor.
To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations. (This file hosting program, Savefile, is a bit clunky. Anyone know of a better one?)
How Brian Votes
for several years now, I've been asked for insight into elections -- who am I voting for and why? I guess I'm just the biggest geek among my friends... a king among kings so to speak. I have exciting news.
Brian’s Big Voter Guide is ready for its 2006 edition. This is an important year for Californians, and therefore I’ve decided to publish my picks – and the reasons behind them – for the primary election this June. Of course, I’m a Democrat and all my partisan recommendations will fall in the Democratic races. To my Republicans friends, both of you will need to confer with each other and decide how to vote. Fortunately for you, the California GOP has done an amazing job at eliminating that whole democratic process and will only be nominating one candidate in most races.
This issue of the Big Voter Guide is a little slim on initiatives as well. We’ve been spared doing the legislature’s job this cycle and only have two relatively uncontroversial propositions – until you read my take.
I will post my recommendations one at a time. Feel free to comment.
To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations. (This file hosting program, Savefile, is a bit clunky. Anyone know of a better one?)
Brian’s Big Voter Guide is ready for its 2006 edition. This is an important year for Californians, and therefore I’ve decided to publish my picks – and the reasons behind them – for the primary election this June. Of course, I’m a Democrat and all my partisan recommendations will fall in the Democratic races. To my Republicans friends, both of you will need to confer with each other and decide how to vote. Fortunately for you, the California GOP has done an amazing job at eliminating that whole democratic process and will only be nominating one candidate in most races.
This issue of the Big Voter Guide is a little slim on initiatives as well. We’ve been spared doing the legislature’s job this cycle and only have two relatively uncontroversial propositions – until you read my take.
I will post my recommendations one at a time. Feel free to comment.
To download the full version of Brian's Big Voter Guide 2006, click here! The voter guide is a PDF document with all of my recommendations and explanations. (This file hosting program, Savefile, is a bit clunky. Anyone know of a better one?)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
And so it goes...
You may not have noticed, but we are in an election season. In a few weeks, Democrats will pick Arnold Schwarznegger's challenger. Some will tell you it's about picking the "person who can beat Arnold." They are probably supporting Steve Westly. Others, like me, will tell you its about picking who will be the better governor. We are supporting Phil Angelides.
Steve Westly's campaign is about empty, ungovernable promises. Oh. And lies. He was the first to go negative. He has issued a campaign commericial accusing Phil of wanting to raising taxes on everything that has ever existed. It's a lie. Steve doesn't care. He just wants to win.
Which is ironic because when he was WAY behind in the polls, he begged Phil to sign a pledge swearing off negative campaigning. Of course, those in politics know this is a fool's errand. No one will ever sign a pledge like that because somehow it will be used against you. Unfortunately, Steve Westly will have to learn that the hard way.
After his opening salvo, the Angelides team has come up with a creative -- and what I think is a powerful -- response.
Steve Westly's campaign is about empty, ungovernable promises. Oh. And lies. He was the first to go negative. He has issued a campaign commericial accusing Phil of wanting to raising taxes on everything that has ever existed. It's a lie. Steve doesn't care. He just wants to win.
Which is ironic because when he was WAY behind in the polls, he begged Phil to sign a pledge swearing off negative campaigning. Of course, those in politics know this is a fool's errand. No one will ever sign a pledge like that because somehow it will be used against you. Unfortunately, Steve Westly will have to learn that the hard way.
After his opening salvo, the Angelides team has come up with a creative -- and what I think is a powerful -- response.
He's Starting to Get It
My friend know that my oldest brother moved to LA a few months ago. This is the first time in more than 17 years that we've really lived in the same city. This is exciting for me because both my brothers are kind of heroes of mine. I mean, they aren't as smart as me, or as good looking, or as funny and likable as I am, but they are neat guys. Really, I should be their hero. I probably am.
My oldest brother is a little bit of a muckraker. He'll same some of the most outlandish things just to get under people's skin. Unfortunately, his claims of being a Republican aren't just about getting under my skin -- although it does!
Every family has to have one I guess. We have two.
Today, we were talking about unemployment insurance and a fat cow we know of that is gaming the system. Unfortunately, California's assinine unemployment system allows you to collect unemployment when you quit your job to relocate -- even if it was entirely your own personal choice to quit.
In our conversation, my brother mentioned how there are "illegal aliens working hard and paying taxes and they'll never see a penny of it in a refund and this fat bitch is skimming of the government dime." You may not catch the subtle argument that made me so proud. It was the part about immigrants working hard and paying taxes. They do. And just as my brother, the red blooded Republican from the South says, they'll likely not see much in return because they want to avoid the prying eyes of la migra.
I can't imagine where he possibly picked up such an enlightened argument, but he couldn't be any more right. Kick the fat bitch to the curb! Si, se puede!
