Intelligent Design

Attacking the Arguments Against Same Sex Marriage

2009-05-27T11:48:00.001-07:00

I am tired of hearing the same, simple-minded arguments against same-sex marriage that on their face are easy to discredit. Give me something real.

Today, former Bush-administration Solicitor General Ted Olson announced that he'll be co-counsel on Federal case about same-sex marriage. He is joining former rival David Boies, from the infamous Bush v. Gore case. On the blog where I read the story, some folks are arguing against same-sex marriage. Let's look at what they have to say:

Homosexual men can marry....women. Homosexual women can marry....men. How are they not equal to heterosexuals?

You are right! But how does that defend the sanctity of a 5,000 year-old institution. I can enter into a fully-legal godless, sexless, loveless marriage with a militant and promiscuous lesbian so that she can get my health insurance, but I can't marry a man I love? What purpose does civil marriage then serve?

If the people, as expressed by vote or legislature, decide to change the legal definition of marriage, then that is like other legal definitions. When a court changes definitions in violation of 3000 years of jurisprudence, that is tyranny, and the government will have chosen to devolve its legitimacy.

And yet, we survived when they did the very thing in 1967 in the Supreme Court case of Loving v. Virginia. Until that day, anti-miscegenation laws were on the books throughout the south banning interracial marriage. The vast majority of Southerners supported those laws and yet the Supreme Court invalidated them because they clearly violated the Constitution. And today, all rational people support the idea that race should not be a legal barrier to race.

Marriage has many aspects, but one essential factor is the ability, or at least the latent potential, for a male and a female to join together and produce children, whether it is actualizable potential or not. Produce children via sexual reproduction. A man can not EVER do this with another man, nor can a woman with another woman. CASE CLOSED.

Very true. This is why we don't allow post-menopausal senior citizens to marry. Or cancer survivors who were subjected to radiation treatment. Maybe we don't want marriage because I hear the mandatory fertility tests are quite onerous. This is just about the stupidest among stupid arguments, the least among lessers. Marriage is not about procreation and hasn't been since the advent of modern medicine. A state that demands procreative ability is a totalitarian state that should be feared.

Ted Olson has a broken logic switch in his brain. No one is telling homosexuals they can't get together and enjoy whatever perversities they want, it is just existentially impossible for a man to marry a man or a woman a woman. Ted Olson thinks King Canute was wrong! Stay out, tide! The physical laws of the universe don't apply, here!

Perversities. This is where their agruments truly lie. They hate us because we are different. They fear us because we are different. They are lazy parents who don't want to explain differences to their children. They are dangerous leaders who want to drive apart our civilization. They long for the days when man would lord over another man. Equality is profane to them.

If you have a better reason, then tell me!

March TONIGHT!!

2009-05-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

I really want you to march tonight. I want you to do everything you can to march tonight. I want you to leave work early, call out sick, or quit your job so you can march tonight. I want you to cancel plans or change them so you can march tonight. I want you to ask all of your friends and family to march tonight.

Taking to the streets will not change the election of November or the Supreme Court decision today. It won't give us marriage equality and fix a glaring hole in our experiment with democracy.

Marching also won't prohibit firing gay people just because they are gay in the 20 states where that is legal.

Marching won't extend the shield of the Hate Crimes Prevention Laws in the 19 states that don't protect sexual minorities.

Marching won't end the constant bullying that leads to a suicide rate among queer teens that is 3 times their straight peers.

Marching won't get you a date. (Okay, it just might!)

But it will send a message to California and the nation that the time is coming and dawn will break. Marching will tell the opponents of equality that we have you in our sights and will defeat you. Marching will show our elected leaders that we are serious about change, and that hope alone will no longer carry them to victory. Marching will bring you together with thousands of like minded individuals that need you by their side.

And tonight, during the 11:00 PM news, countless young, gay teenagers will tune in. They will see thousands of us walking in solidarity with them. One of those young teens might be a quiet young man from Woodmere, New York who will lead a city in finding its identity. (Harvey Milk) A young college student who feels so alone that he tried to kill himself might read about us in tomorrow's paper and know that he has a voice for a generation of gay men. (Larry Kramer) Or maybe a middle-class kid from the suburbs who secretly saves TIME Magazine issues with gay stories and scans MTV in the middle of the night to see if there are other gay people will see us on one of his favorite blogs. (Me!)

Please, come out tonight.

May 26: Black Tuesday

2009-05-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

Today, the California Supreme Court issued its decision in the case about the constitutional validity of Proposition 8. The court made a Solomon's Decision, upholding the ban while maintaining that the marriages performed during those 5 months in 2008 are legal.

This is an issue that I am passionate about. And as the news unfolds today, I will have countless conversations with people about the decision. It will be difficult to comprehend my feelings on so many levels, but I want to preserve my thoughts from today.

So in a very meta blog post, I am going to copy some of the more important exchanges I have online today, including dialogs from Facebook postings.

Starting at 10:00 AM:

Brian Davis SHAME

----

Christopher Cole Shame on California. I am so grateful that I now live in Connecticut.

Brian Davis Shame on me? No offense, but f*ck you. I worked hard and care passionately. Shame on the people that voted yes. Shame on leaders -- National (um... President Obama) and local (um... the entire weak-willed Democratic Caucus) who couldn't make this state a priority. Who couldn't demonstrate real leadership, and who live in an echo chamber where ... Read Morethey treated the No on 8 campaign like it was an HIV Prevention campaign. And shame on the people that don't live here acting like they are lucky to have their full rights under the law.
Every queer and queer loving American has an obligation to take to the streets and make sure that our rights don't take a backseat to Union membership drives, the right to choose, or the right to own a godd*mn gun. And not just today, but every day until there is real change and not just change for less than 3% of the country.

----

Nicole C. Curran Sad day for CA, however there is so much more work to be done on all levels to fight for equality.

Brian Davis Like getting rid of the idiots that got us here in the first place... starting with our side.
----

Lauran Huff is officially a member of a minority within a minority

Brian Davis I love you dearly and still find it revolting that California now has a third faction, a special class. The compromise is so not inspired by the law but appeasing voters that it is truly shameful.
However, if you decided to have kids and are looking for a Godfather, I am a good one with 4 godchildren already. Likely my only chance to be part of a legal queer family. :)

----

Mckenna Poole Unbelievable. I'm ashamed to be a Californian.

Brian Davis Let's fix it! It's not our fault. It's the ignorant f*cktards on both sides who lost this for us. Let them eat cake, from the bottom of a basket.

----

Brian Davis What to think of friends that post cute funny news articles at the moment that you are having your dignity stripped from you by the California Supreme Court? Oh yeah... MORONS!

