Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Attacking the Arguments Against Same Sex Marriage

I am tired of hearing the same, simple-minded arguments against same-sex marriage that on their face are easy to discredit. Give me something real.

Today, former Bush-administration Solicitor General Ted Olson announced that he'll be co-counsel on Federal case about same-sex marriage. He is joining former rival David Boies, from the infamous Bush v. Gore case. On the blog where I read the story, some folks are arguing against same-sex marriage. Let's look at what they have to say:
Homosexual men can marry....women. Homosexual women can marry....men. How are they not equal to heterosexuals?
You are right! But how does that defend the sanctity of a 5,000 year-old institution. I can enter into a fully-legal godless, sexless, loveless marriage with a militant and promiscuous lesbian so that she can get my health insurance, but I can't marry a man I love? What purpose does civil marriage then serve?
If the people, as expressed by vote or legislature, decide to change the legal definition of marriage, then that is like other legal definitions. When a court changes definitions in violation of 3000 years of jurisprudence, that is tyranny, and the government will have chosen to devolve its legitimacy.
And yet, we survived when they did the very thing in 1967 in the Supreme Court case of Loving v. Virginia. Until that day, anti-miscegenation laws were on the books throughout the south banning interracial marriage. The vast majority of Southerners supported those laws and yet the Supreme Court invalidated them because they clearly violated the Constitution. And today, all rational people support the idea that race should not be a legal barrier to race.
Marriage has many aspects, but one essential factor is the ability, or at least the latent potential, for a male and a female to join together and produce children, whether it is actualizable potential or not. Produce children via sexual reproduction. A man can not EVER do this with another man, nor can a woman with another woman. CASE CLOSED.
Very true. This is why we don't allow post-menopausal senior citizens to marry. Or cancer survivors who were subjected to radiation treatment. Maybe we don't want marriage because I hear the mandatory fertility tests are quite onerous. This is just about the stupidest among stupid arguments, the least among lessers. Marriage is not about procreation and hasn't been since the advent of modern medicine. A state that demands procreative ability is a totalitarian state that should be feared.
Ted Olson has a broken logic switch in his brain. No one is telling homosexuals they can't get together and enjoy whatever perversities they want, it is just existentially impossible for a man to marry a man or a woman a woman. Ted Olson thinks King Canute was wrong! Stay out, tide! The physical laws of the universe don't apply, here!
Perversities. This is where their agruments truly lie. They hate us because we are different. They fear us because we are different. They are lazy parents who don't want to explain differences to their children. They are dangerous leaders who want to drive apart our civilization. They long for the days when man would lord over another man. Equality is profane to them.

If you have a better reason, then tell me!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

March TONIGHT!!

I really want you to march tonight. I want you to do everything you can to march tonight. I want you to leave work early, call out sick, or quit your job so you can march tonight. I want you to cancel plans or change them so you can march tonight. I want you to ask all of your friends and family to march tonight.

Taking to the streets will not change the election of November or the Supreme Court decision today. It won't give us marriage equality and fix a glaring hole in our experiment with democracy.

Marching also won't prohibit firing gay people just because they are gay in the 20 states where that is legal.

Marching won't extend the shield of the Hate Crimes Prevention Laws in the 19 states that don't protect sexual minorities.

Marching won't end the constant bullying that leads to a suicide rate among queer teens that is 3 times their straight peers.

Marching won't get you a date. (Okay, it just might!)

But it will send a message to California and the nation that the time is coming and dawn will break. Marching will tell the opponents of equality that we have you in our sights and will defeat you. Marching will show our elected leaders that we are serious about change, and that hope alone will no longer carry them to victory. Marching will bring you together with thousands of like minded individuals that need you by their side.

And tonight, during the 11:00 PM news, countless young, gay teenagers will tune in. They will see thousands of us walking in solidarity with them. One of those young teens might be a quiet young man from Woodmere, New York who will lead a city in finding its identity. (Harvey Milk) A young college student who feels so alone that he tried to kill himself might read about us in tomorrow's paper and know that he has a voice for a generation of gay men. (Larry Kramer) Or maybe a middle-class kid from the suburbs who secretly saves TIME Magazine issues with gay stories and scans MTV in the middle of the night to see if there are other gay people will see us on one of his favorite blogs. (Me!)

Please, come out tonight.

May 26: Black Tuesday

Today, the California Supreme Court issued its decision in the case about the constitutional validity of Proposition 8. The court made a Solomon's Decision, upholding the ban while maintaining that the marriages performed during those 5 months in 2008 are legal.

This is an issue that I am passionate about. And as the news unfolds today, I will have countless conversations with people about the decision. It will be difficult to comprehend my feelings on so many levels, but I want to preserve my thoughts from today.

So in a very meta blog post, I am going to copy some of the more important exchanges I have online today, including dialogs from Facebook postings.

Starting at 10:00 AM:

Brian Davis SHAME

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Christopher Cole Shame on California. I am so grateful that I now live in Connecticut.

Brian Davis Shame on me? No offense, but f*ck you. I worked hard and care passionately. Shame on the people that voted yes. Shame on leaders -- National (um... President Obama) and local (um... the entire weak-willed Democratic Caucus) who couldn't make this state a priority. Who couldn't demonstrate real leadership, and who live in an echo chamber where ... Read Morethey treated the No on 8 campaign like it was an HIV Prevention campaign. And shame on the people that don't live here acting like they are lucky to have their full rights under the law.

