Happy Boxing Day!

Yesterday was Christmas Day. A very long Christmas Day, entirely by my own design. I will tell you about my Christmas festivities, but first, let's talk about the world's.

For several months, issues of faith and the Church have haunted me. Most of my complaints are ideological -- related to the policies and politics of the Church -- but occasionally I find my self bothered by the theological, for example, the existence of Hell.

One thing I never doubted was that Christmas was an important day -- the second most important even -- for Christians. I was wrong.

Despite the rhetoric about the war on Christmas, Christians themselves have fired the shot heard around the world. With all of the talk about "Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas" and the anger at retailers not embracing the birth of the Lord, it's hard to figure out whose side I want to be on. I'll still likely wish you a "Merry Christmas" -- and hoping that if you don't celebrate Christmas, you'll tell me, or even better, share with me your faith tradition -- but I'm just fine with the people taking my money, and the credit card interest payments along with it, not harping about my Lord.

And then, when reading a story about a church in Glendale burning down, I read this nugget, "Because Christmas falls on Monday this year, many churches are not offering Christmas Day services, instead having celebrations Sunday morning and late Sunday night. (LA Times, 12/22/06)

Sure enough, an informal survey (including the largest Evangelical church in my hometown) shows that many Evangelical and Protestant churches offered no religious services on Christmas Day. Maybe they thought that with people attending on Sunday, it would just be too inconvenient to offer it again on Monday -- when we celebrate the birth of our Lord. Or maybe church attendance just gets in the way of the presents to be unwrapped and cocktails to be consumed.

I take great solace in knowing that my Church offered 6 Masses for the Sunday obligation, and another 11 for Christmas, of which 5 of those were actually said on Christmas Day -- whether a Monday or not.

In this spirit, I'd like to share a little reflection now that the Season is winding down and credit card bills are going out in the mail. It's a song originally recorded by Jackson Browne called, "The Rebel Jesus."

All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season,
And the merchants windows are all bright
With the faces of the children.
And the families hurrying to their homes,
As the sky darkens and freezes.
They'll be gathering around the hearths and tales,
Giving thanks for all gods graces,
And the birth of the rebel Jesus.

Well, they call him by the prince of peace,
And they call him by the savior.
And they pray to him upon the seas,
And in every bold endeavor.
As they fill his churches with their pride and gold
And their faith in him increases,
But they've turned the nature that I worshipped in
From a temple to a robbers den,
In the words of the rebel Jesus.

We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions.
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations.
And perhaps we give a little to the poor,
If the generosity should seize us.
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why they are poor,
They get the same as the rebel Jesus.

But please forgive me if I seem
To take the tone of judgement
For I've no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment.
In this life of hardship and of earthly toil
We have need for anything that frees us.
So I bid you pleasure
And I bid you cheer,
From a heathen and a pagan,
On the side of the rebel Jesus.

More Perspective

I've written endlessly about how important perspective is in my life. It's amazing how different things seem when you change your perspective... for example:

some boys

Really are worth the trouble. Some aren't.

In the annals of unforuntate names...

... this one is a doozy.

Read this article from the Los Angeles Times:

A state panel on Tuesday ordered a Santa Barbara County judge removed from her job after a series of offenses, including driving drunk and hiding the source of campaign funds.

The conduct of Superior Court Judge Diana R. Hall, 56, shows "an alarming disrespect for authority" and "an inability to control her behavior," the Commission on Judicial Performance concluded in a harshly worded 30-page decision...

Hall, the sixth California judge removed by the panel since 2001, "undermined the fair electoral process with her deceit and misrepresentations," commissioners wrote. "At a minimum, there is an appearance that Judge Hall holds her judicial office as a result of election fraud."...

Hall's legal problems centered largely on a romantic relationship she had with an aerospace executive named Deidra Dykeman.

Yes, folks, Judge Hall was brought down partially because of the contentious relationship with her lesbian lover. Her lesbian lover named Deidra Dykeman. Dykeman. I'm just saying...

The Things People Say

I've heard that I've lost weight. I don't really notice it much, especially since I lost most of it about a year and a half ago. Nevertheless, every time I see someone that I have seen in a few weeks, I hear about all the weight I've lost. I must've been really fat.

As a rule, I try not to tell people they look skinnier. Or better. I try not to tell people that they look "rested" or "happy." I think that natural extension of that thought is, "How did I look earlier?"

I think, generally, people don't think about what they say. In high school, a friend of mine lost her mother after a particularly grueling illness. I remember her hearing things like, "At least the suffering is over," or, "I know what you're going through must be difficult." At least the suffering is over? I think most teenagers would rather have a mom in pain than no mom at all. And how do you know what someone is going through? My personal choice, "I can't imagine what you are going through. Please know that I'm here for you and I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts (and prayers -- only if I know they are spiritual/religious)."

