Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night

I am getting old. I mean, in a little over a year, Suzanne will be 30! What is happening to my world?

I do not like aging. I do not like "maturing," or at least I imagine I won't like it once I start. And more than these things, I hate realizing that I'm not 19 anymore.

Add in another stark reminder that I am slouching towards adulthood.*

The first was in November 2005 when I made my most recent move. Eighteen months prior, I moved from North Hollywood to a 3rd floor "servants quarters" apartment in Hancock Park. I was 24 years old at the time. I was greeted early in the morning by two friends who helped me load up the rented U-Haul. Upon our arrival at the new home, three more friends joined us and we had a regular moving party as we carryied everything up the crooked stair cases. The scene has been preformed about four other times in my life, as I moved from dorm to apartment to apartement. But November 2005 was different.

When I told my friends of my exciting move to a new part of town and into a great new house I got a lot of, "That's awesome. When's the housewarming?" My previous favorite, "Let me know if you need some help moving," didn't slip from anyone's lips. I was now 26. And I was on my own for the move. I had to hire a moving company. And pay them. I'm cheap. Getting old sucks.

Tonight I am leaving for another trip to Boston. I'm flying from LAX, which is preferred by me for a number of reasons, of which the biggest one is that I live about three miles from the airport. Three miles along quiet backroads on the less trafficked fringes of the airport. No freeways. Thank god it's close because the once frequent offer of rides to the airport have vanished. Once, a friend drove from her house in MidWilshire all the way to the aiport on the Westside, picked me up, and drove me home in Hancock Park... in the wee hours of the night! Now, my roommates won't take 15 minutes to drop me off and come home.

If this is getting old, I don't like it.

I realize that this is being part of an adult: being self-sustaining. It's difficult because if any of my friends asked for help moving, for an extra hand painting, or needed a ride to the airport, it's in my nature to volunteer. Quickly. But I understand that it isn't for most. Most people -- most adults -- recognize that you can pay movers, painters, or taxis to help you with these tasks and that often they are a bargain compared to the time and energy of busy friends.

I still don't like it.

Thank god I'll never actually turn 30. Like Suzanne.

*Slouching towards adulthood, fantastically stolen from the title of former Supreme Court Justice nominee Robert Bork's book Slouching Towards Gomorrah which was fantastically ripped off and parodied by America's favorite sex columnist Dan Savage in Skipping Towards Gomorrah.