Every queer and queer loving American has an obligation to take to the streets and make sure that our rights don't take a backseat to Union membership drives, the right to choose, or the right to own a godd*mn gun. And not just today, but every day until there is real change and not just change for less than 3% of the country.

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Nicole C. Curran Sad day for CA, however there is so much more work to be done on all levels to fight for equality.

Brian DavisLike getting rid of the idiots that got us here in the first place... starting with our side.
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Lauran Huff is officially a member of a minority within a minority

Brian DavisI love you dearly and still find it revolting that California now has a third faction, a special class. The compromise is so not inspired by the law but appeasing voters that it is truly shameful.

However, if you decided to have kids and are looking for a Godfather, I am a good one with 4 godchildren already. Likely my only chance to be part of a legal queer family. :)

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Mckenna Poole Unbelievable. I'm ashamed to be a Californian.

Brian DavisLet's fix it! It's not our fault. It's the ignorant f*cktards on both sides who lost this for us. Let them eat cake, from the bottom of a basket.

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Brian Davis What to think of friends that post cute funny news articles at the moment that you are having your dignity stripped from you by the California Supreme Court? Oh yeah... MORONS!

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Christopher Cole to Brian Davis: Are you California, Mr. Davis? No offense taken, but I'm certainly not shaming the people, but the state, the institution that should stand for all, for equality, for justice

Brian DavisBe clear in who is too blame:

A weak progressive majority in Sacramento that has pulled out this issue just for campaign contributions.

A tonedeaf leadership in the queer community who are so far in the closet that they couldn't take a 30 year-old lesson about empowerment.

A intellectually uncurious community who throws millions to groups like HRC, GLAAD and Lorri Jean while Lambda Legal uses donated desks and does the real heavy lifting.

A president who took millions out of this state but didn't have the simple integrity to stand along side us in this fight.

A once-bold Supreme Court who once spoke out clearly on the side of justice, and yet seemed to pull together a decision based more on political popularity and job security (the lesson of Rose Bird) wrapped in the guise of the Constitution.

And a nation of queers who can't make a protest because they have dinner reservations.

But it's not the state of California's fault, and the responsibly spreads from sea to sea.

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Bruce McFarland If we want the population to wholeheartedly support marriage equality, voters need to make it clear that they support it. It shouldn’t be forced upon them by judges after Californians voted to remove the rights of some individuals. Let’s do it again, and this time, let’s make sure everyone joins the campaign for marriage equality. It’s a fight worth waging, and the victory at the ballot box will be sweeter.

Brian Davis Easy to say. Harder to type with that ring finger being weighted down.

We don't need the populations to "wholeheartedly support" marriage equality. We need the LAW to support it. As it should, and as our constitution dictates.

On May 15, 2008, the Supreme Court said denying marriage equality violated the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution. Today, the clause is in tact in the Constitution but somehow I am a second class citizen.

I don't need the voters to interpret the Constitution. We have a mechanism for that. And the Court should protect the minority that one year ago needed protection.

Many in some parts of the country still don't "wholeheartedly support" the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, or Affirmative Action programs. That doesn't make them any less the law.

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Brian Davis This is the way the law works in California, from Justice Carlos Moreno's dissenting opinion:

"The question before us is not whether the language inserted into the California Constitution by Proposition 8 discriminates against same-sex couples and denies them equal protection of the law; we already decided in the Marriage Cases that it does."

We have a constitution, which on it's face, discriminates.

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Nicole C. Curran CA Broke our hearts today, but gave us the strength to fight for equality. https://secure.couragecampaign.org/page/contribute/Fearless

Brian DavisIt's a great spot, but what is the Courage Campaign's actual media plan? Really? A 60-second spot? I really think this is a fundraising ploy. Which is fine, but I want to know what the money is going to be used for...

Equality California, Lorri Jean, and the whole No on 8 people did this to me once already!

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Andrew Lachman I hope to see everyone at Santa Monica & San Vicente today at 5

Eli Lipmen LipschultzI will be there in spirit.

Brian DavisWhy not in reality? Imagine if the Freedom Riders, the marchers in Selma, or those on the Capitol said, "Well, I have dinner plans" or "an important conference call." One more voice saying, "If not today, when?" and standing with their brothers and sisters will echo through history.

With the news cameras overhead, sending shots of tens of thousands instead of hundreds might get people to pay attention.

At the least, think of the quiet, gay 13 year old at home tonight in Bakersfield or San Bernadino. When he watches the news before closing his eyes, he'll know that others are marching for him.

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Brian Davis So this is what HOPE smells like? Where is some real CHANGE I can believe in? (NOTE: This is from almost 3 hours after the announcement. In almost 3 hours, Robert Gibbs didn't hear a peep about the decision from the President?)


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Megan Kakita Hirsch thinks it's time to move out of California...what's next, banning inter-racial marriages?

Brian DavisImagine if we had some national leader whose parents marriage would've been denied in most states, who could stand up and speak out on this issue?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Sanctity of Marriage, My A$%!



The Right has used the "sanctity of marriage," "a 5,000 year-old tradition," and all the bunk to deny equal rights to a significant population.

Britney Spears enters into a completely legal 50 hour marriage. Still sacred.

Rev. Ted Haggard does blow off a male hookers six-pack abs while the wifey sits at home knitting. Still sacred.

Very married Senator David Vitter comes up with his family values campaign strategy while diapered up by a DC madam. Still sacred.

Newt Gingrich serves his dying wife divorce papers in a hospital so he can shack up with his young new girlfriend. Still sacred.