----

Christopher Cole to Brian Davis: Are you California, Mr. Davis? No offense taken, but I'm certainly not shaming the people, but the state, the institution that should stand for all, for equality, for justice

Brian Davis Be clear in who is too blame:
A weak progressive majority in Sacramento that has pulled out this issue just for campaign contributions.
A tonedeaf leadership in the queer community who are so far in the closet that they couldn't take a 30 year-old lesson about empowerment.
A intellectually uncurious community who throws millions to groups like HRC, GLAAD and Lorri Jean while Lambda Legal uses donated desks and does the real heavy lifting.
A president who took millions out of this state but didn't have the simple integrity to stand along side us in this fight.
A once-bold Supreme Court who once spoke out clearly on the side of justice, and yet seemed to pull together a decision based more on political popularity and job security (the lesson of Rose Bird) wrapped in the guise of the Constitution.
And a nation of queers who can't make a protest because they have dinner reservations.
But it's not the state of California's fault, and the responsibly spreads from sea to sea.

----

Bruce McFarland If we want the population to wholeheartedly support marriage equality, voters need to make it clear that they support it. It shouldn’t be forced upon them by judges after Californians voted to remove the rights of some individuals. Let’s do it again, and this time, let’s make sure everyone joins the campaign for marriage equality. It’s a fight worth waging, and the victory at the ballot box will be sweeter.

Brian Davis Easy to say. Harder to type with that ring finger being weighted down.
We don't need the populations to "wholeheartedly support" marriage equality. We need the LAW to support it. As it should, and as our constitution dictates.
On May 15, 2008, the Supreme Court said denying marriage equality violated the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution. Today, the clause is in tact in the Constitution but somehow I am a second class citizen.
I don't need the voters to interpret the Constitution. We have a mechanism for that. And the Court should protect the minority that one year ago needed protection.
Many in some parts of the country still don't "wholeheartedly support" the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, or Affirmative Action programs. That doesn't make them any less the law.

----

Brian Davis This is the way the law works in California, from Justice Carlos Moreno's dissenting opinion:

"The question before us is not whether the language inserted into the California Constitution by Proposition 8 discriminates against same-sex couples and denies them equal protection of the law; we already decided in the Marriage Cases that it does."

We have a constitution, which on it's face, discriminates.

----

Nicole C. Curran CA Broke our hearts today, but gave us the strength to fight for equality. https://secure.couragecampaign.org/page/contribute/Fearless

Brian Davis It's a great spot, but what is the Courage Campaign's actual media plan? Really? A 60-second spot? I really think this is a fundraising ploy. Which is fine, but I want to know what the money is going to be used for...
Equality California, Lorri Jean, and the whole No on 8 people did this to me once already!

----

Andrew Lachman I hope to see everyone at Santa Monica & San Vicente today at 5

Eli Lipmen Lipschultz I will be there in spirit.

Brian Davis Why not in reality? Imagine if the Freedom Riders, the marchers in Selma, or those on the Capitol said, "Well, I have dinner plans" or "an important conference call." One more voice saying, "If not today, when?" and standing with their brothers and sisters will echo through history.
With the news cameras overhead, sending shots of tens of thousands instead of hundreds might get people to pay attention.
At the least, think of the quiet, gay 13 year old at home tonight in Bakersfield or San Bernadino. When he watches the news before closing his eyes, he'll know that others are marching for him.

----

Brian Davis So this is what HOPE smells like? Where is some real CHANGE I can believe in? (NOTE: This is from almost 3 hours after the announcement. In almost 3 hours, Robert Gibbs didn't hear a peep about the decision from the President?)

White House's "Reaction" To California's Prop 8 Decision

----

Megan Kakita Hirsch thinks it's time to move out of California...what's next, banning inter-racial marriages?

Brian Davis Imagine if we had some national leader whose parents marriage would've been denied in most states, who could stand up and speak out on this issue?

Sanctity of Marriage, My A$%!

2009-05-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

The Right has used the "sanctity of marriage," "a 5,000 year-old tradition," and all the bunk to deny equal rights to a significant population.

Britney Spears enters into a completely legal 50 hour marriage. Still sacred.

Rev. Ted Haggard does blow off a male hookers six-pack abs while the wifey sits at home knitting. Still sacred.

Very married Senator David Vitter comes up with his family values campaign strategy while diapered up by a DC madam. Still sacred.

Newt Gingrich serves his dying wife divorce papers in a hospital so he can shack up with his young new girlfriend. Still sacred.

Bill Clinton gets a blowjob in the Oval Office from a twenty-something intern, and he's ready to be on the frontlines "Defending Marriage."

This isn't institution, it's a business interest. A campaign issue for the Right, despite the very real impact on human lives. Our leaders in Washington treat it like a joke. At least some get that it's just a sophisticated game of volleyball, throwing around ideas and hoping one will land.

Now GOP "Leader" Michael Steele debunks all the sanctity and tradition by being brutally honest... it's all about the money. He's trying out the line that Same-sex Marriage will hurt small business because of the costs of benefits and family burdens. So, not only is he trying to deny gay Americans equal rights under the law, but now he wants to deny us equal pay for the work we do.

This was never about the holiness of marriage or preserving tradition. The Republican Party is preying on naive Americans and their fear of people that are different to win votes, power, and money.

How does evil happen?

2009-02-02T20:17:00.001-08:00

I am watching another Nazi movie. This one is a few years older than the surplus we've seen come out over the past 2 months. (I still recommend you see Defiance, if only because it's a little different and my friend Troy worked on it.) Probably because they are supposed to, but I can't help think watching the film, "How does evil happen?"

Not bad, things. I firmly believe that sometimes, bad things just happen. Yesterday, I hit my head three times -- once so bad I fell to the ground -- but I don't blame an absent deity or spiritual forces. Sometimes, you just hit your head.

But how does evil happen? How do a few people lay out a plot so reprehensible that it turns most of the world away, but manages to rally a buffer of support? How does the Holocaust happen? How does something like the Armenian genocide slip by, even considered fictitious by some? What forces must line up together for slavery, or apartheid, or internment to occur?

Personally, Proposition 8 is reprehensible but what about teenage boys being hung in crowded squares to cheers because they are gay? Religions that speak in favor of violence and bloodletting?

How does evil happen?

Are we each culpable? What is happening in the world today, as I type this, that makes me ashamed of my shared humanity? I feel like I need to do something, something big, but I don't know how. I wonder if this is what good hearted Germans felt in 1938 as their government slipped away from them, or the eloquent but not-battle ready abolitionists of the nineteenth century.

UPDATED: What would you be willing to do in the face of evil? I can't help but think that if the Vatican stood up to Hitler, and called on the world's Catholics not to submit, then a difference could've been made. But would you be willing to trade the peaceful life, the easy answer? Knowing death is imminent, or poverty, or your good name was at risk, would you speak out or take action or lead for change? A bumper sticker won't do it. Would you stand outside a Church or City Hall or Television station and speak the truth?

Come Dance with Me

2009-01-20T21:45:00.001-08:00

As the evening settles on this monumental day, the criticism is rising and the opposition is gaining its strength. Those who didn’t vote for our new president, upset with the new paradigm in Washington, are starting their grumbling, calling him a false-prophet, and rallying on their side. They are tired of the hyperbolic praise and can’t seem to understand why we are excited.

Eight years ago, like much of the nation, we were numb from a controversial election and many of us weren’t content with the method by which it was settled. We were told by our candidate that the country would heal and we should move forward. We tried.