I think I've told you about the Atomic Tumor. He lost his wife last month and has documented most of it through his blog. She died suddenly of a fast illness. As in, she was perfectly healthy at the beginning of the month and dead by Thanksgiving.

He donated her organs.

Then the donation organization sent him a note telling him how they were used. (Which, I guess could be comforting but probably not just a few weeks after the loss. That seems like a card that could wait a few months.)

He wasn't very happy. He felt her organs went to losers -- Wal-Mart employees and truck drivers. Certainly these men weren't deserving of his beautiful wife's final gifts.

Of course, his response was probably a little extreme, but after what he went through isn't he entitled to extreme emotions? You should read the comments. The things that people -- most of whom I'm sure don't know him in real life -- think are acceptable to say to a grieving husband and father. Damn.

Things You Should Know

Here's a new feature called Things You Should Know. Look for future installments.

These are a few things I've learned this week:

• Fully mature elephants have testicles that weigh 13 pounds.
• 98% of all people on death row couldn't afford their own attorney, thus relying on court appointed representation.
• Los Angeles City Council members make $70,000 more a year than California Assembly members. Members of the legislature are responsible for a state of 35 million people and an annual budget of $100 billion. The City Council is repsonsible for a city of 3 1/2 million people and a budget of $4 billion.
• Sales in the United States accounts for more than half of all drug company revenues worldwide.

A few things for your Thursday...

Yesterday, I was shown/found some fun things on the Internets and I wanted to share them with you.

First are a couple of Mac vs. PC parody ads about New Jersey's pending Civil Unions. I think these are pretty creative and really hope that they are going to be put up on the air.





Oh, and do you hate Family Circus cartoons? Well, apparently someone has figured out how they were originally meant to be and invented the Nietzsche Family Circus. Check it out and go back often. Every time you reload the page you'll get a new one.

And finally, many of you will want to stop with this post at this point. For those of you who don't easily offend or who promise not to hold this against me, I'd humbly present "A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa." (If you are watching this at work, you'll want to put on headphones. Unless you work at the Klan. Or the Republican National Committee.)

UPDATE: That was too offensive even for me. You'll need to find it on your own. I just can't be responsible for someone watching something that awful and blaming me!

"Nobody (Takes the Bus) in LA"

I wanted a Robek's juice bad. Real bad-like. The only problem working downtown is that there aren't parking lots for any of the Robeks -- although there are like 3 Robeks downtown. Okay, another problem is that unlike most people who say they work downtown, I don't work among the glistening office towers that provide easy access to restuarants, shopping, and, of course, Robeks. I work about 2 miles east of that pristine wonderfulness in the midst of real live "crack hoes" and urine drenched sidewalks.

No parking. Urine drenched sidewalks. How will I ever get my Robek's? I could take the bus. It's a straight shot for about 5 minutes down 7th Street. I've done it before, even commuted by bus when I lived in my last house.

So, I get on right outside my office and get ready for a fun ride through Los Angeles' Skid Row -- one of the largest concentrations of homeless people in the Western world. And to my delight, the MTA has installed video screens on the bus.

Who would have thought that I would have been on a city bus in Skid Row breathing through my mouth when I would learn that Vaughniston was no more.



It's a cruel, cruel world.

When?

When is it okay to act?

This haunts me in so many of my life decisions. In dating, I don't play games. If I meet someone I'm interested in, I want to go out with them. If I go out and have a nice time, I want to tell them. If they had a nice time, I want them to tell me. I don't want to wait 3 days. Sometimes they understand and aren't spooked. Sometimes, they are.

I'm impatient.

When I go on a job interview, I want to know if I got the job right away. If I have to wait a week, I've already ruled it out.

When I think about changing something, I want it to happen right away. When there is a refrigerator in my dining room, I want it put away fast.

Mostly, life itself has a different plan. I have to wait. But, for how long?

My brother was married before. It was unfortunate and strange. His current wife and the mother of his 3 amazing children, who I love as much as I could any other person, was actually his high school girlfriend. They dated in high school and college and broke it off. He met another girl, dated her and 2 years later was married. (No Davis boy dared get married before finishing college. He waited a month, I think.) Within 3 years, he was divorced. During the messy divorce, while he was stationed alone overseas, he started talking with his old high school girlfriend. They spoke a lot. They went on a trip together. They flew between her home in California and his in Colorado. Then they wed. And I, all of maybe 17 or 18 at the time, couldn't tell anyone.

Why? Because when I did, the immediate reaction was always, "Didn't he just get divorced?" Who cares that they had known each other for over 10 years. Who cares that he had dated her for twice as long as his first wife. Who cares that he was happy and his new wife was amazing. All people cared about was how his life fit into their timeline.