Bill Clinton gets a blowjob in the Oval Office from a twenty-something intern, and he's ready to be on the frontlines "Defending Marriage."

This isn't institution, it's a business interest. A campaign issue for the Right, despite the very real impact on human lives. Our leaders in Washington treat it like a joke. At least some get that it's just a sophisticated game of volleyball, throwing around ideas and hoping one will land.

Now GOP "Leader" Michael Steele debunks all the sanctity and tradition by being brutally honest... it's all about the money. He's trying out the line that Same-sex Marriage will hurt small business because of the costs of benefits and family burdens. So, not only is he trying to deny gay Americans equal rights under the law, but now he wants to deny us equal pay for the work we do.

This was never about the holiness of marriage or preserving tradition. The Republican Party is preying on naive Americans and their fear of people that are different to win votes, power, and money.

Monday, February 02, 2009

How does evil happen?

I am watching another Nazi movie. This one is a few years older than the surplus we've seen come out over the past 2 months. (I still recommend you see Defiance, if only because it's a little different and my friend Troy worked on it.) Probably because they are supposed to, but I can't help think watching the film, "How does evil happen?"

Not bad, things. I firmly believe that sometimes, bad things just happen. Yesterday, I hit my head three times -- once so bad I fell to the ground -- but I don't blame an absent deity or spiritual forces. Sometimes, you just hit your head.

But how does evil happen? How do a few people lay out a plot so reprehensible that it turns most of the world away, but manages to rally a buffer of support? How does the Holocaust happen? How does something like the Armenian genocide slip by, even considered fictitious by some? What forces must line up together for slavery, or apartheid, or internment to occur?

Personally, Proposition 8 is reprehensible but what about teenage boys being hung in crowded squares to cheers because they are gay? Religions that speak in favor of violence and bloodletting?

How does evil happen?

Are we each culpable? What is happening in the world today, as I type this, that makes me ashamed of my shared humanity? I feel like I need to do something, something big, but I don't know how. I wonder if this is what good hearted Germans felt in 1938 as their government slipped away from them, or the eloquent but not-battle ready abolitionists of the nineteenth century.



UPDATED: What would you be willing to do in the face of evil? I can't help but think that if the Vatican stood up to Hitler, and called on the world's Catholics not to submit, then a difference could've been made. But would you be willing to trade the peaceful life, the easy answer? Knowing death is imminent, or poverty, or your good name was at risk, would you speak out or take action or lead for change? A bumper sticker won't do it. Would you stand outside a Church or City Hall or Television station and speak the truth?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Come Dance with Me

As the evening settles on this monumental day, the criticism is rising and the opposition is gaining its strength. Those who didn’t vote for our new president, upset with the new paradigm in Washington, are starting their grumbling, calling him a false-prophet, and rallying on their side. They are tired of the hyperbolic praise and can’t seem to understand why we are excited.

Eight years ago, like much of the nation, we were numb from a controversial election and many of us weren’t content with the method by which it was settled. We were told by our candidate that the country would heal and we should move forward. We tried.

But that new president wasted no time scouring the country for ideologues bent on a new American century of impearlism and dominance. That president surrounded himself with advisors and secretaries that only saw things in the extremes of black and white, free of the burden of nuance and intellectual curiosity. But he was our president.

The administration laid the foundation for a financial disaster, committing generations to the debt of the day. A $300 check bought our souls for the benefit of a few. No thought to perpetuity was paid, just $300 and a smirk. The earliest accomplishments were tax cuts assailed by many in the administration’s own party – including the man who would carry the banner 8 years later.

He erased diplomacy in our own halls of democracy and his administration brought vulgarity to the floor of the United States Senate.

On September 11, when our nation and democracy was attacked and as the world rallied to our side, the administration played a game of bait and switch and set the stage for an unending war. Our cities were targets that day. All Americans lost something. Freedom itself was wounded, but the response was to turn the Federal guns inward.

The goodwill of the world was used against itself. We were misled into a war. A media, desperate for a seat at the table, bought WMDs, a Coalition of the Willing, and UN Resolutions to be ignored.

We tried to stay together.

And when a war didn’t consolidate power, when weapons went unfound and causes exposed as figments of powerful imaginations, they turned on us.

They wanted to see what we look at in libraries or who we talk to on our phones. They wanted to read our emails. They wanted to hunt us out.

For me, it got most personal when we our patriotism was questioned and our families pilloried. Gay people were painted with the same brush as pedophiles and traitors. We were labeled a threat of the most serious nature. They promoted a stain on the Constitution and used us to score cheap political points. And their strategy seemed to work.

The next targets were working people who sought protection under the law. Property owners were targeted for big box stores and the minimum wage jobs that stuff them. And we were told that the greatest threat to our lifestyle was a fat, bearded man from Flint, Michigan.

And the Democrats, the opposition, the lone voice in the wilderness chose to remain silent in the hope of not making too large a target and squeak by with insignificant victories.

A few rose up during this time. Some spoke of 2 Americans. Or a need to take our country back. Some reminisced and longed for anything from Hope. And one man, stood tall, and embraced and channeled that hope.

Yes, that man, our new president, speaks pretty. Yes, we don’t know what the next 4 years will hold. Yes, the challenges are huge. But if you wish ill will in the first 24 hours, if you don’t think you belong at the party, if must sulk in the shadows off the dance floor, it’s not because we don’t want you. We our proud of our new president, full of hope for what might be, and tired… dog tired… of being torn apart.