But that new president wasted no time scouring the country for ideologues bent on a new American century of impearlism and dominance. That president surrounded himself with advisors and secretaries that only saw things in the extremes of black and white, free of the burden of nuance and intellectual curiosity. But he was our president.

The administration laid the foundation for a financial disaster, committing generations to the debt of the day. A $300 check bought our souls for the benefit of a few. No thought to perpetuity was paid, just $300 and a smirk. The earliest accomplishments were tax cuts assailed by many in the administration’s own party – including the man who would carry the banner 8 years later.

He erased diplomacy in our own halls of democracy and his administration brought vulgarity to the floor of the United States Senate.

On September 11, when our nation and democracy was attacked and as the world rallied to our side, the administration played a game of bait and switch and set the stage for an unending war. Our cities were targets that day. All Americans lost something. Freedom itself was wounded, but the response was to turn the Federal guns inward.

The goodwill of the world was used against itself. We were misled into a war. A media, desperate for a seat at the table, bought WMDs, a Coalition of the Willing, and UN Resolutions to be ignored.

We tried to stay together.

And when a war didn’t consolidate power, when weapons went unfound and causes exposed as figments of powerful imaginations, they turned on us.

They wanted to see what we look at in libraries or who we talk to on our phones. They wanted to read our emails. They wanted to hunt us out.

For me, it got most personal when we our patriotism was questioned and our families pilloried. Gay people were painted with the same brush as pedophiles and traitors. We were labeled a threat of the most serious nature. They promoted a stain on the Constitution and used us to score cheap political points. And their strategy seemed to work.

The next targets were working people who sought protection under the law. Property owners were targeted for big box stores and the minimum wage jobs that stuff them. And we were told that the greatest threat to our lifestyle was a fat, bearded man from Flint, Michigan.

And the Democrats, the opposition, the lone voice in the wilderness chose to remain silent in the hope of not making too large a target and squeak by with insignificant victories.

A few rose up during this time. Some spoke of 2 Americans. Or a need to take our country back. Some reminisced and longed for anything from Hope. And one man, stood tall, and embraced and channeled that hope.

Yes, that man, our new president, speaks pretty. Yes, we don’t know what the next 4 years will hold. Yes, the challenges are huge. But if you wish ill will in the first 24 hours, if you don’t think you belong at the party, if must sulk in the shadows off the dance floor, it’s not because we don’t want you. We our proud of our new president, full of hope for what might be, and tired… dog tired… of being torn apart.

Come, dance in the sun with us. Engage us in spirited debate without the rhetoric spewing from talk radio. Hold to your values and seek to persuade us. But give us this day. Come, dance with me.

What Makes It A Civil Rights Issue?

2008-11-19T10:11:00.000-08:00

Mike Huckabee is Ignorant to Violence Against Gays

Yesterday, former Arkansas Governor and Republican Presidential Preacher Candidate Mike Huckabee was on The View. While talking about the election, Huckabee slipped in a little gem about the gay rights movement, declaring that marriage equality is not a civil right and what we are engaged is in not the same as the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. How does he decided what defines a civil rights struggle?

Violence.

Fire hoses, beatings, police brutality, and murders defined the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s, in the eyes of Rev. Huck. According to his understanding, he made the assertion – that went unaddressed by the ladies of The View – that gay men and women just aren’t in the same struggle.

How many more gay people need to die before it becomes a “civil rights” struggle? Governor Huckabee is apprarently ignorant to the horrific recent history of violence against gay people in the United States. We don’t need to go back decades. Moses “Tiesch” Cannon was murdered last week in an anti-gay attack.

In 1973, 32 people were killed when a gay bar was set on fire in New Orleans. This was after the Civil Rights movement. After Stonewall.

In 1978, Harvey Milk – one of the first openly gay elected officials in the nation – was shot and killed in San Francisco City Hall. A bloody line of gay people follows.

In 1982, Rick Hunter and John Hanson were savagely attack outside a gay bar. ER employees testified that the police repeated called the men “queers” and “sissies” while they were being treated for their injuries.

Brandon Teena was brutally raped and murdered in 1993 because he was transgendered. His story was portrayed in the film, Boys Don’t Cry.

The Otherside Lounge was bombed by Eric Robert Rudolph in 1997. Five bar patrons were injured. Eric Robert Rudolph was the “Olympic Park Bomber” who also target a women’s health center.

In October 1998, Matthew Shepard was driven out to a remote field, savagely beaten, and left to die. His murderers capitalized on their fame with an ABC 20/20 interview during which they suddenly changed their story and claimed the murder was a robbery – despite the fact that Matthew had nothing but his shoes taken from him and his home was left undisturbed.
In 2000, Ronald Gay stormed into a gay bar in Virginia and opened fire, killing Danny Overstreet and injuring 6 others.

In 2005, three-year-old Ronnie Paris died from brain injuries. His father repeatedly bullied his son, beating him, hoping to toughen him up out of fears he would grow up to be a sissy.

In 2005, a Jamaican mob chased down an anonymous gay man. Afraid of the crowd, the man jumped into the water and drowned.

In 2006, Jacob Robida entered a gay bar in New Bedford, Massachusetts with a hatchet and attack customers. At least three sustained injuries.

Duanna Johnson, a transgender woman, was beaten and called a “faggot” and “he-she” repeatedly while in police custody in February 2008. Just this month, she was found dead, after being gunned down, lying in the street.

Lawrence King was shot dead in a classroom by a classmate in Oxnard, California in February 2008. Larry was murdered because he appeared gay and liked to wear make-up.

In case Mike Huckabee needs more violence before becoming concerned, I believe we should all remember some of these victims of anti-gay hate crimes: Terry Knudsen, 1979; Les Benscoter, 1979; Charlie Howard, 1984; Rebecca Wight, 1988; James Zappalorti, a Vietnam Veteran, 1990; Julio Rivera, 1990; Paul Broussard, 1991; Scott Amedure, 1995; Roxanne Ellis and Michelle Abdill, 1995; Jeff Whittington, 1999; PFC Barry Winchell, 1999; Gary Matson and Winfield Mowder, 1999; Steen Fenrich, 1999; Arthur “JR” Warren, 2000; Aaron Webster, 2001; Fred Martinez, 2001; Nizah Morris, 2002; Gwen Araujo, 2002; Sakia Gunn, 2003; Richie Phillips, 2003; Nireah Johnson and Brandie Coleman, 2003; Glenn Kopitske, 2003; Brian Williamson, 2004; FannyAnn Eddy, 2004; Daniel Fetty, 2004; Jason Gage, 2005; Jody Dobrowski, 2005; Michael Sandy, 2006; Roberto Duncanson, 2007; Sean William Kennedy, 2007; Steven Parrish, 2008; and Tony Randolph Hunter, 2008.

This violence comes from an attitude, a culture, that doesn’t respect or acknowledge gay people. When preachers like Mike Huckabee don’t value our relationships or individual humanity, his followers are left to interpret what is righteous. The slippery slope leads to a dark, lonely alley.