My oldest brother is a little bit of a muckraker. He'll same some of the most outlandish things just to get under people's skin. Unfortunately, his claims of being a Republican aren't just about getting under my skin -- although it does!
Every family has to have one I guess. We have two.
Today, we were talking about unemployment insurance and a fat cow we know of that is gaming the system. Unfortunately, California's assinine unemployment system allows you to collect unemployment when you quit your job to relocate -- even if it was entirely your own personal choice to quit.
In our conversation, my brother mentioned how there are "illegal aliens working hard and paying taxes and they'll never see a penny of it in a refund and this fat bitch is skimming of the government dime." You may not catch the subtle argument that made me so proud. It was the part about immigrants working hard and paying taxes. They do. And just as my brother, the red blooded Republican from the South says, they'll likely not see much in return because they want to avoid the prying eyes of la migra.
I can't imagine where he possibly picked up such an enlightened argument, but he couldn't be any more right. Kick the fat bitch to the curb! Si, se puede!
Monday, May 15, 2006
Busy as a Bee-otch
Today was a rough day. I worked almost non-stop for the whole day -- including over an hour of overtime! I'll confess to about a 10 minute conversation with the friend (Hey Mo') but that was it. Work work work.
Why was I so busy? Because I am planning our big fundraising luncheon for this Thursday -- which meant a lot of one on one time with the bosslady. She's the worst decision maker ever. Thank god I just do what I want anyway.
We spent over 30 minutes trying to seat our staff at various tables. I really think it'd be great if we had a staff that was sprinkled through the room so they could talk with the guests about the work that they do. I really think people would be impressed... and then I remember that we are talking about our actual staff and not people who are competent, coherrent and literate.
The conclusion we reached: throw all the staff onto two tables tucked far away in the corner. If anyone asks, they are drunk homeless clients here to sing our praises. Pretty pathetic really.
Why was I so busy? Because I am planning our big fundraising luncheon for this Thursday -- which meant a lot of one on one time with the bosslady. She's the worst decision maker ever. Thank god I just do what I want anyway.
We spent over 30 minutes trying to seat our staff at various tables. I really think it'd be great if we had a staff that was sprinkled through the room so they could talk with the guests about the work that they do. I really think people would be impressed... and then I remember that we are talking about our actual staff and not people who are competent, coherrent and literate.
The conclusion we reached: throw all the staff onto two tables tucked far away in the corner. If anyone asks, they are drunk homeless clients here to sing our praises. Pretty pathetic really.
Friday, May 12, 2006
My Gay Date with Tom Cruise
Well, the readers have asked. So here is last night's recap.
I went out last night with the new friend and his super-cool lesbian friend. Yes, I know, I just called a lesbian super-cool. There's a first time for everything. Well, not everything. There's not gonna be a first time for that. I promise. Stop asking. I won't do it. Amy, that's nasty!
We met at her house after work. I got there a little early, because you know, I get everywhere early. I sat in my car and started Brian's Big Voter Guide for the June election. (Don't worry, I'll be sure to post it on the blog and email it out to anyone who asks.) They pulled up and I met them. We went inside and took care of some things.
I got a fashion show from the friend. It seems he works at a university and today is graduation day. He was very excited about the suit he got for the day. It fit wonderfully and was bought off the rack. Pretty amazing skill if you ask me. Plus, he looked hot in it. Something about a suit, I guess.
Shortly there after, we got in the car and headed to the studio. After handing over our papers and subjecting ourselves to a body cavity search, we passed Paramount security. Strangely enough, the guard recognized me from the YEARS ago that I worked on the lot. I must have a very familiar looking body cavity.
Here's when we get to the best part. Snacks! I made a little bit of an ass of myself knocking people over on my way to cupcakes. Brian loves some cupcakes. With a mouth full of chocolatey goodness, I ran into 2 former scuba students. 2 VERY gay former scuba students. They kind of creeped me out because I think they are all closeted and all. Yuck.
We hit the buffet line a couple times. Honestly, it was the weirdest mix of food I'd ever seen. Asian-inspired salads and spring rolls, an Italian pasta dish, wontonish things, and rolls. We were seeing a screening of Mission: Impossible 3, and apparently it was theme food. I never get that kind of stuff.
The film was a little crazy. Way too fast. Running running running for the entire legnth of the movie. It felt like it was only about an hour long when it reality over 2 hours had passed. I guess that's a good thing.
I kind of wanted to just sit there and make out with the friend the whole time, but we did have our chaperone, and we were sitting in the middle of crowded theatre at a Public Affairs department screening. But who cares, right? Alas, it would have to wait.
We went back to the Sapho House and chilled. We watched a little Wondershowzen -- this episode was all about patience, and to test your patience, the episode was only 15 minutes long versus the typical 30 minutes. For the second half, they just played the entire first half again -- but backwards. Then I said good-bye, stopped by the Catholic Church on the way home and said 10 Hail Mary's, and cuddled into my own bed.
That's my night.
