Thursday, March 02, 2006

Best. News. Of. The. Day. Period.

Clay Aiken. The Gayken. Man he makes me happy.

Image hosting by PhotobucketNot that I'm into him at all. I hate music. He looks like Xandir from Drawn Together. And he oozes his "Christianity" all over everyone like we're former military hustlers. He's a frickin' hypocrite and so I'm loving all his "press."

First, there was the Green Beret who came out with details of a physical relationship with the Gayken. Then he gets sued by his fans for being a 'mo. And now, the Enquirer publishes web cam photos of him doing a faggy, saggy nippled striptease.

1) Just come out already. No one will care that you are gay. Entertainment figures need to get over their irrational fear of themselves. Honestly, 98% of America really doesn't think about you all that much any way.

2) If you want to stay in the closet, fine, but being in the closet doesn't mean you have to "be straight." Stop the masquerade. You don't have to constantly affirm your heterosexuality, because, frankly, no one is buyin' it.

3) If you are going to be in the closet and and insist on the straight charade, then stop cruisin' the 'net for gay sex. You'll only get burned. The type of people who are on the Internet looking for sex, aren't the type of people you can trust with your secret. That's what Scientology is for!

I would say that Clay is mentally challenged, engaging in this activity, but based on his Internet chat with his most recent trick, he's clearly 100% aware of reality:
Anonymous Homo: I like beeing "cool"
The Gayken: youre obviously a little disturbed because you think i am attractive!
Anonymous Homo: welllllllll
The Gayken: but.. we can work through that
Anonymous Homo: my glamourized hollywood image of you.....
The Gayken: oh.. so now that youve seen the real me...not as attractive anymore?
Anonymous Homo: you're cute

See, he knows you'd have to be "a little disturbed" to find the Gayken attractive.

Clay, get over yourself. Come out or go into the priesthood, but give up this manhunt. Honestly, I'm sick of hearing about you when we could be hearing more "Patrick Dempsey is gay" rumors.

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