Opponents of marriage equality and gay civil rights are terrified to see “their” culture slipping away from them. For centuries, the majority has feared change and often acted in extreme measure to cling to their values. The crusades. The Inquisition. Salvery. Jim Crow. A half century ago, Americans stood up to cultural conservatives and demanded that they join the 20th century. These demands came from the courts and from marches in the streets. A “Southern” culture of segregation and supremacy was eliminated without a single vote cast at the ballot box.

But for some reason, we are resigned to allowing the majority exercise their will against gay people. We are satisfied with leaders like Governor Huckabee who are ignorant to the gentle lives snuffed out by violence. We are silent as we watch our fellow Americans relegated to second-class citizenship.

Contrary to what Governor Huckabee and the ladies of The View think, gay people are under assault every day. Until 2003, our private intimate lives were outlawed and subject to criminal prosecution in 13 states. Today, I could be fired from my job just for being gay in 31 states. I can be denied an apartment or a loan because I am gay. I can not legally fight our foreign enemies in service to this great nation without living a life of deception.

Opponents of gay rights fear the “promotion of homosexuality.” However, segregation sanctioned and endorsed by the government promotes fear itself. The irrational bigotry against gay people is supported by government policies that declare me to be less of a person. These policies, this attitude and culture, often leads to the violence that ends lives.

This month, America elected a President whose parents could not legally marry in 22 states in the year he was born. President-elect Barack Obama was born to an African father and white mother. We are told by Governor Huckabee that marriage is a 5,000 year institution that needs to be protected. This institution was one that outlawed the marriage of the parents of the future President in 22 states. Minds can change.

On the 40th Anniversary of the Loving v. Virginia decision, Mildred Loving left us with this:

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people's religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people's civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.

Missed Metaphors

2008-11-03T19:52:00.000-08:00

At about 0:25:

If Barack Obama loses the election, it's not because of Bradley Effects and illegal voter purges. It'll because he screwed up the Top Gun metaphor.

Senator Obama's most recent, stinging criticism of John McCain is that he's been too close to President Bush. "You can't be a maverick when you are busy being a sidekick."

Sidekick is all wrong. It's WINGMAN! You can't be a maverick when you are too busying being a wingman!

Lessons from Jury Duty

2008-10-10T09:25:00.001-07:00

This summer, I served on my first jury. It was a rape case in downtown Los Angeles. As an avid CSI: fan, I was intrigued by the prospect of DNA evidence, type-matching, finger print analysis, ballistics, etc. What it came down to was “he said / she said.”

We did have the benefit of DNA evidence tying the defendant to a sexual act with the alleged victim. The case relied on whether it was a consensual act or not. The defendant lived in the same neighborhood as the victim and was related to a friend of the victim’s daughter. She had seen him before, but not as her attacker since the attacker was masked.

The alleged victim testified that she had a passing familiarity – having seen him a few times in the neighborhood – with the defendant, a man who was positively linked to a sex act with the victim by DNA evidence. The defendant testified that he and the woman were having an illicit affair – one of the many he was engaged in despite his long-term girlfriend who he went on to marry – and that is likely how his sperm “found its way” into her vagina.

In the jury room, a few jurors weren’t convinced of his guilt. As foreman, I had their attention and laid it out like this:

Do you believe the scientific evidence that proves there was a sex act? Answer: Yes.

Now, do you believe the victim when she said she had only seen the defendant a few times around the neighborhood, or do you believe the defendant who says they were having an affair? Answer: I don’t know.

Only one of them can be telling the truth. Who has the motivation to lie? Who has the record of lying? Who is lying? Do you believe that the victim took the stand and committed perjury? Answer: No. I guess she is telling the truth.

If you believe there was a sex act, and you believe the victim when she says that she never had consensual sex with the defendant, than you have to find him guilty of rape.

Okay, rape metaphors might be ratcheting up the rhetoric a bit, but in this election I submit this: Only one of them can be telling the truth.

Barack Obama or John McCain. Who do you believe?

Better Red than Dead

2008-09-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry Ronald Reagan but it's becoming really clear to me why communism doesn't work. It wasn't the might of our military, the strength of our conviction, or the intoxicating power of Levi's going with everything. It's because when given the option to do less or more without consequence, people will do less.

Swallow that...

Meet Sam & Julie Thoron

2008-09-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

This is the first ad in the marriage equality debate California is about to engage in. The No on Prop 8 side was the first on the air, an important benchmark in the campaign.

The Thorons bring the tough reality many California families will face should the bigots behind Proposition 8 win. Equality for All has ambitious plans to make sure everyone in California meets the Thorons. I wouldn't be surprised if we meet a lot of different families during this campaign.

We can help keep this ad on the air. I'm trying to raise $10,000 for my birthday -- which would help this and other ads run dozens of times during across the state.

You can give here just don't forget to include REFERRAL CODE 503.

30 Years In...

2008-09-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

Almost 30 years ago, who would’ve thought we’d be where we are today? The Democratic Party has nominated a progressive black man for President and the Republican Party has nominated a conservative hockey mom for Vice President. All of Europe trades in one currency. Formerly hostile nations like Libya are choosing to lay down their weapons in the spirit of peace. And gay men and lesbian can legally marry in six countries and two states.

I couldn’t have imagined it because 30 years ago, I wasn’t around. I was close, but not there yet. I couldn’t have stood along side of Harvey Milk and George Moscone of San Francisco when they lead the charge to stand up for gay rights in California. And 30 years ago, they were in the fight of their lives – working to defeat the Briggs Initiative and push back against Anita Bryant and the powerful forces of hate.

I consider myself lucky to have been born when I was. That victory 30 years ago, soundly defeating the Briggs Initiative and sending Anita Bryant back to Florida, helped create an environment where I could grow to become the man I am today. Without that victory, who knows what shame would be slung on the backs of gay men and women and what impact that would have had on me.

Today, I can be open and honest as who I am and still keep my job, get insurance, live wherever I chose, be with whomever I want, and, in my state of California, one day get married and have the family that my parents raised me to have. Much of this is possible because of that fight that Californians were in right when I was born.

As I prepare for this milestone birthday it is impossible not to recognize that we are on the threshold of history this year. Whoever moves into the White House will make history. And frankly, the impact of their administration on my life is limited to tax policy and personal satisfaction. But on the same day, millions of Californians will make a decision that will profoundly affect my life – they will decide Proposition 8, the first movement since prohibition to strip rights and freedoms away from Americans.

We must defeat Proposition 8. Thirty years ago, it was about coming out and making ourselves known. Harvey Milk, who was murdered because of his defiant honesty, implored us to “come out, come out, wherever you are!” Coming out won’t do it this time. And in reality, it doesn’t matter. Most of us are out these days because of the pioneering work of these early fighters. It also won’t work because many who are this fight aren’t gay. We are men and women, straight and gay, single and married, with children and without. We believe in justice and equality. And we need to do something.

If we fail, the proprietors of hate will drag their carnival to the next state and the next. They will ride the wave of victory across this country and deny tens of millions of Americans equality under the law. It will take another generation just to get where we are today, 30 years after Briggs – 30 years after I was born.