I went out last night with the new friend and his super-cool lesbian friend. Yes, I know, I just called a lesbian super-cool. There's a first time for everything. Well, not everything. There's not gonna be a first time for that. I promise. Stop asking. I won't do it. Amy, that's nasty!
We met at her house after work. I got there a little early, because you know, I get everywhere early. I sat in my car and started Brian's Big Voter Guide for the June election. (Don't worry, I'll be sure to post it on the blog and email it out to anyone who asks.) They pulled up and I met them. We went inside and took care of some things.
I got a fashion show from the friend. It seems he works at a university and today is graduation day. He was very excited about the suit he got for the day. It fit wonderfully and was bought off the rack. Pretty amazing skill if you ask me. Plus, he looked hot in it. Something about a suit, I guess.
Shortly there after, we got in the car and headed to the studio. After handing over our papers and subjecting ourselves to a body cavity search, we passed Paramount security. Strangely enough, the guard recognized me from the YEARS ago that I worked on the lot. I must have a very familiar looking body cavity.
Here's when we get to the best part. Snacks! I made a little bit of an ass of myself knocking people over on my way to cupcakes. Brian loves some cupcakes. With a mouth full of chocolatey goodness, I ran into 2 former scuba students. 2 VERY gay former scuba students. They kind of creeped me out because I think they are all closeted and all. Yuck.
We hit the buffet line a couple times. Honestly, it was the weirdest mix of food I'd ever seen. Asian-inspired salads and spring rolls, an Italian pasta dish, wontonish things, and rolls. We were seeing a screening of Mission: Impossible 3, and apparently it was theme food. I never get that kind of stuff. The film was a little crazy. Way too fast. Running running running for the entire legnth of the movie. It felt like it was only about an hour long when it reality over 2 hours had passed. I guess that's a good thing.
I kind of wanted to just sit there and make out with the friend the whole time, but we did have our chaperone, and we were sitting in the middle of crowded theatre at a Public Affairs department screening. But who cares, right? Alas, it would have to wait.
We went back to the Sapho House and chilled. We watched a little Wondershowzen -- this episode was all about patience, and to test your patience, the episode was only 15 minutes long versus the typical 30 minutes. For the second half, they just played the entire first half again -- but backwards. Then I said good-bye, stopped by the Catholic Church on the way home and said 10 Hail Mary's, and cuddled into my own bed.
That's my night.
10 Years Gone
But, we all must face the ten year high school reunion at some point. Do you go or do you not? Out of morbid curiosity, I might go. It might also be fun to bring a boy, too. I wasn't out in high school and I'm not from the most progressive part of Southern California. It's what a lot you might call "rednecky." This is evidenced just by scrolling through my high school alumni page on MySpace. Everyone seems to have country music playing on their page. I actually like country, but they aren't playing Kenny Chesney, if you catch my drift.
So this is what I love. I've heard a number of people complain about the price. The tickets are $95 a person. Okay, that's not nothing, but for those of us with jobs and lives, those of us that live a moderately cosmopolitan life, you know as well as I do that $95 is no big deal. The other night, I easily eat practically $95 worth of sushi.
Someone on the MySpace message board actually suggested that $95 should include an open bar. Otherwise, she ain't going. Well, Stephanie, we'll miss you, your trash husband and your Fetal Alcohol Syndrome rugrats!
UPDATE: Okay, I feel like you deserve to know more about Stephanie the Complainer. She doesn't want to pay the $95. I wonder who the hell she actually is. Well, this is her "About Me" on MySpace...
I am happily married to my Highschool sweetheart. Most of you know Jeff aka "Chonce" from our graduating class. Yes we actually made it through and had two great kids along the way. We have been married for 4 years. We are lucky to have a son & daughter, so we are offically done having kids (thank God that is over with). Kaitlyn age 7 and Tyler age 3. We are currently living in the Santa Clarita Valley. We both work Full-time and support our childrens Daycare Habits. :) For those of you who work and have kids know what I'm talking about. Jeff would be would be out riding his dirtbike every weekend if time permitted. For me I like to hang out and scrapbook in my free-time. My sister just recently had a baby so I am enjoying being an Aunt.Do we start with her 4 year marriage and 7 year old daughter? Or scrapbooking compulsion?
Thursday, May 11, 2006
A Scandal I Can Be Part Of...
I've found it. My connection to scandal. I've always wanted to be part of a scandal. I was a little heartbroken that I was left out of the Catholic Church Sex-Abuse Scandal. 27 years in the church and I've only had one priest come on to me... 3 weeks ago. I was barely french kissing when Monica Lewinsky was giving the "head" of state. And I've never paid to play, with a congressman or at Slammer. But talking to Damian today, I realized I have a connection with the NSA listening scandal. Okay, I'm a pretty crappy listener, unless we're talking about me. And by "we're talking about me," I mean unless I'm talking about me. And really, even I don't want to listen to that. I just want to do that.