Come, dance in the sun with us. Engage us in spirited debate without the rhetoric spewing from talk radio. Hold to your values and seek to persuade us. But give us this day. Come, dance with me.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What Makes It A Civil Rights Issue?

Mike Huckabee is Ignorant to Violence Against Gays



Yesterday, former Arkansas Governor and Republican Presidential Preacher Candidate Mike Huckabee was on The View. While talking about the election, Huckabee slipped in a little gem about the gay rights movement, declaring that marriage equality is not a civil right and what we are engaged is in not the same as the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. How does he decided what defines a civil rights struggle?

Violence.

Fire hoses, beatings, police brutality, and murders defined the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s, in the eyes of Rev. Huck. According to his understanding, he made the assertion – that went unaddressed by the ladies of The View – that gay men and women just aren’t in the same struggle.

How many more gay people need to die before it becomes a “civil rights” struggle? Governor Huckabee is apprarently ignorant to the horrific recent history of violence against gay people in the United States. We don’t need to go back decades. Moses “Tiesch” Cannon was murdered last week in an anti-gay attack.

In 1973, 32 people were killed when a gay bar was set on fire in New Orleans. This was after the Civil Rights movement. After Stonewall.

In 1978, Harvey Milk – one of the first openly gay elected officials in the nation – was shot and killed in San Francisco City Hall. A bloody line of gay people follows.

In 1982, Rick Hunter and John Hanson were savagely attack outside a gay bar. ER employees testified that the police repeated called the men “queers” and “sissies” while they were being treated for their injuries.

Brandon Teena was brutally raped and murdered in 1993 because he was transgendered. His story was portrayed in the film, Boys Don’t Cry.

The Otherside Lounge was bombed by Eric Robert Rudolph in 1997. Five bar patrons were injured. Eric Robert Rudolph was the “Olympic Park Bomber” who also target a women’s health center.

In October 1998, Matthew Shepard was driven out to a remote field, savagely beaten, and left to die. His murderers capitalized on their fame with an ABC 20/20 interview during which they suddenly changed their story and claimed the murder was a robbery – despite the fact that Matthew had nothing but his shoes taken from him and his home was left undisturbed.
In 2000, Ronald Gay stormed into a gay bar in Virginia and opened fire, killing Danny Overstreet and injuring 6 others.

In 2005, three-year-old Ronnie Paris died from brain injuries. His father repeatedly bullied his son, beating him, hoping to toughen him up out of fears he would grow up to be a sissy.

In 2005, a Jamaican mob chased down an anonymous gay man. Afraid of the crowd, the man jumped into the water and drowned.

In 2006, Jacob Robida entered a gay bar in New Bedford, Massachusetts with a hatchet and attack customers. At least three sustained injuries.

Duanna Johnson, a transgender woman, was beaten and called a “faggot” and “he-she” repeatedly while in police custody in February 2008. Just this month, she was found dead, after being gunned down, lying in the street.

Lawrence King was shot dead in a classroom by a classmate in Oxnard, California in February 2008. Larry was murdered because he appeared gay and liked to wear make-up.

In case Mike Huckabee needs more violence before becoming concerned, I believe we should all remember some of these victims of anti-gay hate crimes: Terry Knudsen, 1979; Les Benscoter, 1979; Charlie Howard, 1984; Rebecca Wight, 1988; James Zappalorti, a Vietnam Veteran, 1990; Julio Rivera, 1990; Paul Broussard, 1991; Scott Amedure, 1995; Roxanne Ellis and Michelle Abdill, 1995; Jeff Whittington, 1999; PFC Barry Winchell, 1999; Gary Matson and Winfield Mowder, 1999; Steen Fenrich, 1999; Arthur “JR” Warren, 2000; Aaron Webster, 2001; Fred Martinez, 2001; Nizah Morris, 2002; Gwen Araujo, 2002; Sakia Gunn, 2003; Richie Phillips, 2003; Nireah Johnson and Brandie Coleman, 2003; Glenn Kopitske, 2003; Brian Williamson, 2004; FannyAnn Eddy, 2004; Daniel Fetty, 2004; Jason Gage, 2005; Jody Dobrowski, 2005; Michael Sandy, 2006; Roberto Duncanson, 2007; Sean William Kennedy, 2007; Steven Parrish, 2008; and Tony Randolph Hunter, 2008.

This violence comes from an attitude, a culture, that doesn’t respect or acknowledge gay people. When preachers like Mike Huckabee don’t value our relationships or individual humanity, his followers are left to interpret what is righteous. The slippery slope leads to a dark, lonely alley.

Opponents of marriage equality and gay civil rights are terrified to see “their” culture slipping away from them. For centuries, the majority has feared change and often acted in extreme measure to cling to their values. The crusades. The Inquisition. Salvery. Jim Crow. A half century ago, Americans stood up to cultural conservatives and demanded that they join the 20th century. These demands came from the courts and from marches in the streets. A “Southern” culture of segregation and supremacy was eliminated without a single vote cast at the ballot box.

But for some reason, we are resigned to allowing the majority exercise their will against gay people. We are satisfied with leaders like Governor Huckabee who are ignorant to the gentle lives snuffed out by violence. We are silent as we watch our fellow Americans relegated to second-class citizenship.

Contrary to what Governor Huckabee and the ladies of The View think, gay people are under assault every day. Until 2003, our private intimate lives were outlawed and subject to criminal prosecution in 13 states. Today, I could be fired from my job just for being gay in 31 states. I can be denied an apartment or a loan because I am gay. I can not legally fight our foreign enemies in service to this great nation without living a life of deception.

