Cruise People?

Are you cruise people? You know, the kind of person, who when planning the dream vacation, would choose a cruise. The kind of person who like the structure and rigor of pre-planned, provided-for activities. The kind of person who like buffets, unlimited food, midnight snacks and all-inclusive dining.

I am realizing that I am clearly not "cruise people." Is it wrong to judge those that are?

The War on Christmas

It seems that "Christmas" has been completely dropped from the end-of-the-year, wintery retail selling time. "Happy Holidays." "Seasons Greetings."

Retailers are shying away from that second holiest Christian holiday, opting for the more inclusive and less-Jesusy wishes. This is an outrage.

Actually, no. The outrage is that "real" live Christians are offended by the de-Christianizing of this overly commericial season. The holiday that is celebrated in America's shopping malls is the not birth of the Lord, but rather of the amortization of the American future. The credit card debt, the personal bankruptcies, the commericialization of the childhood mind: these are the reasons for the season.

Christians should celebrate the severing of ties between the birth of Jesus and the new Playstation 3.

Coats

Every time someone from Los Angeles moves to a colder climate, we have to hear about their need for coats. Last night, I came home about 10:00 PM and noticed that it was particularly cold. This opened my eyes to the fact that in Los Angeles, it does get cold enough to wear coats. Why don't we?

On my way in to work, I was thinking about mass transit and possibly moving somewhere where I could easily commute using public transportation. Then I realized that I'd need to wear a coat.

We Angelenos don't need coats because, in the winter, we don't spend a lot of time outside. We go from our homes to our cars to drive in to work alone, to the office and back to the car. We use artificial heat in all these places.

Shh... Don't tell anyone...

I'm a little bit of a voyeur. Not in the nasty sexy pary of the definition, just the prying, spying part. That's why I love to read blogs. It fun to found out what's going on in other people's lives, how you might handle the same situation, or laugh along with (or at) them.

I love hearing about Dan Renzi's (someone I would at least personally recognize on the street because of my teenage obsession with the Real World) crazy misadventures at job interviews. I always enjoy Rick's witty perspective on his crazy celebrity life. And recently, my heart has ached for AT over at Atomic Tumor. Sometimes, I catch myself telling friends stories off a blog like I really know the person it happened to.

But you know what I like as much as prying into other people's lives through their blogs? Finding out who is prying in to mine.

A little shout out to this weeks returning visitors from Abbotsford, BC, Anaheim, CA, Catonsville, MD, Columbus, OH, District Heights, MD, Lake Forest, CA, Long Beach, CA, Los Angeles, CA, Lowell, MA, Mandeville, LA, Nashville, TN, New York, NY, Northridge, CA, Rochester, NY, Roseville, CA, San Dimas, CA, Somerville, MA, and Worcester, MA.

I love you people because you care about me, and frankly, you should. I'm fucking awesome!

Marriage

I've written about marriage equality alot. It's an important issue to me and much of the gay community. Personally, I think it has less to do with actual marriage than with society's acceptance, tolerance, of our human condition. Gay men and women don't want to pushed aside as nuissance, or worse, as a subclass.

Yesterday, I was talking with co-worker, one of the few I really like and a genuine progressive in every sense of the word. She just returned from a trip to Israel and this ignited a conversation about the Israeli High Court's decision on same-sex marriage. (Side note: So far more progressive than the United States: Netherlands, Denmark, Spain, Canada, England, Israel, and friggin' South Africa!)

I observed how frightening that the ultra-orthodox Jewish and Islamic leaders (and even a few Christian figures) could set aside their differences to hate the gays, opposing the effort by the mostly secular Israeli government to pursue fairness under the law.

My concern was immediately shuttled when she said that "Israel has more important things to worry about than marriage and the government shouldn't be concerned with this right now."

What's more important than equality? How can people settle a dispute about identity when its laws still allow the open discrimination and hostility to some sets of people? South Africa understood this when choosing recently to legalize same-sex unions -- they recognized that the once apartheid state could not seek a oneness of identity, black and white equal under the law, if they still allowed for codified discrimination.

Unfortunately, the twit at work thinks that you can do things in pieces. Ah, to "tradition!"...



PS: Damian and Chris, I can't help but think back to when y'all (plus Blair and my old roommate) helped prepare that dinner at the homeless shelter and we spent a few hours locked in the kitchen playing, "Tradition!"

