Taste in Men

Because I clearly have HORRIBLE taste in men, like Laura Bush-horrible, I find the criticism of Michael Phelps interesting. Commenters on the gay blogs call him "ugly," "foul," and "over-hyped."

He's the greatest Olympic athlete of the modern era. He has more gold around his neck than Mr. T. And his mom, my lord, his mom is amazing. He's got an amazing body and a great, warm smile.

And sluts* like Amanda Beard say trash like this:

Eww, that’s nasty... Come on, I have really good taste. He’s really not my type.

She was interviewed by an Arizona shock-jock.

"I have never, ever hooked up with Michael Phelps," Beard said via telephone from Beijing on the "Johnjay and Rich Show," which is broadcast on Kiss FM 104.7 in Phoenix.

Beard, who has bared all for Playboy and appears in a sexy ad for PETA, also said she has never even kissed the 14-time Olympic gold-medalist.

I have no doubt she hasn't kissed Phelps, but I imagine his discerning taste might be more of the reason. Or perhaps, maybe, just maybe, not every Olympic swimmer has hooked up with every other Olympic swimmer.

I know Amanda Beard's boyfriend and I have to tell you, he ain't all that and a bag of chips. Maybe the greasy stain left on the napkin by the chips, but certainly not the chips themselves.

I love you Michael.

*For this post, I've decided that men or women who allow images of their privates be published in magazines and on web sites are sluts.