Opponents of gay rights fear the “promotion of homosexuality.” However, segregation sanctioned and endorsed by the government promotes fear itself. The irrational bigotry against gay people is supported by government policies that declare me to be less of a person. These policies, this attitude and culture, often leads to the violence that ends lives.

This month, America elected a President whose parents could not legally marry in 22 states in the year he was born. President-elect Barack Obama was born to an African father and white mother. We are told by Governor Huckabee that marriage is a 5,000 year institution that needs to be protected. This institution was one that outlawed the marriage of the parents of the future President in 22 states. Minds can change.

On the 40th Anniversary of the Loving v. Virginia decision, Mildred Loving left us with this:

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people's religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people's civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Missed Metaphors

At about 0:25:



If Barack Obama loses the election, it's not because of Bradley Effects and illegal voter purges. It'll because he screwed up the Top Gun metaphor.

Senator Obama's most recent, stinging criticism of John McCain is that he's been too close to President Bush. "You can't be a maverick when you are busy being a sidekick."

Sidekick is all wrong. It's WINGMAN! You can't be a maverick when you are too busying being a wingman!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Lessons from Jury Duty

This summer, I served on my first jury. It was a rape case in downtown Los Angeles. As an avid CSI: fan, I was intrigued by the prospect of DNA evidence, type-matching, finger print analysis, ballistics, etc. What it came down to was “he said / she said.”

We did have the benefit of DNA evidence tying the defendant to a sexual act with the alleged victim. The case relied on whether it was a consensual act or not. The defendant lived in the same neighborhood as the victim and was related to a friend of the victim’s daughter. She had seen him before, but not as her attacker since the attacker was masked.

The alleged victim testified that she had a passing familiarity – having seen him a few times in the neighborhood – with the defendant, a man who was positively linked to a sex act with the victim by DNA evidence. The defendant testified that he and the woman were having an illicit affair – one of the many he was engaged in despite his long-term girlfriend who he went on to marry – and that is likely how his sperm “found its way” into her vagina.

In the jury room, a few jurors weren’t convinced of his guilt. As foreman, I had their attention and laid it out like this:

Do you believe the scientific evidence that proves there was a sex act? Answer: Yes.

Now, do you believe the victim when she said she had only seen the defendant a few times around the neighborhood, or do you believe the defendant who says they were having an affair? Answer: I don’t know.

Only one of them can be telling the truth. Who has the motivation to lie? Who has the record of lying? Who is lying? Do you believe that the victim took the stand and committed perjury? Answer: No. I guess she is telling the truth.

If you believe there was a sex act, and you believe the victim when she says that she never had consensual sex with the defendant, than you have to find him guilty of rape.

Okay, rape metaphors might be ratcheting up the rhetoric a bit, but in this election I submit this: Only one of them can be telling the truth.

Barack Obama or John McCain. Who do you believe?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Better Red than Dead

Sorry Ronald Reagan but it's becoming really clear to me why communism doesn't work. It wasn't the might of our military, the strength of our conviction, or the intoxicating power of Levi's going with everything. It's because when given the option to do less or more without consequence, people will do less.

Swallow that...

Meet Sam & Julie Thoron



This is the first ad in the marriage equality debate California is about to engage in. The No on Prop 8 side was the first on the air, an important benchmark in the campaign.

The Thorons bring the tough reality many California families will face should the bigots behind Proposition 8 win. Equality for All has ambitious plans to make sure everyone in California meets the Thorons. I wouldn't be surprised if we meet a lot of different families during this campaign.

We can help keep this ad on the air. I'm trying to raise $10,000 for my birthday -- which would help this and other ads run dozens of times during across the state.

You can give here just don't forget to include REFERRAL CODE 503.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

30 Years In...

Almost 30 years ago, who would’ve thought we’d be where we are today? The Democratic Party has nominated a progressive black man for President and the Republican Party has nominated a conservative hockey mom for Vice President. All of Europe trades in one currency. Formerly hostile nations like Libya are choosing to lay down their weapons in the spirit of peace. And gay men and lesbian can legally marry in six countries and two states.

I couldn’t have imagined it because 30 years ago, I wasn’t around. I was close, but not there yet. I couldn’t have stood along side of Harvey Milk and George Moscone of San Francisco when they lead the charge to stand up for gay rights in California. And 30 years ago, they were in the fight of their lives – working to defeat the Briggs Initiative and push back against Anita Bryant and the powerful forces of hate.

I consider myself lucky to have been born when I was. That victory 30 years ago, soundly defeating the Briggs Initiative and sending Anita Bryant back to Florida, helped create an environment where I could grow to become the man I am today. Without that victory, who knows what shame would be slung on the backs of gay men and women and what impact that would have had on me.

Today, I can be open and honest as who I am and still keep my job, get insurance, live wherever I chose, be with whomever I want, and, in my state of California, one day get married and have the family that my parents raised me to have. Much of this is possible because of that fight that Californians were in right when I was born.

As I prepare for this milestone birthday it is impossible not to recognize that we are on the threshold of history this year. Whoever moves into the White House will make history. And frankly, the impact of their administration on my life is limited to tax policy and personal satisfaction. But on the same day, millions of Californians will make a decision that will profoundly affect my life – they will decide Proposition 8, the first movement since prohibition to strip rights and freedoms away from Americans.

