Evite, will you marry me?

I love evite. Being an early adopter, I've been eviting people parties for years. The site is a lot more fancy but let me list all the things I love about evite:

1) If I forget to invite someone, I can just add them later and they'll never know they weren't on the original list.

2) The competition for best snarky RSVP comment is intense, often better than the Olympics.

3) As a guest, you can pre-judge the party potential and see if any frienemies will be in attendance.

4) A little geeky, but you can easily save all your parties into Outlook, which then easily sync to the PDA. This is important if you have the Hollywood A-Lister party schedule that I do.

5) I can constantly try to leave the most f-ed up invite text ever, perhaps one day being invited to draft the text for a Presidential Innaugaration invitation. Judge for yourself my most recent evite text, written for my St. Patrick's Day Party:

In the 5th Century, a Welschman was sold into slavery and sent to Ireland. Once there, he quickly established an Internet porn site that's traffic quickly exceeded that of the greatest porn sites throughout all of Christian Europe. Young Patrick, now at the healm of a media empire, was confined to a wheel chair after a would-be assasin's bullet ripped through his spinal cord. Not to be deterred, Patrick rose up against his enemies -- painting half his face blue -- and invaded Germany. While there, he created a factory system to protect Jewish workers from the terror of the Nazi power, saving thousands of lives.

To honor this noble man, the Irish men and women of the world place wooden shoes outside their doors at night so magical woodland creatures can come in the night and fill them with beer. If you can chug your entire shoe without stumbling, you'll have seven years good luck. If not, you must carve a pumpkin with Patrick's image, dress up as a bunny and hide the pumpkin for children to find in the morning.

Since our wooden shoes are still at the cobbler, we needed to celebrate "Playa" style. So swing by the pad and prepare to make idol sacrfices before the St. Patrick's Day bikini models. Light snacks will be around, but don't come hungry for anything more than barley and hops.

And no, we won't be serving green beer because it creeps us out! Bring your own and drink it in shame, alone, in the bathroom. You'll likely end up there anyway!