Kick 'Em Out

This past Sunday, I joined my brother, nephew and a friend at the San Diego Chargers game. I'm splitting some season tickets with my other brother, dad, and friends and this was my 3rd or 4th game this season.

It's been an exciting season. The Chargers are doing well, leading the AFC West. The games have remained exciting and suspenseful. Oh, and after 28 years, I finally learned most of the rules of football. I finally understand the game.

I do not, however, understand the stadium beer sales rules.

Especially when the raiders play.

Apparently, Raiders fans have a little bit of a reputation for unruliness. For the first time, we saw mounted police officers. They must have been helping enforcing beer rules that limited sales to one beer per person per purchase. Typically, it's at least 2 beers. Beer sales were stopped at half-time. Typically, you have about an extra 45 minutes, through the end of the 3rd quarter, to buy beer.

Is this really justified?

Well, we saw a man get his nose broken in a fight in our section. That same fight sent a man down 5 or 6 rows of seats and resulted in the arrest of about 6 people. We saw another man fall over the railing into one of the tunnels, about 10 feet. By fall, of course I mean he was thrown. Or chased.

Clearly there is a problem with Raiders fans. What happens if a few teams in the league just refused to play them? Why should owners face the potential loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars in beer sales just because a team's fans have demonstrated a total inability to be civil?

And who ever thought I would ever blog this much about football?

This Short Life

As should be expected, Thanksgiving weekend involves shopping, relaxation, too much family, and Christmas decorations. My house hasn't gotten hit -- mostly because the most crafty roommate is traveling and the crack-head one is out the door this week -- but my brother's house isn't as lucky. We spent much of today decorating, including the exterior lights.

Brother's house is tall, 3 stories and gabled and all. After what seemed a few hours, we realized that the only adequate display would require a feat of great heights -- a trip to the upper roofs.

Of course, the sniveling bro decided that he was afraid of heights and wouldn't go out on the roof near the 3rd floor. Finally, I took the bull by the horns and took action. I crawled out the third story window on to the short and steep tiled roof to have the living shit scared out of me!

I've never been afraid of heights but it took me about 15 minutes that far up -- without a net or rope or much of anything to hold on to -- for me to totally give up! My heart was racing. My legs were weak. Apparently, I'm afraid of heights!

Gay-munition

I've given a lot of thought to my moti-gay-tions recently, probably inspired by a day of post-Thanksgiving shopping. What about the fairer sex has scared me off for 28 years? Sure, this might not be the most progressive approach to my sexuality, but am I gay because of an attraction to men, or I strong aversion to women?

This might be why gay men get a reputation for sexism; I don't think I'm sexist. I certainly think that as a whole the females of our species are far superior to the males, but there are certain traits of women that help reinforce my homosexuality. These are the gay-munition that have created this monster:

• Women will pay with exact change, slowing down the line, annoying the sales rep, and taking away valuable time from my shorter-now life. Men never carry or pay with change. We are more likely to throw change on the street than to count out exact change. Who am I kidding, we use plastic almost exclusively these days.

• Side fat. Obesity disturbs me but I've never been bothered by people who are a little "fuller." However, when women (mostly young women) wear snug, low-rise jeans and the side fat is squeeze out the top, that my friend is my limit. This is one of the most revolting parts of a woman's body.

... This list will be a work in progress but will avoid the obvious, you know, like the vagina.

Easier Reading: Introduction of Labels

Since Google owns Blogger, they've been making some fun little changes. One was the addition of "labels." At the end of each post, I get to label them based on their subject matter. Check it out!

Good News vs. Bad News

How do you take your coffee?

Pretty much the same thing with news. My last post had a little cliffhanger attached to the end about my mood.

I had a job interview today. I hope I get the job. I also have a weird condition with my skin. I am extremely itchy, not sleeping it's so bad, but you can't see anything on my skin: no redness, no dryness, no scaling. The itching is painful and burning. This is my problem. I'll go to the doctor and hopefully things will be okay. Hopefully, I'll get the job. I even have a date tomorrow.

La vie boheme!

Well, I didn't get the job. I know. It's Monday and I've already heard back from them. Crazy shit! They called me on Saturday and gave me the nicest rejection possible. They are my new heroes. That's how I want to treat people from now on, honestly but kindly.