See, when I was a kid, my dad worked at the National Security Agency. I bet since leaving the Agency, they've had a close eye on the Davis family. You know how it is, just when you try to leave, they suck you back in.
No, not you Miss Lewinsky. Go back to your purses.
We lived a few miles from the NSA headquarters on Fort Meade in Maryland. Probably half of my friends had parents that worked at NSA. My friend Eric's mother was a translator. She fluently spoke 8 languages. My friend Jonathan's dad was an analyst. Am I releasing valuable government secrets? Does this qualify me for a job in Dick Cheney's office?Well, my dad had a very important job at NSA, and it was one of the few public jobs. He ran the cafeteria. Basically, he was the "Chef" of NSA. Except less black. And less crazy Scientologisty. And if you saw the last episode of South Park with Chef, less child molestery.
Okay, my dad didn't work for NSA. He worked for a contract food service company. And he was at NSA for like a year. And he spent most of that year scooping out creamed corn to bitter goverment workers waiting for their pensions to mature.
But still, basically, I spied on you last night. And you should be ashamed you dirty little whore.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Date Night... and I've Got Coupons!
So tomorrow night, Thursday, I'll be out on the town. The new friend and I are going to see a movie. Fear not, we are bringing along our lesbian chaperone. She'll make sure both of us are perfect gentlemen and that we move into together before the night is over. Just another lesbian doing her job.
We're going to see a screening. A free screening. I invited him to a free screening... and not even a hot celebrity packed screening but a public affairs screening with a bunch of governmenty types. Nothing says Hollywood glamour like coupon night at the studio with a lesbo in tow.
Fortunately, I'm a little smitten, he's adorable and funny, and I've had a blast thus far. And I actually love the lezzie, too. But don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my rep!
If things go well, I'll tell you all on Friday. If they go shitty, you'll know Thursday night. Tune in to the 11 o'clock news.
We're going to see a screening. A free screening. I invited him to a free screening... and not even a hot celebrity packed screening but a public affairs screening with a bunch of governmenty types. Nothing says Hollywood glamour like coupon night at the studio with a lesbo in tow.
Fortunately, I'm a little smitten, he's adorable and funny, and I've had a blast thus far. And I actually love the lezzie, too. But don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my rep!
If things go well, I'll tell you all on Friday. If they go shitty, you'll know Thursday night. Tune in to the 11 o'clock news.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Shit, I'm funny.
This took years to realize. My brother is pretty funny. Well, actually he's witty. And mean. Growing up it was hard to feel funny because a) my brother always seemed funnier b) especially compared to my sense of humor which was always 7 years behind his.People tell me I'm funny. I swear. I've been out a few times recently with a nice young gentleman who says I'm funny. And gorgeous. And rich. And built like a brick shithouse. (Note to lonely gay friends: Hang outside of the Braille Institute on Vermont. It's a proven fact that cripples are disproportionately gay, probably a result of their parents trying to self-abort at some point during gestation. The Brailies are clearly good boyfriends. Great for the self-esteem.)
Now, of course, he's only known me a few weeks so he gets to see Brian when he's on. But so far, he's convinced. Or just high, a distinct possibility.
His opinion of me is relatively immaterial in the scheme of things because it will always be less than my opinion of myself. And I am funny as shit.
I am probably one of the few bloggers to do this, but let me steal my own comment off of Rick's awesome blog, Mondo-Ricko. The post was about the RRRROSAS lady in West Hollywood.
I always imagined that during the day, she's like a stockbroker or trial lawyer. That she lives in this fabulous house in the Palisades and does the rosas things to stay connected to the gays because her first husband, the love of her life, was a closeted homosexual who died of AIDS in 1986 before being able to be honest about himself with her.
Turns out that she's actually only 3'9" tall. (She wear lifts in her shoes.) Suffers from a crippling case of diabetes. Sleeps in Allen's closet and lives off the scraps that she wrestles away from the cats. Hidden in her rosas are small pieces of papers with notes that she's hoping someone will pass on to the authorties so she can be freed from her miserable life in slavery. Unfortunately, the stupid fags always throw their rosas away, or leave them behind in the bathroom, before ever discovering the notes.
Now that's funny right? Hopefully the new fellow will think so, especially when I use it one night on a date, and he thinks it's totally spontaneous.
Of course, I'm such an egomaniac that I've already told him about the blog, and I am pretty sure he reads it regularly, so I probably won't be able to pull this one off. At least he's cute!
PS: The photo is demonstration of the high-quality of my sense of humor.
Things You Just Can't Be
There are certain things you can't be no matter how often you say it. For example, I can not:
Be the quiet one in a group.
Be happy to see anyone at 5:00 AM.
Be happy to see you at any time!
And you can not be... wait for it... a socially liberal, fiscal conservative.
"Sure, I can," you say.
"My ass, you can," I say.
"What a nice ass it is," you say.
"My ass may be cherry, but your ass is a Bush-Cheney Republican. Deal with it," I say.