We must defeat Proposition 8. Thirty years ago, it was about coming out and making ourselves known. Harvey Milk, who was murdered because of his defiant honesty, implored us to “come out, come out, wherever you are!” Coming out won’t do it this time. And in reality, it doesn’t matter. Most of us are out these days because of the pioneering work of these early fighters. It also won’t work because many who are this fight aren’t gay. We are men and women, straight and gay, single and married, with children and without. We believe in justice and equality. And we need to do something.

If we fail, the proprietors of hate will drag their carnival to the next state and the next. They will ride the wave of victory across this country and deny tens of millions of Americans equality under the law. It will take another generation just to get where we are today, 30 years after Briggs – 30 years after I was born.

If we win, we can stop them. The defeat of Briggs slowed down the conservatives who sought to strip every city and town of their modest protections for gays. We can cause their war chests to dry up. We can take gay marriage out of the political debate and focus on real issues. But most importantly, we can marry. That is the tangible product that they won’t ever be able to take away. Everyone in California will be equal under the law.

This will not be an easy fight. The forces on the right have rallied. Opponents of equality have upped the stakes and are planning to spend a lot of money in pushing this dangerous constitutional amendment on California. It is estimated that we’ll need more than $25 million to get our message out and encourage a “no” vote. For some perspective, in 2000, organizers working against Proposition 22 – which was thrown out by the court this past year – raised only $6 million. They lost. With this amendment taking away a right guaranteed by the California constitution, we can not stand to lose. We must defeat this initiative.

Come back often. I’ll tell you what you can do! (And I won’t cut and paste. It’ll be my own, original writing.)

Start with a promise to vote no!

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Face of the Closet

PhotobucketImages of gay men, used by the media, often lean towards the shocking and illicit. If you've seen media coverage of gay pride events you've definitely seen your fair share of scantily clad men, thongs, and feathers. Fictional portrayals of gay men are often just as over-the-top. Jack from Will & Grace, or the boys of Queer as Folk present America with either swishy nancy-boys or promiscuous, cock-hungry, young and greased-up hairless twinks on the prowl.

The reality is that the gay community is as diverse as any and that for every circuit boy dancing shirtless in clubs throughout our country's big cities there are fathers cuddled up on the sofa watching Dancing with Stars after putting their kids to bed.

And for every wholesome, well-adjusted gay man and shirtless twink or twink-obsessed queen, there are the men who live in the closet and are haunted by its demons.

Some of them serve in the United States Senate, but most are probably trying to get by living a "normal" life in America's heartland. They've been admonished by their clergy, scorned by their neighbors, and isolated from their families... probably before they turned 12 years-old. Eventually, they married a woman and tried to live that life they were told God had laid out for them.

The problem is you can't change your diesel into a hybrid just with a new paint job. If you are born gay, you'll find the urge, the need, the attraction unavoidable.

Thus the pain of the closet.

Governor James McGreevey will tell you all about it, if you buy his book. I imagine, after his Senate career comes to an inglorious end, Larry Craig will have a few choice words as well. For centuries, closeted gay men have gone to extremes to meet the carnal needs ignored at home.

In Huntsville, Alabama, local police found 22 men trying to meet those needs in a public park. It's an old story. The Associate Press probably can provide newswriters with boiler plate copy. I would never defend acts of public sex, and it is not my intent to encourage extra-marital sexual behavior. Furthermore, there is no evidence in this article that helps a 20-something Angeleno know for a fact that these men were living a closeted lifestyle. What I do get from the story, because it spices up local news and gets ratings, is addresses and photos of the alleged sexual deviants.

The first thing I notice is that these aren't pics of the hardbodies at Equinox West Hollywood or the rough-trade leather daddies of the meatpacking district. These are men that would likely blend in well at a John Deere tractor auction, if not an Alabama GOP Organizing Meeting.

No matter how much the media, our enemies, or even our friends, want to paint the gay community with a broad brush, they will continue to fail so long as they don't recognize that we are all very different. If we can't be wrapped up in the simple hate-filled code language of James Dobson and Pat Robertson, it might be hard to land those punches that Jimmy and Patsy hope will knock us out.

The 22 men are slimey. But they represent what happens when shame rules your life. What is rarely addressed when we (as a country) tear down a Larry Craig or Ted Haggard is what conditions pressure men (and women) into living a dangerous, lie-filled life. The lesson of these 22 mugshots continuing to live in shame.

Thresher Shark

This is what I saw last night on an early evening dive at Redondo Beach:

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The common thresher is harmless, but amazing. Conditions were perfect and we had amazing visibility. The shark was about 4 to 5 feet, not counting the wicked tail.

Taste in Men

Because I clearly have HORRIBLE taste in men, like Laura Bush-horrible, I find the criticism of Michael Phelps interesting. Commenters on the gay blogs call him "ugly," "foul," and "over-hyped."

He's the greatest Olympic athlete of the modern era. He has more gold around his neck than Mr. T. And his mom, my lord, his mom is amazing. He's got an amazing body and a great, warm smile.

And sluts* like Amanda Beard say trash like this:

Eww, that’s nasty... Come on, I have really good taste. He’s really not my type.


She was interviewed by an Arizona shock-jock.

"I have never, ever hooked up with Michael Phelps," Beard said via telephone from Beijing on the "Johnjay and Rich Show," which is broadcast on Kiss FM 104.7 in Phoenix.

Beard, who has bared all for Playboy and appears in a sexy ad for PETA, also said she has never even kissed the 14-time Olympic gold-medalist.


I have no doubt she hasn't kissed Phelps, but I imagine his discerning taste might be more of the reason. Or perhaps, maybe, just maybe, not every Olympic swimmer has hooked up with every other Olympic swimmer.

