MySpace is a frustrating phenomenon. For the voyeur's out there like me, it's a hoot. I get to pry into the lives of total strangers and remind myself how much better of a person I am than they are. At the same time, I become frustrated with how horrible of a world really is.
I submit the following examples of how MySpace -- and not gay marriage, thank you very much -- is destroying society.
Exhibit A: Posting nude or near nude photos of oneself online. Leave it to the professionals people. You will, one day, regret showing your nipple ring or tighty-whitie-covered package to the likes of pedophiles, bored secretaries, your boss's teenage daughter, and your Catholic priest (one of these things is a lot like the other).
Exhibit B: My favorite part is clearly the photos. I love seeing where people have been and what they've done while there and what they thought was derserving of the Interwebs. But, when you travel the world, and decide the only thing worth posing on your profile is your picture in some tragic old world gay disco, you needn't label it, "Me. Milan 2005" Save the super-cool locations for when you are doing something unique to that region. You can go to a gay bar in Riverside. I wouldn't, but theoretically, you could.
Exhibit C: I feel a little old using MySpace. I am 27 after all. I know, I know, I barely look a day over 23. But if I am too old at 27, this guy is clearly too old at 63. And he's way to old to use a MySpace name such as "liketokiss." And he's way too old to have the friends that he has. Seriously, check them out.People, he's wearing sunglasses on a string! If you wear sunglasses on a string, you should not, I repeat, should not have a MySpace profile. Unless you are a Catholic priest. (Is that really my second priestly pedophile reference in one post?) In a 250 mile radius of my house, I found 88 men between the ages of 60 and 65 on OldSpace. (I had to stop at 65 because I am sure there are tons of "fakes" saying they are 69, thus screwing with the scientific nature of my research.)
This is my thesis: We are nasty, nasty people. God was probably on the right track with that whole flood thing. But MySpace isn't the actual problem -- like gay marriage -- but rather, it's a reflection of what a horrible, vapid, and senseless people we are!
If 63 year-old "likestokiss" can get a bunch of nakedy ladies to call him a "friend" then maybe there's no point to save society. What do you think?
1 comment:
Makes me feel EVEN better about not being a myspace member.
Although, I wonder what my name would be?...Almost makes me want to join. Then again, Lance Armstrong almost makes me want to ride the Tour de France. I still don't own a bike.
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