The skin stuff isn't a whole lot better. My sister-in-law suggested an anti-histmine and that doesn't seem to have solved the problem so I'm off to the doctor this week. It's made a little worse by the fact that I looked like a contestant in Fight Club. I fell down the stairs of the diveboat yesterday and am all black and blue and in a lot of pain. But, how do you take your coffee? How about with three spoonfulls of awesome diving with great visibility, some fun challenges and an enthusiastic class of students that brings tears to your eyes? Yep, even with the fall down the stairs, the day was amazing!

And the date? Awesome. Really swell guy with a lot to say. We did some fun things, but that's for another time. Everything happens for a reason. It may not be easy but you're almost always better for it.

This week's edition of This American Life told the story of a famous, popular, and successful evangelical Christian minister who had a change of heart and opened his mind to the "Gospel of Inclusion." He lost his pastors, most of his congregation, nearly all of his success, but he saved his soul. It was an inspiring hour that awoken the faith inside me. Check it out.

How do you measure a year?

One night this week, after fixing my closet and doubling its space, I was watching the film version of Rent. I have to say, I don't really like the movie. Spoken lines that were sung in the stage version gives the film an eerie tone, making it that much more sad. I wasn't a huge fan of the stage version, either. But it will always mean something to me.

Rent opened in 1996, during my last semester in high school. I wouldn't see it for about two years, but I read the press, I heard the news. It was a play about AIDS. And gays.

I was 17 years old and living in fear in the closet. Here was a huge play about gays. I had to see it.

Would I relate? Probably not. I was an upper-middle-class white kid from Saugus, California. I'd never done any drugs in my life. Had a few drinks but not many. Barely had ever had sex. This was a story about broke twenty-somethings living in Manhattan, kicking heroin, and living with AIDS. Wow.

I did finally see it. It spoke to me but differently than I had imagined it would. I guess it was like when a black kid of my generation read about the lynchings of the 20s and 30s. I mean, at the same time Rent premiered, so did protease inhibitors and retroviral treatments that slowed the progression of HIV. People really were living with AIDS.

In my 28 years, I've never had a friend, or even aquaintance that I knew well enough, die from AIDS. I know that's not true for other gay folks just 10 years older than me. Even just 5 years older than me. Unfortunately, I know more people that are HIV-positive than I would hope, but they are living and for the most part are indistinguishable from you or I.

AIDS has shaped my entire community, but not me. Rent reminds me of that. That show, that I don't really like, leaves an important image in my mind about what could have been. Had I been 5 years or 10 years older, had I experimented carelessly, had I not had the wisdom and love of a wonderful family, Rent could have been my story. This could have been my story.

Now we are fortunate as a community. We are getting to fight over things like marriage equality and open (and honest) service in the military. Ten years ago, we were trying to stay alive.

I had a job interview today. I hope I get the job. I also have a weird condition with my skin. I am extremely itchy, not sleeping it's so bad, but you can't see anything on my skin: no redness, no dryness, no scaling. The itching is painful and burning. This is my problem. I'll go to the doctor and hopefully things will be okay. Hopefully, I'll get the job. I even have a date tomorrow.

La vie boheme!

Good Times. All Around.

When I was in college and working at the water park during the summers, we used to have to communicate a lot with hand signals. Need a bottle of water from across the pool? Signal it. Need to take a pee? Signal it.

My friends and I had this silly little sign we used to either demonstrate how we felt, or to cheer someone up a little. The narrative was: "Good times, all around." The signal was two-fold. It started with a little clenched-fists-at-the-chest dancing, following by swinging your arms in a circl over your head. How could you see that and not smile?

Kind of like this video.



Jason of Jason's Room shared it today. Thanks Jason. I guess he's in a crumby place and needed something that just makes you smile. I don't know Jason -- sometimes reading blogs regularly you forget that you don't really know these people -- but I can tell something is up based on a recent post. I don't know what's wrong, but Jason, I've been there recently, and just getting out and living life and keeping perspective really helps. That and silly little hand gestures from your friends. Finding videos like this one helps, too! Good times. Good times.

Thou Shalt Laugh, Bitch!

Our friends over at the Pen15 Club told me about a new comedy DVD that came out on election day featuring my homegirl Patricia Heaton.

