My Gay Date with Tom Cruise

Well, the readers have asked. So here is last night's recap.

I went out last night with the new friend and his super-cool lesbian friend. Yes, I know, I just called a lesbian super-cool. There's a first time for everything. Well, not everything. There's not gonna be a first time for that. I promise. Stop asking. I won't do it. Amy, that's nasty!

We met at her house after work. I got there a little early, because you know, I get everywhere early. I sat in my car and started Brian's Big Voter Guide for the June election. (Don't worry, I'll be sure to post it on the blog and email it out to anyone who asks.) They pulled up and I met them. We went inside and took care of some things.

I got a fashion show from the friend. It seems he works at a university and today is graduation day. He was very excited about the suit he got for the day. It fit wonderfully and was bought off the rack. Pretty amazing skill if you ask me. Plus, he looked hot in it. Something about a suit, I guess.

Shortly there after, we got in the car and headed to the studio. After handing over our papers and subjecting ourselves to a body cavity search, we passed Paramount security. Strangely enough, the guard recognized me from the YEARS ago that I worked on the lot. I must have a very familiar looking body cavity.

Here's when we get to the best part. Snacks! I made a little bit of an ass of myself knocking people over on my way to cupcakes. Brian loves some cupcakes. With a mouth full of chocolatey goodness, I ran into 2 former scuba students. 2 VERY gay former scuba students. They kind of creeped me out because I think they are all closeted and all. Yuck.

We hit the buffet line a couple times. Honestly, it was the weirdest mix of food I'd ever seen. Asian-inspired salads and spring rolls, an Italian pasta dish, wontonish things, and rolls. We were seeing a screening of Mission: Impossible 3, and apparently it was theme food. I never get that kind of stuff.

The film was a little crazy. Way too fast. Running running running for the entire legnth of the movie. It felt like it was only about an hour long when it reality over 2 hours had passed. I guess that's a good thing.

I kind of wanted to just sit there and make out with the friend the whole time, but we did have our chaperone, and we were sitting in the middle of crowded theatre at a Public Affairs department screening. But who cares, right? Alas, it would have to wait.

We went back to the Sapho House and chilled. We watched a little Wondershowzen -- this episode was all about patience, and to test your patience, the episode was only 15 minutes long versus the typical 30 minutes. For the second half, they just played the entire first half again -- but backwards. Then I said good-bye, stopped by the Catholic Church on the way home and said 10 Hail Mary's, and cuddled into my own bed.

That's my night.