I've been reading this blog, Atomic Tumor, for what seems like forever. Turns out, its been a little over 3 weeks. Back then, his wife was alive. She passed away on the 19th I think. On November 1, one month ago, he told us that she had the flu. Today, he's not wearing his wedding rings. Is that too soon? Is he trying to move on to quickly?

How long do you have to wait? If he "mourns" for 6 months, who's to say 10 years from now the reality of his wife passing won't suddenly hit him and wear him down? Does he need to wait a year? Two years? What if he can live and mourn at the same time?

How often, when we are waiting for something to pass, do we miss an amazing opportunity? I think we need to live more in the moment, less concerned about the future, the past, and definately less concerned with others.

Who cares if I just broke up with someone? Should I shuttle the opportunity to meet someone new, maybe (and from this perspective definately) better?

40,000,000

Today is World AIDS Day. Today, 40 million people are living on this planet with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Today, almost 14,000 people will find out that they are HIV positive.

Tomorrow, almost 10,000 of those living with AIDS today will be dead -- 250 just here in the United States.

These are my thoughts:

This is World AIDS Day because HIV/AIDS is a global pandemic. There are 40 million people living with HIV. More people are living with HIV than live in Canada or Iraq. More people on the planet are living with HIV than live in Australia and the Netherlands, or than call Chile, Ecuador and Cuba home. More people are HIV-positive than come from Sweden, Switzerland, Austria, and Israel combined.

There are more people living with HIV than living in 100 of the 235 recognized nation-states: Bhutan, Macedonia, Namibia, Slovenia, Lesotho, Botswana, Guinea-Bissau, The Gambia, Gabon, Estonia, Trinidad & Tobago, Mauritius, Swaziland, East Timor, Fiji, Cyprus, Qatar, Comoros, Djibouti, Réunion, Guyana, Bahrain, Montenegro, Transnistria, Cape Verde, Equatorial Guinea, Solomon Islands, Luxembourg, Macau, Suriname, Guadeloupe, Malta, Martinique, Brunei, Western Sahara, Maldives, The Bahamas, Iceland, Belize, Barbados, French Polynesia, New Caledonia, Vanuatu, French Guiana, Samoa, Netherlands Antilles, Guam, Saint Lucia, São Tomé and Príncipe, Abkhazia, Channel Islands, Nagorno-Karabakh, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, US Virgin Islands, Micronesia, Grenada, Tona, Aruba, Kiribati, Antigua and Barbuda, Northern Mariana Islands, Seychelles, Dominica, Isle of Man, Andorra, South Ossentia, Bermuda, American Samoa, Marshall Islands, Greenland, Faroe Islands, Cayman Islands, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Monaco, Liechtenstein, San Marino, Gibraltar, Turks and Caicos, British Virgin Islands, Palau, Cook Islands, Wallis and Futuna, Anguilla, Nauru, Tuvalu, Saint-Pierre and Miquelon, Saint Helena, Montserrat, Falkland Islands, Niue, Tokelau, and the Vatican.

It is 25 years after the discovery of HIV and we are still fighting over condom use, and medical marijuana, and who should shoulder the greatest burden. It took 6 years for an American President to even publically say "AIDS." Millions were dead before the most powerful nation in the world took notice. This year, we'll spend about $25 billion addressing HIV and AIDS; most of the money will be spent here at home where fewer than 2% of the world's AIDS cases are. In the coming days, the President will ask for more than $100 billion for the Iraq war.

Today, you are much more likely to contract HIV than to die in a terrorist attack. I'd be willing to bet that a monogamous, heterosexual housewife who has never used drugs is more likely to contract HIV than die in a terrorist attack. And our leaders are debating whether condoms are effective in slowing the spread of HIV. (They are.)

I do not have AIDS. I've never had a friend die from the disease. But here, in Los Angeles, 30,000 people have. Most of them have been gay men. If I was just 5 or 10 years older, I imagine that I couldn't have written that. Would I, or my friends, be part of the statistic, part of the 500,000 Americans that we've lost in 25 years.

We've lost artists and teachers and scientists and parents. We've lost activists and preachers and healers and, most devastatingly, we've lost children. We've lost 28 million lives. Maybe one of those lives held the answer to bring peace to the Middle East. Maybe one of those lives held the answer to Global Warming. Maybe one of those was the next Picasso, or Mozart.

How many more will we lose? Will it be someone I love and care about? How many more of my friends will take the ultimate gamble with their own life?

No night of pleasure is worth the risk. No single relationship is worth the risk. Be smart. And get active.

There are 40,000,000 of our fellow global citizens that demand and need our action. We must do more. We will be paying penance for our six years of silence. Can we afford more?