The DVD, from the producers of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, is called "Thou Shalt Laugh" and is a collection of "Christian" comedians dropping jokes. This is what they have to say about their DVD:

Who says Christians aren't funny? Today's most talented comedians are brought together on Thou Shalt Laugh, a hilarious stand-up comedy concert whose stars, producers and director are all Christians. Two time Emmy® Award-winning actress Patricia Heaton ( Everybody Loves Raymond) hosts this uproarious night of stand-up comedy from the producer of the enormously popular Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie. The line-up features seven world class comedians including Thor Ramsey, Michael Jr., Jeff Allen, Teresa Roberts Logan, Joby Saad, Gilbert Esquivel and Taylor Mason. If you are looking for funny, your prayers have been answered!

Some thoughts:

"Who says Christians aren't funny?" We don't say they aren't funny. We say they don't have a sense of humor. That's why they get their panties in a bunch over things like South Park, Borat, and the Daily Show. Oh, I guess we also say they aren't funny, that's why all their TV shows and films -- 7th Heaven, Highway to Heaven, Passion of the Christ -- all suck!

"a hilarious stand-up comedy concert whose stars, producers and director are all Christians" See, we allow a little discrimination for that Def Jam Comedy and the righties run with it. Poor Christians. Always in need of a little affirmative action.

"The line-up features seven world class comedians including Thor Ramsey..." He's done porn, right?

"...Michael Jr...." I barely get the one name thing in the first place. I'll give in for Cher, Madonna, and the Pope. But if you choose to only have one name, is it really legal to name your son after you?

"...Jeff Allen, Teresa Roberts Logan..." Two last names, Teresa? Sounds like a lesbian to me.

"...Joby Saad, Gilbert Esquivel..." When I worked on Rendez-View, Gilbert was one of the guest hosts who was paid to mock a dating couple, a couple who could potentially wed in the sacred act of matrimony. Gilbert was mocking the sanctity of marriage. Some Christian.

The Human Mind

Let's follow me through a thought from beginning to end:

For the past couple of weeks, my skin has been a little itchy. It's becoming really uncomfortable and I can't figure out why. Perhaps it's because of the Santa Ana winds that plague Southern California this time of year. But maybe it's also because I'm a little dehydrated. I haven't really been drinking enough water recently. How do I know this? Because I haven't been peeing as often.

Starting today, I'm drinking a lot more water. Consequently, I've already peed a number of times. All this peeing involves me undoing my pants more often. Under my pants, of course, is my underwear.

Do you know what bugs me? When the legs of my boxer briefs get all stretched out. By the end of the day, I'm basically wearing boxer shorts. I've been wearing boxer briefs for about 10 years now. Prior to that, I was a boxer man. These days, I'm starting to mix it up again, switching sides periodically. Mostly because I've fun some crazy fun boxers prints.

This is what I'm thinking of today. That and Mr. Pregnant. I'm getting a new roommate in a month and he sends me this link today. Check it out.

PS: Apparently this isn't the first time I've been totally pre-occupied by my own underwear.

Let's Party

I don't live close enough to many of you to get my party on with you. This makes me sad. So, I decided to bring the party to you with a little re-telling of one my Halloween outings this year. Thank you, photographer, for making this all possible.

---

I had to make some changes to my Halloween plans because of the split, so at the last minute I came up with a new costume idea. It was a little cerebral, but I liked it and that's all that matters. I went as Madonna. Not "Like a Virgin"-Madge or Sex-book-Madonna, but as recent mother-an-African-baby Madonna. Also known as that-baby-stealing-bitch-Madonna.

Here is Allen and I at our staging ground for my first Halloween party of 2006.



Allen is a "Bad Boy Scout." Our friend Amy is with us tonight, too. She's a naughty cop.



It's time to get this party started. Let's hit the road.



We met up with some other friends, including Dorothy, Mario, and Luigi, and we hit the party. It was all innocent enough. A quiet apartment party in Bev Hills.



Would you like to have a refreshing cocktail with us? We can even put it in one of these festive Halloween cups. Orange or black? Your choice.



The best part of a good party is the intellectual conversation. See, above you can see how engaged I am with my fellow party-goers.

Here, let me let my hair down and unwind a little.



I think that this is a really wonderful party. The libations are flowing and tasty. Oh, and there's cupcakes. Let me tell Allen about the cupcakes. Allen. ALLLEN! Come here.



You know, Allen is really annoying me. I think I'll take a little nap.



Much better. I feel so relaxed after I was so politely awakened. See.



Is it time to go, already? Okay, I'll head to the car.



Are you coming? Why are you taking so long?