If we win, we can stop them. The defeat of Briggs slowed down the conservatives who sought to strip every city and town of their modest protections for gays. We can cause their war chests to dry up. We can take gay marriage out of the political debate and focus on real issues. But most importantly, we can marry. That is the tangible product that they won’t ever be able to take away. Everyone in California will be equal under the law.

This will not be an easy fight. The forces on the right have rallied. Opponents of equality have upped the stakes and are planning to spend a lot of money in pushing this dangerous constitutional amendment on California. It is estimated that we’ll need more than $25 million to get our message out and encourage a “no” vote. For some perspective, in 2000, organizers working against Proposition 22 – which was thrown out by the court this past year – raised only $6 million. They lost. With this amendment taking away a right guaranteed by the California constitution, we can not stand to lose. We must defeat this initiative.

Come back often. I’ll tell you what you can do! (And I won’t cut and paste. It’ll be my own, original writing.)

Start with a promise to vote no!

The Face of the Closet

2008-08-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

Images of gay men, used by the media, often lean towards the shocking and illicit. If you've seen media coverage of gay pride events you've definitely seen your fair share of scantily clad men, thongs, and feathers. Fictional portrayals of gay men are often just as over-the-top. Jack from Will & Grace, or the boys of Queer as Folk present America with either swishy nancy-boys or promiscuous, cock-hungry, young and greased-up hairless twinks on the prowl.

The reality is that the gay community is as diverse as any and that for every circuit boy dancing shirtless in clubs throughout our country's big cities there are fathers cuddled up on the sofa watching Dancing with Stars after putting their kids to bed.

And for every wholesome, well-adjusted gay man and shirtless twink or twink-obsessed queen, there are the men who live in the closet and are haunted by its demons.

Some of them serve in the United States Senate, but most are probably trying to get by living a "normal" life in America's heartland. They've been admonished by their clergy, scorned by their neighbors, and isolated from their families... probably before they turned 12 years-old. Eventually, they married a woman and tried to live that life they were told God had laid out for them.

The problem is you can't change your diesel into a hybrid just with a new paint job. If you are born gay, you'll find the urge, the need, the attraction unavoidable.

Thus the pain of the closet.

Governor James McGreevey will tell you all about it, if you buy his book. I imagine, after his Senate career comes to an inglorious end, Larry Craig will have a few choice words as well. For centuries, closeted gay men have gone to extremes to meet the carnal needs ignored at home.

In Huntsville, Alabama, local police found 22 men trying to meet those needs in a public park. It's an old story. The Associate Press probably can provide newswriters with boiler plate copy. I would never defend acts of public sex, and it is not my intent to encourage extra-marital sexual behavior. Furthermore, there is no evidence in this article that helps a 20-something Angeleno know for a fact that these men were living a closeted lifestyle. What I do get from the story, because it spices up local news and gets ratings, is addresses and photos of the alleged sexual deviants.

The first thing I notice is that these aren't pics of the hardbodies at Equinox West Hollywood or the rough-trade leather daddies of the meatpacking district. These are men that would likely blend in well at a John Deere tractor auction, if not an Alabama GOP Organizing Meeting.

No matter how much the media, our enemies, or even our friends, want to paint the gay community with a broad brush, they will continue to fail so long as they don't recognize that we are all very different. If we can't be wrapped up in the simple hate-filled code language of James Dobson and Pat Robertson, it might be hard to land those punches that Jimmy and Patsy hope will knock us out.

The 22 men are slimey. But they represent what happens when shame rules your life. What is rarely addressed when we (as a country) tear down a Larry Craig or Ted Haggard is what conditions pressure men (and women) into living a dangerous, lie-filled life. The lesson of these 22 mugshots continuing to live in shame.

Thresher Shark

2008-08-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

This is what I saw last night on an early evening dive at Redondo Beach:

The common thresher is harmless, but amazing. Conditions were perfect and we had amazing visibility. The shark was about 4 to 5 feet, not counting the wicked tail.

Taste in Men

2008-08-22T13:01:00.000-07:00

Because I clearly have HORRIBLE taste in men, like Laura Bush-horrible, I find the criticism of Michael Phelps interesting. Commenters on the gay blogs call him "ugly," "foul," and "over-hyped."

He's the greatest Olympic athlete of the modern era. He has more gold around his neck than Mr. T. And his mom, my lord, his mom is amazing. He's got an amazing body and a great, warm smile.

And sluts* like Amanda Beard say trash like this:

Eww, that’s nasty... Come on, I have really good taste. He’s really not my type.

She was interviewed by an Arizona shock-jock.

"I have never, ever hooked up with Michael Phelps," Beard said via telephone from Beijing on the "Johnjay and Rich Show," which is broadcast on Kiss FM 104.7 in Phoenix.

Beard, who has bared all for Playboy and appears in a sexy ad for PETA, also said she has never even kissed the 14-time Olympic gold-medalist.

I have no doubt she hasn't kissed Phelps, but I imagine his discerning taste might be more of the reason. Or perhaps, maybe, just maybe, not every Olympic swimmer has hooked up with every other Olympic swimmer.

I know Amanda Beard's boyfriend and I have to tell you, he ain't all that and a bag of chips. Maybe the greasy stain left on the napkin by the chips, but certainly not the chips themselves.

I love you Michael.

*For this post, I've decided that men or women who allow images of their privates be published in magazines and on web sites are sluts.

Meet Juror #8

2008-07-21T18:12:00.001-07:00

I finished Jury Duty today. It was the first time, after four previous invitations, that I made it to a jury. I figured I wouldn't get off as easy as before -- with three times not even having to show up at the courthouse -- because I was called to report to Los Angeles' downtown criminal courts building. Los Angeles' most serious cases are tried at this courthouse, primarily because of its proximity to the Mens Central Jail.

I haven't driven downtown in more than a year. It was a nostalgic journey that seemed to pass much quicker than it did when it was part of my daily grind and I was met on the other end by my nemesis, the spork lady, and a whole mix of untouchables that made up my team of co-workers.

I reported to the 11th floor, as my summons directed, and was greeted by a crowded hallway of less than jovial prospective jurors. I was tired and a little hot, as I was toting my laptop around with me. We filed into the Jury Assembly Room, which we were told was recently remodeled for our enjoyment. The staff then bragged about the excitement which was Jury Appreciation Week in May, during which they give out free treats and organize some sort of field trip. Our service was in July. Why exactly did we care about this? Perhaps it was attempt to distract us from the fact that the Jury Assembly Room did not have WiFi.

Please, someone explain to me why the Los Angeles County Superior Court, which boasts being the largest court of its kind with an operating budget of more than $850 million, can't spring for a couple of $35 wireless routers for its jurors? I work at a hospital that provides free WiFi throughout for its visitors. Not it's patients, but the visitors who are paying nothing to be in the building. Why can't the court do the same?

It wouldn't matter. After escorting away a group of 100+ prospective jurors for a trial expected to last 15 days, I was called in the next group. A motley bunch of 75. We were told that this trial was expected to last for no more than 8 days, so the court would be less likely to consider excuses related to hardship. We headed to the courtroom on the 9th floor.