I know Amanda Beard's boyfriend and I have to tell you, he ain't all that and a bag of chips. Maybe the greasy stain left on the napkin by the chips, but certainly not the chips themselves.

I love you Michael.

*For this post, I've decided that men or women who allow images of their privates be published in magazines and on web sites are sluts.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Meet Juror #8

I finished Jury Duty today. It was the first time, after four previous invitations, that I made it to a jury. I figured I wouldn't get off as easy as before -- with three times not even having to show up at the courthouse -- because I was called to report to Los Angeles' downtown criminal courts building. Los Angeles' most serious cases are tried at this courthouse, primarily because of its proximity to the Mens Central Jail.

I haven't driven downtown in more than a year. It was a nostalgic journey that seemed to pass much quicker than it did when it was part of my daily grind and I was met on the other end by my nemesis, the spork lady, and a whole mix of untouchables that made up my team of co-workers.

I reported to the 11th floor, as my summons directed, and was greeted by a crowded hallway of less than jovial prospective jurors. I was tired and a little hot, as I was toting my laptop around with me. We filed into the Jury Assembly Room, which we were told was recently remodeled for our enjoyment. The staff then bragged about the excitement which was Jury Appreciation Week in May, during which they give out free treats and organize some sort of field trip. Our service was in July. Why exactly did we care about this? Perhaps it was attempt to distract us from the fact that the Jury Assembly Room did not have WiFi.

Please, someone explain to me why the Los Angeles County Superior Court, which boasts being the largest court of its kind with an operating budget of more than $850 million, can't spring for a couple of $35 wireless routers for its jurors? I work at a hospital that provides free WiFi throughout for its visitors. Not it's patients, but the visitors who are paying nothing to be in the building. Why can't the court do the same?

It wouldn't matter. After escorting away a group of 100+ prospective jurors for a trial expected to last 15 days, I was called in the next group. A motley bunch of 75. We were told that this trial was expected to last for no more than 8 days, so the court would be less likely to consider excuses related to hardship. We headed to the courtroom on the 9th floor.

We had to go through security again on the 9th floor. I beeped going through even though I didn't in the lobby just a couple of hours earlier and in the same clothes. This seemed weird. I would later learn that this is the only floor with additional security, and that the security is more thorough than in the lobby. We were, apparently, on the floor where they try only the most serious offenders. Our case was an alleged rape.

We were given randomly assigned numbers: 1 through 75. I had drawn number 46. Very high in the list for a jury that would need only 12 members. I had visions of being released that first day, unquestioned and unchosen. I'd be rejected even by the court.

The questioning started with a group of 27. Anyone with a passing familiarity with John Grisham could've guessed accurately at what questions would be asked. I have to say I was a little shocked by the answers. The Academy would be impressed by the measures some would take to avoid service. My dog is sick and needs medication every 2 hours. My college friend's cousin was date raped in 1942. I can't be objective, I just can't. Sitting here I know he did it. Many who left the first day would be returned to the jury pool. Maybe they'd end up on a longer case. Some would be sent to civil court where the trials are often much longer and more tedious. The devil you know. The devil you know.

By the end of the first day and after a serious round of peremptory challenges, the potential juror pool was slight. Very slight. I had gone from having a 34 person buffer between myself and the 12th seat in the box to being only 2 spots away from being juror number 8. By lunch on the second day, I would have found my home in Juror 8's seat. Not having been a victim of violent crime, not knowing anyone in law enforcement, not having any strong feelings about the crime, the accused, or the alleged victim, I was going to serve on this jury.

This was a Los Angeles jury. We were joined by 3 alternates. Of the 15, there were 3 Latinos (a woman and two men) with poor English skills. They were joined by another Latino man who was stoic but with gentle eyes and a young Latina who just graduated college. There was an African American woman, a teacher, and an African American man, a student. There was an Asian female teacher, an Asian man who had also just graduated from college, and the white Nurse and single mother of 2 girls getting ready for college. There was a young white woman who worked in the entertainment industry and older white man who was a retired mechanic. I can't forget the middle-aged writer from Burbank or the young father of 2 boys, a white guy from the San Gabriel Valley. And there was me, Juror #8.

We would decide this man's fate.

Several years ago, my father sat on the jury of a rape trial. I wonder what his experience was like, before there was DNA evidence. In our case, there was DNA evidence that conclusively linked the defendant to a sex act with the alleged victim. Now we need to know whose story to believe.

We sat through testimony for three days. Courtroom drama television shows do Americans a disservice. We think we have an idea of what trial is like. Jury Duty quickly destroys any romance created by Dick Wolf or David E. Kelly. Trial is tedious. Most questions are procedural. And no one asks the question you are thinking.

Attorneys are trying to prove their side, or, in the case of the defense, at least disprove a side. They aren't necessarily concerned with the truth. There will be information they will keep from you and you will resent them for it. You will have to use the evidence they decide you get to see to make a sound judgment.

Credibility plays an important part of this process. After our decision, walking back to the garage, one of the jurors who works with children said that she is going to use this experience to stress why it's important to be good citizens. Why no crime is a minor crime. A person's criminal record -- even if only minor crimes -- can be crippling in the future. It's hard to believe a felon. Very, very hard to believe a repeat felon. Very, very, very hard to believe a repeat felon for whom there is no evidence supporting his story.