See, being liberal isn't just about letting you get high, fuck as many girls as you want, impregnate them and letting them get all the abortions they want, then deciding to fuck asses so that you can live abortion-guilt free. That's what being a Budhist is about. Being liberal is about recognizing that there are good things about society and bad things, and that working together, we can fix those bad things. Being liberal is about recognizing that working together towards the collective good can accomplish positive change; that one needn't pull oneself up by their bootstraps because it's pretty likely one doesn't even have boots.
Today, another annoying co-worker I have yet to introduce you to, went on a rant about being socially liberal and fiscally conservative. The problem is that being socially liberal costs money and fiscal conservatives won't come up with it. Public schools cost money. Universal health coverage costs money. Job training, child care, and sex ed programs cost money. Shelters and transitional living centers and affordable housing cost money. You can't say you support something if you won't pay for it.
To my friends who plead the SLFC party-line, I offer you this.
1) You are really just a slut who want to protect your size 4 body from an unwanted pregnancy as much as you want to protect your filthy-rich grandmother's country home from the estate tax.
2) You are wracked with guilt because while you support violent, bloody military intervention in foreign lands, you still love a fabulous night of Sour Apple Martinis and fags fawning over your new Dolce & Gabana t-shirt and jeans.
3) You are a closeted bleeding heart who married rich and needs to continue putting it on thick until your racist father-in-law finally dies.
4) You are so busy shooting up heroin, fucking gay prostitutes, downloading kiddie porn, drinking moonshine, hiring illegal Mexicans to clean your house and mow your lawn, selling pot to Junior High kids, and preforming abortions on your Taiwenese sex slaves that the only chance of people not catching on to your ways is to run for re-election as the Republican Senator from Rhode Island.
There is more to being liberal than gay rights, abortion, gun control and clean air. These are all important liberal issues, but they aren't the end all, be all. If you think a tax cut for the richest 1% is more important than quality public education, universal health care, human rights, or, I'll just say it, your brother's right to wedding registry, than you are a facist Republican! The only kind!
Be the quiet one in a group.
Be happy to see anyone at 5:00 AM.
Be happy to see you at any time!
And you can not be... wait for it... a socially liberal, fiscal conservative.
"Sure, I can," you say.
"My ass, you can," I say.
"What a nice ass it is," you say.
"My ass may be cherry, but your ass is a Bush-Cheney Republican. Deal with it," I say.
See, being liberal isn't just about letting you get high, fuck as many girls as you want, impregnate them and letting them get all the abortions they want, then deciding to fuck asses so that you can live abortion-guilt free. That's what being a Budhist is about. Being liberal is about recognizing that there are good things about society and bad things, and that working together, we can fix those bad things. Being liberal is about recognizing that working together towards the collective good can accomplish positive change; that one needn't pull oneself up by their bootstraps because it's pretty likely one doesn't even have boots.
Today, another annoying co-worker I have yet to introduce you to, went on a rant about being socially liberal and fiscally conservative. The problem is that being socially liberal costs money and fiscal conservatives won't come up with it. Public schools cost money. Universal health coverage costs money. Job training, child care, and sex ed programs cost money. Shelters and transitional living centers and affordable housing cost money. You can't say you support something if you won't pay for it.
Dear MBNA,See, stupid, right?
I respectfully write to you today to endorse your efforts at collecting my unpaid credit card balance. I truly believe you are engaged in noble work. Credit Card companies are doing a lot of good. I will stand along side with you any day. As for that check you keep talking about, stop being a communist! You'll never get a penny from me, unless you pry it from cold dead hands.
xoxo, Bri
To my friends who plead the SLFC party-line, I offer you this.
1) You are really just a slut who want to protect your size 4 body from an unwanted pregnancy as much as you want to protect your filthy-rich grandmother's country home from the estate tax.
2) You are wracked with guilt because while you support violent, bloody military intervention in foreign lands, you still love a fabulous night of Sour Apple Martinis and fags fawning over your new Dolce & Gabana t-shirt and jeans.
3) You are a closeted bleeding heart who married rich and needs to continue putting it on thick until your racist father-in-law finally dies.
4) You are so busy shooting up heroin, fucking gay prostitutes, downloading kiddie porn, drinking moonshine, hiring illegal Mexicans to clean your house and mow your lawn, selling pot to Junior High kids, and preforming abortions on your Taiwenese sex slaves that the only chance of people not catching on to your ways is to run for re-election as the Republican Senator from Rhode Island.
There is more to being liberal than gay rights, abortion, gun control and clean air. These are all important liberal issues, but they aren't the end all, be all. If you think a tax cut for the richest 1% is more important than quality public education, universal health care, human rights, or, I'll just say it, your brother's right to wedding registry, than you are a facist Republican! The only kind!
Nothing Less
Weekends give me a lot to write about on Mondays. This weekend more than others as I didn't do any diving. None. I did other... um... things.