We had to go through security again on the 9th floor. I beeped going through even though I didn't in the lobby just a couple of hours earlier and in the same clothes. This seemed weird. I would later learn that this is the only floor with additional security, and that the security is more thorough than in the lobby. We were, apparently, on the floor where they try only the most serious offenders. Our case was an alleged rape.

We were given randomly assigned numbers: 1 through 75. I had drawn number 46. Very high in the list for a jury that would need only 12 members. I had visions of being released that first day, unquestioned and unchosen. I'd be rejected even by the court.

The questioning started with a group of 27. Anyone with a passing familiarity with John Grisham could've guessed accurately at what questions would be asked. I have to say I was a little shocked by the answers. The Academy would be impressed by the measures some would take to avoid service. My dog is sick and needs medication every 2 hours. My college friend's cousin was date raped in 1942. I can't be objective, I just can't. Sitting here I know he did it. Many who left the first day would be returned to the jury pool. Maybe they'd end up on a longer case. Some would be sent to civil court where the trials are often much longer and more tedious. The devil you know. The devil you know.

By the end of the first day and after a serious round of peremptory challenges, the potential juror pool was slight. Very slight. I had gone from having a 34 person buffer between myself and the 12th seat in the box to being only 2 spots away from being juror number 8. By lunch on the second day, I would have found my home in Juror 8's seat. Not having been a victim of violent crime, not knowing anyone in law enforcement, not having any strong feelings about the crime, the accused, or the alleged victim, I was going to serve on this jury.

This was a Los Angeles jury. We were joined by 3 alternates. Of the 15, there were 3 Latinos (a woman and two men) with poor English skills. They were joined by another Latino man who was stoic but with gentle eyes and a young Latina who just graduated college. There was an African American woman, a teacher, and an African American man, a student. There was an Asian female teacher, an Asian man who had also just graduated from college, and the white Nurse and single mother of 2 girls getting ready for college. There was a young white woman who worked in the entertainment industry and older white man who was a retired mechanic. I can't forget the middle-aged writer from Burbank or the young father of 2 boys, a white guy from the San Gabriel Valley. And there was me, Juror #8.

We would decide this man's fate.

Several years ago, my father sat on the jury of a rape trial. I wonder what his experience was like, before there was DNA evidence. In our case, there was DNA evidence that conclusively linked the defendant to a sex act with the alleged victim. Now we need to know whose story to believe.

We sat through testimony for three days. Courtroom drama television shows do Americans a disservice. We think we have an idea of what trial is like. Jury Duty quickly destroys any romance created by Dick Wolf or David E. Kelly. Trial is tedious. Most questions are procedural. And no one asks the question you are thinking.

Attorneys are trying to prove their side, or, in the case of the defense, at least disprove a side. They aren't necessarily concerned with the truth. There will be information they will keep from you and you will resent them for it. You will have to use the evidence they decide you get to see to make a sound judgment.

Credibility plays an important part of this process. After our decision, walking back to the garage, one of the jurors who works with children said that she is going to use this experience to stress why it's important to be good citizens. Why no crime is a minor crime. A person's criminal record -- even if only minor crimes -- can be crippling in the future. It's hard to believe a felon. Very, very hard to believe a repeat felon. Very, very, very hard to believe a repeat felon for whom there is no evidence supporting his story.

We the jury... This is our job this week. After closing arguments that would make Alan Shore cry out in pain we were sent to the jury room. It was late in the day. Could we get anything done today? We could pick our foreman.

Guess who was the foreman? After a rough few months where I would question my own self-worth, I was once again reminded that I do have some remarkable traits and leadership is one of them. I didn't say or do much, but I was chosen by my peers as the foreperson.

This was important to me as well, as there is a pace, a clip to the way I do things and I work better when I have some control. That is a lesson I've learned in these months. I need some control. Jury Duty is not about control. Being a foreman is. I didn't make up people's minds for them or even try, but I got to structure the discussion and support those who could've been railroaded. Plus, I got to write on the board. And stand a lot. I like standing.

Halfway through the first full day of deliberations, at the lunch break, I was resigned to at least another day of this process. The evidence was clear to me, but there seemed to be some genuine resistance. But maybe the others sat and marinated in their thoughts over lunch as my french dip from Philipe's marinated in its own gravy and spicy mustard. Mmmm... spicy mustard.

After returning, things picked right up again and the conversation had an enlightened flow to it. Sensing that many arguments had been repeated, I suggested an anonymous poll. It came back unanimous. After about an hour or more of finalizing some details and wrapping up the technical aspects, we had completed the task before us.

Three buzzes for the bailiff and he'd start preparing all the necessary players. The ADA was there with a different hair style than she wore through all of last week. This was more humanizing and more feminine. I liked it. The defendant was there as well with his Public Defender. That must be the hardest job in the world.

Do Public Defenders make what District Attorneys do? I know San Francisco is one of the few municipalities that has a publicly elected Defender to match the prestige of the publicly elected District Attorney. Why does our judicial system, that just demanded 6 days from my life costing me hundreds of dollars, place such little value on the defense that is so critical to the system itself?

These are all questions for another time. Today, in this moment, the 12 of us, led by me, will have a major impact on human lives. One of these lives faces us.

Guilty.

He cried. As did a few jurors.

There are questions I have today. More than anything, the case was reopened 6 years after the crime. He almost got away with it. What changed?

What does this mean for the victim, a woman who has carried this with her for 8 years. Will she sleep better tonight? Who told her the news?

What will become of the defendant's family? His wife? His kids? Dad's been in jail for a long time, is tonight different? What is the state prepared to do to help this mother and her kids now?

What will be his sentence? This is California and he has quite a record. Was this his third strike?

I think it's good that these questions didn't come into my mind in that Jury Room.

The jury experience is unique. It must be the best system in the world, but the burden is extreme. Hundreds of dollars, which for me hurts enough, but for many in this jury I imagine it will be weeks before they recover. Emotionally, the result isn't nearly as fleeting. In a few weeks, most of the sting of seeing a grown man, a convicted rapist, break down in tears will subside. It may take longer for the humble images of a working single mother tearfully recounting a senseless and violent rape in her own home to drift out of my consciousness.

And for every day that these images remain, I am told 10,000 more Angelenos will funnel into Jury Assembly rooms across the county, deprived of WiFi and grumbling their dissatisfaction about their impending hardship. And on floors above and below, defendants, victims, DAs, and Defense Attorneys, are thanking God for those jurors and hoping for a fair shake and equal opportunity before the law.

Mormons Don't Support Redefining Marriage...

2008-06-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

...except when they do it. About 5 times in 150 years.

It was leaked out today that this weekend, California Mormons will be asked by their church to work to oppose same-sex marriage in their state. The LDS Church is up in arms because the California Supreme Court has endorse marriage equality, and in the church's opinion (and that of many religious ~~cult~~ leaders) strived to redefine a "5,000 year-old institution ordained by God."