We the jury... This is our job this week. After closing arguments that would make Alan Shore cry out in pain we were sent to the jury room. It was late in the day. Could we get anything done today? We could pick our foreman.

Guess who was the foreman? After a rough few months where I would question my own self-worth, I was once again reminded that I do have some remarkable traits and leadership is one of them. I didn't say or do much, but I was chosen by my peers as the foreperson.

This was important to me as well, as there is a pace, a clip to the way I do things and I work better when I have some control. That is a lesson I've learned in these months. I need some control. Jury Duty is not about control. Being a foreman is. I didn't make up people's minds for them or even try, but I got to structure the discussion and support those who could've been railroaded. Plus, I got to write on the board. And stand a lot. I like standing.

Halfway through the first full day of deliberations, at the lunch break, I was resigned to at least another day of this process. The evidence was clear to me, but there seemed to be some genuine resistance. But maybe the others sat and marinated in their thoughts over lunch as my french dip from Philipe's marinated in its own gravy and spicy mustard. Mmmm... spicy mustard.

After returning, things picked right up again and the conversation had an enlightened flow to it. Sensing that many arguments had been repeated, I suggested an anonymous poll. It came back unanimous. After about an hour or more of finalizing some details and wrapping up the technical aspects, we had completed the task before us.

Three buzzes for the bailiff and he'd start preparing all the necessary players. The ADA was there with a different hair style than she wore through all of last week. This was more humanizing and more feminine. I liked it. The defendant was there as well with his Public Defender. That must be the hardest job in the world.

Do Public Defenders make what District Attorneys do? I know San Francisco is one of the few municipalities that has a publicly elected Defender to match the prestige of the publicly elected District Attorney. Why does our judicial system, that just demanded 6 days from my life costing me hundreds of dollars, place such little value on the defense that is so critical to the system itself?

These are all questions for another time. Today, in this moment, the 12 of us, led by me, will have a major impact on human lives. One of these lives faces us.

Guilty.

He cried. As did a few jurors.

There are questions I have today. More than anything, the case was reopened 6 years after the crime. He almost got away with it. What changed?

What does this mean for the victim, a woman who has carried this with her for 8 years. Will she sleep better tonight? Who told her the news?

What will become of the defendant's family? His wife? His kids? Dad's been in jail for a long time, is tonight different? What is the state prepared to do to help this mother and her kids now?

What will be his sentence? This is California and he has quite a record. Was this his third strike?

I think it's good that these questions didn't come into my mind in that Jury Room.

The jury experience is unique. It must be the best system in the world, but the burden is extreme. Hundreds of dollars, which for me hurts enough, but for many in this jury I imagine it will be weeks before they recover. Emotionally, the result isn't nearly as fleeting. In a few weeks, most of the sting of seeing a grown man, a convicted rapist, break down in tears will subside. It may take longer for the humble images of a working single mother tearfully recounting a senseless and violent rape in her own home to drift out of my consciousness.

And for every day that these images remain, I am told 10,000 more Angelenos will funnel into Jury Assembly rooms across the county, deprived of WiFi and grumbling their dissatisfaction about their impending hardship. And on floors above and below, defendants, victims, DAs, and Defense Attorneys, are thanking God for those jurors and hoping for a fair shake and equal opportunity before the law.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Mormons Don't Support Redefining Marriage...

...except when they do it. About 5 times in 150 years.

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It was leaked out today that this weekend, California Mormons will be asked by their church to work to oppose same-sex marriage in their state. The LDS Church is up in arms because the California Supreme Court has endorse marriage equality, and in the church's opinion (and that of many religious cult leaders) strived to redefine a "5,000 year-old institution ordained by God."

I welcome the involvement of the Mormons because it might bring some due attention on the absurdity of this "5,000 year institution" argument. You might think marriage is ordained by God. You might think gays are icky. But you have no intellectual right to believe that marriage as it exist in American law is a 5,000 year-old institution. And Mormon polygamy, hot in the news these days, is a prime example.

At the founding of the church polygamy was expressly forbidden. Within a few years, it was mainstream practice with even church founder Joseph Smith having multiple wives. By the turn of the twentieth century, the church banned plural marriage again and began excommunicating its practioners, despite that fact that a church president who survived well in to the 40s was an avowed polygamist. Today, the church is adamantly opposed to polygamy. Mormons have redefined marriage nearly half a dozen times in 150 years.

Of course, I'm afraid of the gay-marriage/polygamy/beastiality comparisons that will surely spew from the mouths of evangelicals, but I welcome the death of the 5,000 year institution argument.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Can you be too gay?

I'm pretty frickin' gay, but really...



Hope his friends love him.

Thanks Dan.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

40 Year Old... What?

PhotobucketDo you ever feel like a celebrity? I do.

After letting my manscaping get a little behind because I've been a little preoccupied recently, I decided to catch up. Ooops. Don't manscape at 6:00 AM. The new job has me waking up at normal hours again, and while I might be standing up, I am certainly not awake.

And that, my dear friends, is why I look like Steve Carell in the 40 Year Old Virgin... except I have a racing stripe down the middle of my chest and "abs" as opposed to the classic smiley.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Brian Davis for US Congress!

PhotobucketApparently I'm running for Congress! I've always wanted to be a Congressman. I also wanted to be a doctor. And a nuclear engineer. And an anti-gay, race-baiting bigot! Turns out my alter-ego Brian Davis has achieved everything I've ever wanted.

Except I have more MySpace friends. Seriously, dude, if you have 2 friends (one of whom is Tom!) take down the MySpace link from your website. It's shameful!