Just kidding you pervs! I swear!
This past Saturday I attended a special Mass celebrating the 20th Anniversary of the Los Angeles Archdiocesan Ministry to Lesbian & Gay Catholics. "Ministry to what?," you may be asking. That's right. I said it. Gay Catholics.
The Mass was nice. It was held at Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood. It's a big, old church run by the Jesuits. It's a dirt poor congregation that is blessed with the intellectual greatness of a Jesuit community. It was concelebrated by almost 10 priests -- including a certain "stockbroker" that I know better than I would hope. The music was decent and the energy was victorious.
It's Easter season. I love Easter. The idea of resurrection, essential to Christian philosophy, is one of the most fulfilling ideas in human existence. Rebirth frees us to not dwell on our failures, knowing they are irrelevant with time.
My parents came to this Mass with me. They are really special people. I don't mean "special" like retarded. Isn't it weird that when we say "special" these days, most minds quickly jump to, "Oh. He's retarded. That's sad."? They wanted to stay for the reception, but my mom is kind of a princess and doesn't eat food from foil containers on paper plates that don't match the table settings. (Clearly she's had little influence on me through the years.) We said our hellos and went to le petit Greek. Yummy lemon potatoes.
For years, friends ask me how I can still identify as Catholic. I want to say, after all the crappy sex I've had, I still identify as gay, right? Of course, they know that I haven't had all that much crappy sex (because sex with me is always good! right?) because I'm a good Catholic. Honestly.
I am still at home in the Church because its so deeply ingrained with my own identity. Whether it's my Irish Catholic grandparents and the stories of their lives -- even when my grandmother sued the church, or the mystery around both my parents earlier lives in religious orders, the truth is it runs deep in me. And I love Mass when I'm in a place that is home to me. This Mass was proof that it was home to me.
It a letter sent to recognize this special anniversary, Father Peter Luizi (who once ran the ministry for the Archbishop) summed up every reason why I go to Mass, pray, participate with the Gay and Lesbian Ministry, and endure the constant abuse coming from both conservative Catholics and my more liberal, non-religious peers:
Feel free to write me if you want to know more...
Just kidding you pervs! I swear!
This past Saturday I attended a special Mass celebrating the 20th Anniversary of the Los Angeles Archdiocesan Ministry to Lesbian & Gay Catholics. "Ministry to what?," you may be asking. That's right. I said it. Gay Catholics.
The Mass was nice. It was held at Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood. It's a big, old church run by the Jesuits. It's a dirt poor congregation that is blessed with the intellectual greatness of a Jesuit community. It was concelebrated by almost 10 priests -- including a certain "stockbroker" that I know better than I would hope. The music was decent and the energy was victorious.
It's Easter season. I love Easter. The idea of resurrection, essential to Christian philosophy, is one of the most fulfilling ideas in human existence. Rebirth frees us to not dwell on our failures, knowing they are irrelevant with time.
My parents came to this Mass with me. They are really special people. I don't mean "special" like retarded. Isn't it weird that when we say "special" these days, most minds quickly jump to, "Oh. He's retarded. That's sad."? They wanted to stay for the reception, but my mom is kind of a princess and doesn't eat food from foil containers on paper plates that don't match the table settings. (Clearly she's had little influence on me through the years.) We said our hellos and went to le petit Greek. Yummy lemon potatoes.
For years, friends ask me how I can still identify as Catholic. I want to say, after all the crappy sex I've had, I still identify as gay, right? Of course, they know that I haven't had all that much crappy sex (because sex with me is always good! right?) because I'm a good Catholic. Honestly.
I am still at home in the Church because its so deeply ingrained with my own identity. Whether it's my Irish Catholic grandparents and the stories of their lives -- even when my grandmother sued the church, or the mystery around both my parents earlier lives in religious orders, the truth is it runs deep in me. And I love Mass when I'm in a place that is home to me. This Mass was proof that it was home to me.
It a letter sent to recognize this special anniversary, Father Peter Luizi (who once ran the ministry for the Archbishop) summed up every reason why I go to Mass, pray, participate with the Gay and Lesbian Ministry, and endure the constant abuse coming from both conservative Catholics and my more liberal, non-religious peers:
I lay claim to all that is mine by my baptism; I do not ask for more and I will never settle for less.
Feel free to write me if you want to know more...
That's Messed Up!
The AWESOME driver's license photo has gone the way of Mandisa. I don't mean it's a big, FAT, homophobic has-been. I mean it's just gone. They made me retake my photo today. I'll let you know in 2 short weeks how it came out. I think my DMV agent used to work a Glamour Shots, so I'll likely look like a 240 Latina with big hair and a see-through rayon shirt trapped in 1991.
My big photo shoot wasn't the highlight of my trip to the DMV. "As the sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives..."
There was a nice gentleman being helped at the "window" next me to me. (These are really stations and not windows, but whatever keeps government workers happy keeps me happy. So windows it is.) He had a unique problem. Or at least I hope it was a unique problem.