I welcome the involvement of the Mormons because it might bring some due attention on the absurdity of this "5,000 year institution" argument. You might think marriage is ordained by God. You might think gays are icky. But you have no intellectual right to believe that marriage as it exist in American law is a 5,000 year-old institution. And Mormon polygamy, hot in the news these days, is a prime example.

At the founding of the church polygamy was expressly forbidden. Within a few years, it was mainstream practice with even church founder Joseph Smith having multiple wives. By the turn of the twentieth century, the church banned plural marriage again and began excommunicating its practioners, despite that fact that a church president who survived well in to the 40s was an avowed polygamist. Today, the church is adamantly opposed to polygamy. Mormons have redefined marriage nearly half a dozen times in 150 years.

Of course, I'm afraid of the gay-marriage/polygamy/beastiality comparisons that will surely spew from the mouths of evangelicals, but I welcome the death of the 5,000 year institution argument.

Can you be too gay?

2008-06-23T22:02:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty frickin' gay, but really...

Hope his friends love him.

Thanks Dan.

40 Year Old... What?

2008-06-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like a celebrity? I do.

After letting my manscaping get a little behind because I've been a little preoccupied recently, I decided to catch up. Ooops. Don't manscape at 6:00 AM. The new job has me waking up at normal hours again, and while I might be standing up, I am certainly not awake.

And that, my dear friends, is why I look like Steve Carell in the 40 Year Old Virgin... except I have a racing stripe down the middle of my chest and "abs" as opposed to the classic smiley.

Brian Davis for US Congress!

2008-06-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

Apparently I'm running for Congress! I've always wanted to be a Congressman. I also wanted to be a doctor. And a nuclear engineer. And an anti-gay, race-baiting bigot! Turns out my alter-ego Brian Davis has achieved everything I've ever wanted.

Except I have more MySpace friends. Seriously, dude, if you have 2 friends (one of whom is Tom!) take down the MySpace link from your website. It's shameful!

Now Here's an Idea...

2008-06-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

Airlines are grumbling about charging passengers more based on weight. Not baggage weight, but the passenger's own weight. Not such a bad idea.

Think about it. If my check bag is 2 pounds over the 50 lb limit, they charge $75. But if the guy two seats over weights 150 pounds more than me, he doesn't pay a penny more.

The main reason the airlines have weight limits on baggage is that a heavier plane uses more fuel, which makes the flight more expensive. So logic follows that a fatty costs the airline more. Make them pay.

I'm not saying that everyone who is a little overweight should have to fork over more cash, although the extra dough out of their hands might keep them from buying a few doughnuts, and the national health implications would be remarkable. But people who weigh an extreme amount, say more than 250 or 300 pounds, should be expected to pay a little more for that flight to Branson, Missouri.

Kid Rock, Uncle Kracker, and Kenny Chesney

2008-05-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

Carnac the Magnificent might reply, "What follows the four horsemen of the Apocalypse?"

In reality, these three men sum up my evening last night when I ventured downtown with Kristy, Amelia, Drake and my brother and his wife for the latest Kenny Chesney concert. It was a great show, and as with all his shows, he brought out a few special guests.

Last time I saw Kenny, he was joined on stage by Uncle Kracker and... Eddie Van Halen.

Uncle Kracker is a mainstay on tour with Kenny Chesney. Apparently he smokes a lot of pot and then sings three songs with Kenny. Did you know Uncle Kracker had two hits?

This time around, Uncle Kracker was on stage with Kenny and... Kid Rock! Kid Friggin' Rock at a country concert. Seriously, Kenny Chesney is the great Country Ambassador bringing worlds together!

On another note, people like to link Kenny Chesney to a homosexual relationship with his friend Peyton Manning. My question: Why isn't he ever accused of bumping uglies -- serious uglies -- with Uncle Kracker?

Who will oppose marriage equality in California?

2008-05-27T11:02:00.000-07:00

Seriously, is there any legitimate political leader who will champion marriage discrimination for the right wing?

Governor? Nope.
The 2 US Senators? No way.
One of the other 6 Statewide Elected Officials? None.
Mayor of the largest city, Los Angeles? Nope.
Mayor of the second largest city, San Diego? Not going to happen.
Mayor of the third largest city, San Jose? Another Democrat.
Mayor of the fourth largest city, San Francisco? Nu-uh.
Mayor of the fifth largest city, Long Beach? More Democrats.

I can't wait for this campaign.

By the way, have you seen the press conference that Republican San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders gave when he announced his support for Marriage Equality?

Hanging on to Equality

2008-05-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

On May 15, the California Supreme Court ruled in a 4-3 decision that the statewide ban on same-sex marriage, Proposition 22, was unconstitutional thus opening the door to same-sex marriage in the state. An initiative will likely appear on the November ballot to add a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. This is my amateur analysis.

How do we hold on to marriage equality? At the bar the night of the Supreme Court decision, almost every conversation included a little hesitance about the future of gay marriage. Sure, we won in the Supreme Court – which was good enough back in the 60s – but now we need to fear the voters and there’s a looming ballot initiative to put the pooper on gay marriage in the state constitution. And we’ve been here before… and we lost. Remember?

November 2008 is different than March 2000. The Knight Initiative passed when I was still in college and I’m turning 30 this year for crying out loud. California’s come a long way in 8 years – and people like George Bush will probably have done more to support gay marriage than they ever had hoped.

This November, California’s electorate will be polarized. A presidential contest is on the ballot. The Democrats are coming of an exciting and newsworthy primary contest that brought millions of new voters to the party. And our nominee will stand out starkly against the tired, old conservative politics of yesterday.

This is not March 2000. It’s easy for lazy news people to pull out Proposition 22 as a harbinger of doom for marriage equality. But, have they looked at the numbers and the circumstance of the last election in which marriage equality was on the ballot?

First, Proposition 22 was on a primary ballot. Partisan contests drive voters to the polls. Unfortunately for justice, the Democratic primary in 2000 was mostly a settled deal. There was no big, top-of-the-ticket battle driving progressive Democrats to the March 2000 primary. Despite a huge voter registration edge in California, only half as many votes were cast for Democrats as there were for Republicans. According to the Secretary of State, nearly 4.5 million votes were cast for Republican primary candidates while only 2.75 million were cast for Democratic primary candidates. Republicans had more than one reason to get out and vote in March – it wasn’t just the gays.

The primary election wasn’t a legitimate sign of what was in store. In November, Al Gore trounced Governor Bush in the Golden State, winning nearly one and a half million more votes. The trend continued in 2004 and 2006, when John Kerry and Barbara Boxer – 2 liberal Democrats – both won their statewide votes with more than one and a half million more votes than their conservative rivals. California is not a conservative state, despite the outcome of Proposition 22 and it would likely not have faired as well had it been on the general election ballot.

The second factor at play should there be an amendment on the ballot on November is star power. Who will support a gay-marriage ban being added to the constitution? The popular Republican governor has made repeated comments, including affirming it yesterday, that he will not support or campaign for a constitutional ban. The only other statewide elected official is a nearly unknown Insurance Commissioner who is probably more liberal than Governor Schwarzenegger. The Republican nominee for President opposed a Federal Amendment enshrining discrimination into the Constitution, and has repeatedly set the issue should be left to the states to settle, as we did a few weeks ago. Where would be John McCain’s legitimate argument to be the spokesperson on behalf of discrimination?

