That's Messed Up!

The AWESOME driver's license photo has gone the way of Mandisa. I don't mean it's a big, FAT, homophobic has-been. I mean it's just gone. They made me retake my photo today. I'll let you know in 2 short weeks how it came out. I think my DMV agent used to work a Glamour Shots, so I'll likely look like a 240 Latina with big hair and a see-through rayon shirt trapped in 1991.

My big photo shoot wasn't the highlight of my trip to the DMV. "As the sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives..."

There was a nice gentleman being helped at the "window" next me to me. (These are really stations and not windows, but whatever keeps government workers happy keeps me happy. So windows it is.) He had a unique problem. Or at least I hope it was a unique problem.

He was in trouble with the law. Turns out his mother died a little while ago and when going through her things he found his birth certificate, with a day on it other than his birthday. His whole life, he had the wrong birthday. Ouch. So he got a new driver's license.

Oh, and he was in jail for 10 years before this all happened. And while he was in jail, he had a child support claim filed against him. They were persuing it on his license. I have no idea how that works and until a baby can be carried to term in a man's abdomen, I likely won't need to worry about it. You'll be happy to know he won the child support case recently.

Oh, and he got re-arrested a few months ago. And that's where trouble started. You see, our friend Nathan or Tyler -- depending on which license you look at -- has 4 IDs in 2 states with different address and birthdays. (Remember the birth certificate problem.)

This is why he was at the DMV. To "square things up."

Thank god for his supportive GIRLFRIEND! Yep, some crazy bitch stood by his side while he told this amazing web of stories. He has an f-ing girlfriend! Some bitch would get caught up in that? And I go home alone tonight to the roommates, the dog, and a mess in the kitchen. That'll I'll probably clean-up on my own.