He was in trouble with the law. Turns out his mother died a little while ago and when going through her things he found his birth certificate, with a day on it other than his birthday. His whole life, he had the wrong birthday. Ouch. So he got a new driver's license.
Oh, and he was in jail for 10 years before this all happened. And while he was in jail, he had a child support claim filed against him. They were persuing it on his license. I have no idea how that works and until a baby can be carried to term in a man's abdomen, I likely won't need to worry about it. You'll be happy to know he won the child support case recently.
Oh, and he got re-arrested a few months ago. And that's where trouble started. You see, our friend Nathan or Tyler -- depending on which license you look at -- has 4 IDs in 2 states with different address and birthdays. (Remember the birth certificate problem.)
This is why he was at the DMV. To "square things up."
Thank god for his supportive GIRLFRIEND! Yep, some crazy bitch stood by his side while he told this amazing web of stories. He has an f-ing girlfriend! Some bitch would get caught up in that? And I go home alone tonight to the roommates, the dog, and a mess in the kitchen. That'll I'll probably clean-up on my own.
My big photo shoot wasn't the highlight of my trip to the DMV. "As the sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives..."
There was a nice gentleman being helped at the "window" next me to me. (These are really stations and not windows, but whatever keeps government workers happy keeps me happy. So windows it is.) He had a unique problem. Or at least I hope it was a unique problem.
He was in trouble with the law. Turns out his mother died a little while ago and when going through her things he found his birth certificate, with a day on it other than his birthday. His whole life, he had the wrong birthday. Ouch. So he got a new driver's license.
Oh, and he was in jail for 10 years before this all happened. And while he was in jail, he had a child support claim filed against him. They were persuing it on his license. I have no idea how that works and until a baby can be carried to term in a man's abdomen, I likely won't need to worry about it. You'll be happy to know he won the child support case recently.
Oh, and he got re-arrested a few months ago. And that's where trouble started. You see, our friend Nathan or Tyler -- depending on which license you look at -- has 4 IDs in 2 states with different address and birthdays. (Remember the birth certificate problem.)
This is why he was at the DMV. To "square things up."
Thank god for his supportive GIRLFRIEND! Yep, some crazy bitch stood by his side while he told this amazing web of stories. He has an f-ing girlfriend! Some bitch would get caught up in that? And I go home alone tonight to the roommates, the dog, and a mess in the kitchen. That'll I'll probably clean-up on my own.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
End of an Era
Most people that know me also are fortunate to know:
1. That I am a fierce Democrat.
2. That I am a happy drunk who rarely remembers anything in the moring.
3. That I have the ABSOLUTELY best driver's license photo ever!
As of tomorrow, one of those will no longer be true.
On Thursday night, my wallet was violently stollen from me. And by "violently stolen," I mean quiet possibly slipped out of my pocket when I wasn't paying attention. But stolen is much more likely. Definately stolen.
Included along with my Disneyland annual pass, my Costco card, and cash -- actual cash -- was my driver's license... with the AWESOME photo. I mean, I am hot in this photo. Seriously, I'm hot in this photo.
Oh, and in this photo, I had just turned 18. There's no way the DMV really wants people with hot 18 year old photos on them.
I am going to the DMV tomorrow to replace my license. And I know those facists will make me re-take my photo. Thank god I'm still hot!
1. That I am a fierce Democrat.
2. That I am a happy drunk who rarely remembers anything in the moring.
3. That I have the ABSOLUTELY best driver's license photo ever!
As of tomorrow, one of those will no longer be true.
On Thursday night, my wallet was violently stollen from me. And by "violently stolen," I mean quiet possibly slipped out of my pocket when I wasn't paying attention. But stolen is much more likely. Definately stolen.Included along with my Disneyland annual pass, my Costco card, and cash -- actual cash -- was my driver's license... with the AWESOME photo. I mean, I am hot in this photo. Seriously, I'm hot in this photo.
Oh, and in this photo, I had just turned 18. There's no way the DMV really wants people with hot 18 year old photos on them.
I am going to the DMV tomorrow to replace my license. And I know those facists will make me re-take my photo. Thank god I'm still hot!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Easier to Anhillate the Tribe than its Leader*
Drudge is running a big lesbo headline this afternoon. The actually article -- a report on an upcoming interview with Dick Cheney -- is actually quite light on the girl-on-girl, but Drudge knows what get's his readers all a twitter. Drudge reports:
This isn't meant as a love letter to either Cheney. I hate Mary Cheney because she puts tax cuts before equal justice under the law. I hate her father because... well, he just scares me. But it does show that they are both human... well, human-esque.
*Not that I'm saying Mary Cheney is a Big Gay Leader. Granted, she tried to get a lot of us drunk while working at Coors, but that a Big Gay Leader doesn't make.