Oh, Amy seems to be distracted by the police car that has arrived. That's what's keeping you.



Well, if you are going to be a while, I think there is something I should take care of.



Now, can we leave already? Dorothy and I are ready and Dorothy and Madonna basically run everything for the gays.



You just don't understand how long of a ride home it is from Bev Hills. It's really, really long.



But finally, we reached the house. It was a very long walk from the car to the door, but Madonna did it fabulously nonetheless.



Waiting for elevators can be an enchanting experience with good company.



Especially when after a long night, the company looks as good as this.



Alas, it's time to find the apartment, but what's this? Is there another party going on in the buidling?



I guess we'll have to make an appearance!

Speaker Fucking Pelosi!

That's all I got! xoxo

Perspective.

I want you to know I'm okay. Apparently, I'm bouyant. (Thanks JenMac.) And she assures me that doesn't mean I'm fat.

I believe in the power of perspective. Somewhere, someone has conquered a struggle far greater than your own.

Yesterday was a yucky day, but it was nothing that a Monday night of baking Election Day cupcakes and watching cheesy television couldn't fix. Today is better. And there is always tomorrow, what awaits me?

In a under 2 weeks, a trip to Curacao awaits me. It's sudden but it will be awesome. I'll provide full reports.

Life is worth living. But what makes someone think it isn't? When I need a break, I watch movie trailers on apple.com. Today, I saw a trailer for a new documentary called the Bridge. Watch it.

Why? How can it be that bad? What can I do to help those who think that the Bridge is their only option?

Seriously, she said it.

Dear, dear friend who hates me so:

Tweetie gh: how's doin'?
BDavisdotcom: shitty, but alive so I guess thats good!
Tweetie gh: it is good- and it will get better. you have always been the bouyant type.
BDavisdotcom: did you just call me fat?

Friends Possible?

It's been just over a week since the break-up. Sure, it's not as monumental as Diana and Charles, but for me, it's still big. I think I'm handling it well. Blogging helps. Blogging allows me to think out my feelings.

Of course, you might be thinking that I've only done one post and one mention. Not true. I've written more. I've just had the sense to delete other posts before they were published.

I just can't wrap my head around it at times.

I am a brutally honest and up-front person. I'm an open book. When I have to shit, I say, "I have to shit." When I'm horny, I say, "I need to get laid." I rarely concern myself with timing or appropriateness. Who cares that I'm in a church or chatting with a friends grandma. If I got to poop, then I got to poop. Afterall, everyone poops.

I'm also horribly inpatient. I want answers now. I want to do things now. I might be dead in 15 minutes, so there's no point in waiting. Hell, I want to poop now. I'd hate to die from a blocked up colon.

Here's the dilemma. These factors create a situation in which I am becoming more and more angry with the ex each day.

I'm not holding out hope that we'll get back together. After giving me his reason, there's no way. He picked the one non-negotiable that hurts my feelings, is unchangeable, and not my fault. There's no fixing or changing on my end. I just need to be content with who I am and move on. And I think I am ready.

His reason for the break-up, while iniatially brutal, also helped me realize my own self-worth and recognize his weaknesses, his failings, as a boyfriend. While up until the minute the words came from his mouth I saw a bright future, his feelings quickly framed everything. The epiphany that followed a couple days later, that dumping me was both a very honest and real decision on his part and extremely opposed to his own personal best interest, set me up to "be friends."

That's what he wanted. That's why he said he made all those plans with me but wasn't lying to me. But his actions belie his words. How does this happen?

How do you stay friends with an ex?

Where does the friendship pick up?

For me, to protect my own ego, the friendship would rely on his initiation. I don't see that happening. Since dumping me, he hasn't initiated any contact. He seems content with just letting things fall where they are. That's not me. I'm a planner. A problem solver. And inpatient as hell.

I'm afraid that there is no future. Not unless he really wants to be friends and reaches out. And really, what future is that? I have a lot of friends. I have a great family. What is he bringing to the table that's unique and different besides heartache and disappointment?

Thanks for indulging me.

I'm a Problem Solver

Of all my traits, all the ways to describe me, I think I am most proud of being called a problem solver. Certainly it would be that I'm attractive, because we all know the truth on that one! :) I like that I am good at solving problems, even though sometimes my solutions are a little whacky and in hindsight not always the easiest way... Like Ernie... He got what he needed...