In her new memoir, NOW IT'S MY TURN(Simon & Schuster/Threshold Editions, 2006), Mary Cheney writes that when she told her parents she was gay, the first words out of her father’s mouth “were exactly the ones that I wanted to hear: ‘You’re my daughter, and I love you, and I just want you to be happy.’”Proves my point that its hard to hate someone you know, especially someone you spawned. This is why coming out is so important. People's opinions of the sodomites and ... what do we call lesbians? ... change dramatically when they realize they are already friends with one, work with one, their doctor is one, their child is one -- especially their filthy rich, conservative mouthpiece child.
VANITY FAIR editor Todd Purdum reports that Mary Cheney tells her story in a voice very much like her father’s, and that she came out to her parents when she was a junior in high school, on a day when, after breaking up with her first girlfriend, she skipped school, ran a red light, and crashed the family car. Cheney writes that her mother hugged her, but then burst into tears, worried that she would face a life of pain and prejudice.
This isn't meant as a love letter to either Cheney. I hate Mary Cheney because she puts tax cuts before equal justice under the law. I hate her father because... well, he just scares me. But it does show that they are both human... well, human-esque.
*Not that I'm saying Mary Cheney is a Big Gay Leader. Granted, she tried to get a lot of us drunk while working at Coors, but that a Big Gay Leader doesn't make.
Monday, May 01, 2006
2.01 Days!
According to the CEO Pay Calculator on the Make Work Pay web site, it would take the average Top 500 CEO 2.01 days to make my ANNUAL SALARY! It takes me 250 days of writing blog entries, chatting with Brooke and Damian, having lunch with Chris, and scouring Daily Kos to find things like the Make Work Pay web site to do what a CEO can do in 2.01 days!
I thought I'd share this with you because today is May Day. While Angelenos are focused on the Day Without Immigants boycott, the rest of the world is celebrating a holiday that was created in Chicago and quickly dumped by the US. This is Labor Day. Today is the anniversary of the creation of the 8 hour work day -- which has grown to the 9, 10 or 12 hour work day.
I've avoided politics for several weeks, but today, I'm gonna hit you full force. I say that a lot of things are important. I think Marriage Equality is important. I think Choice is important. But really, what is most critical, I think, is a respect for work. Our culture is slowly devaluing a lot of things -- but nothing more than work. Bitch all you want about the sanctity of marriage, what about the sanctity of labor?
Conservatives talk about "freedom" and all the "men who've died fighting for our freedom." What about the millions who have died throughout the world for the right to work and be paid fairly?
Labor unions have become bureaucratic messes that blow millions of dollars on needless political campaigns (like the LA Mayor's race in 2005 featuring two solidly pro-labor candidates) but let's not forget that it was the union movement that created the 8-hour workday, the weekend, ended child labor, pushed for quality education and health care, and secured the retirements of my grandparents. Today's needs may be different, but we all should respect organized labor and the rights of the worker.
I am excited about many of the changes in the works. Andy Stern's SEIU is being bold, having split from the AFL-CIO because he believes they don't focus enough on organizing and collective bargaining. The newly created Change to Win Coalition is innovative and creative. Check them out. Find out how long you'd have to work as a CEO to make your current salary. And next time you see a picket line, remember the May Day Riots in Chicago, thank those striking workers and find somewhere else to spend your money. May I suggest SeanCody.com (NSFW)!
I thought I'd share this with you because today is May Day. While Angelenos are focused on the Day Without Immigants boycott, the rest of the world is celebrating a holiday that was created in Chicago and quickly dumped by the US. This is Labor Day. Today is the anniversary of the creation of the 8 hour work day -- which has grown to the 9, 10 or 12 hour work day.
I've avoided politics for several weeks, but today, I'm gonna hit you full force. I say that a lot of things are important. I think Marriage Equality is important. I think Choice is important. But really, what is most critical, I think, is a respect for work. Our culture is slowly devaluing a lot of things -- but nothing more than work. Bitch all you want about the sanctity of marriage, what about the sanctity of labor?
Conservatives talk about "freedom" and all the "men who've died fighting for our freedom." What about the millions who have died throughout the world for the right to work and be paid fairly?
Labor unions have become bureaucratic messes that blow millions of dollars on needless political campaigns (like the LA Mayor's race in 2005 featuring two solidly pro-labor candidates) but let's not forget that it was the union movement that created the 8-hour workday, the weekend, ended child labor, pushed for quality education and health care, and secured the retirements of my grandparents. Today's needs may be different, but we all should respect organized labor and the rights of the worker.
I am excited about many of the changes in the works. Andy Stern's SEIU is being bold, having split from the AFL-CIO because he believes they don't focus enough on organizing and collective bargaining. The newly created Change to Win Coalition is innovative and creative. Check them out. Find out how long you'd have to work as a CEO to make your current salary. And next time you see a picket line, remember the May Day Riots in Chicago, thank those striking workers and find somewhere else to spend your money. May I suggest SeanCody.com (NSFW)!
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