On the opposing side, the starting line-up is full of titans of California politics who have made strong statements of support for equality. Just behind Governor Schwarzenegger, you have the two big-city mayors who might want his job, Gavin Newsom and Antonio Villaraigosa. Don’t underestimate what Gavin Newsom will do to protect his legacy. This is his issue and he’s owned it and championed it for 4 years. I expect he will spend a small fortune, which he’ll have no trouble raising, to defeat an amendment. He might ride this issue right into the Governor’s mansion, which is being re-made by First Lady Maria Shriver, no doubt another big name opponent to an amendment. Maybe Republican San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders will campaign against the amendment, especially after his tear-feared public reversal on marriage equality. Mayor Sanders went through the same process most of California will go through in November, realizing that his family is personally touched by this issue and that political grandstanding fails when it breaks up your own family.

Finally, maybe we might just be surprised by what voters can do when it really matters, when it really counts. This primary season showed us how exciting it can be to be part of history. Millions of Democrats, progressive independents, and history-minded Republicans were thrilled to cast ballots for the either the first woman or first African American to be nominated as president. Maybe that energy is all it takes, to be part of history and be able to tell your children that you got to vote on someone’s human integrity and you voted the right way.

Balls In Your Mouth

2008-04-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

What's a great way to start your day? With... BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH!
What makes everything seem great? BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH!
What keeps you from being hungry, smoking or biting your fingernails? BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH.

When trying to express oneself, it's frankly quite absurd,
To leaf through lengthy lexicons to find the perfect word.
A little spontaniaty keeps conversation keen,
You need to find a way to say, precisely what you mean...

BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH!

It's my new expression. It's like Aloha or Ciao. It can mean a lot of things. Maybe it's something you want to achieve... Or a way to express your exuberant joy... Or to stumble past something a little more vulgar...

B.I.Y.M.

A Ripple of Hope

2008-04-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King. A lot was said about this infamous anniversary. Most politicians had something to share, including the embarrassing comments by Senator John McCain explaining his opposition to the Martin Luther King Holiday, which was really nothing more than pandering racism. All that was said paled in comparison to what Senator Robert Kennedy had to say back in 1968, a few shorts months before he was assassinated himself.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I'm only going to talk to you just for a minute or so this evening, because I have some -- some very sad news for all of you -- Could you lower those signs, please? -- I have some very sad news for all of you, and, I think, sad news for all of our fellow citizens, and people who love peace all over the world; and that is that Martin Luther King was shot and was killed tonight in Memphis, Tennessee.

Martin Luther King dedicated his life to love and to justice between fellow human beings. He died in the cause of that effort. In this difficult day, in this difficult time for the United States, it's perhaps well to ask what kind of a nation we are and what direction we want to move in. For those of you who are black -- considering the evidence evidently is that there were white people who were responsible -- you can be filled with bitterness, and with hatred, and a desire for revenge.

We can move in that direction as a country, in greater polarization -- black people amongst blacks, and white amongst whites, filled with hatred toward one another. Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand, and to comprehend, and replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand, compassion, and love.

For those of you who are black and are tempted to fill with -- be filled with hatred and mistrust of the injustice of such an act, against all white people, I would only say that I can also feel in my own heart the same kind of feeling. I had a member of my family killed, but he was killed by a white man.

But we have to make an effort in the United States. We have to make an effort to understand, to get beyond, or go beyond these rather difficult times.

My favorite poem, my -- my favorite poet was Aeschylus. And he once wrote:

Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget
falls drop by drop upon the heart,
until, in our own despair,
against our will,
comes wisdom
through the awful grace of God.

What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love, and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or whether they be black.

So I ask you tonight to return home, to say a prayer for the family of Martin Luther King -- yeah, it's true -- but more importantly to say a prayer for our own country, which all of us love -- a prayer for understanding and that compassion of which I spoke.

We can do well in this country. We will have difficult times. We've had difficult times in the past, but we -- and we will have difficult times in the future. It is not the end of violence; it is not the end of lawlessness; and it's not the end of disorder.

But the vast majority of white people and the vast majority of black people in this country want to live together, want to improve the quality of our life, and want justice for all human beings that abide in our land.

And let's dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and for our people.

Thank you very much.

This has been a hard week for me, a week in which I've been faced with very difficult times. I was reminded this week that it is often worse for so many others. Talking to Suzanne, she share with me her last day in her 29th year, and I sat in awe of what so many young children endur daily. Martin Luther King, just a few weeks before his life was taken, spoke of how "we shall overcome" so much adversity that lies ahead.

But not Suzanne or Martin Luther King could give words to what I have been feeling as well as Robert Kennedy.

Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget
falls drop by drop upon the heart,
until, in our own despair,
against our will,
comes wisdom
through the awful grace of God.

Those words, written 1,000s of years before in Greek, seem to resonate like few things I've heard over the past few months. With my flirtations with aethism and agnosticism, my repulsion from institutions long cherished, can be summed up in that single line, "through the awful grace of God."

God doesn't exist to solve our problems, pay our bills, bring us victory in the Super Bowl. God exists. We define our relationship and our rewards. A belief does not guarentee greatness. Greatness is sought, fought for, and clung to. God's greatness is liberating and profound, but also painful and real. Churches which rely on a message of hope and great gifts demand a faith in a benevolent power which will solve problems, defying the human experience. The realness of God might mean that there is pain, and through that pain may be found wisdom. You don't get many crisp twenties in the collection plate with that, but it doesn't mean its less true.

You can learn so much more about Kennedy's speech, a speech which may have saved a city, here. Or watch the original speech here.

Where Stupidity, Religion and Politics Mix

2008-04-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

Source

That guy.

2008-04-04T02:41:00.001-07:00

Does it ever end?

"I've got something to tell you."

2008-04-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

I saw this photo on Towleroad today and thought it was interesting. The CDC let get out a really deceptive report that made it sound like every gay man was a petri dish for virulent bacteria. Apparently, one gay man's less-than-gay-friendly father was concerned about the report.

I wonder how many parents of gay kids, friends of gay people, co-workers of, you know, homosexuals, still associate the gayity with an ugly virus, illness, and deviant sex. I wonder how many people think of images from "And the Band Played On" and "Ass Captains 7" as the first thing when their loved ones finally come out to them.

Will it be different for the next generation, a little farther removed from K-S lesions and funerals by the dozen?

Source

Disappointing Leadership

2008-04-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt that I've lost a little fire in the belly. I used to eat, breathe, and drink politics. Culminating in 2004, when I gave 30 hours a week to Howard Dean, received the Democratic Nomination for State Assembly, and was writing like a mad man about local politics, I trailed off dramatically.

Scuba gets blamed for much of it. But so does the disastrous campaign of John Kerry and the ridiculous dearth of principled leadership in partisan politics. The mayor of Los Angeles whores for the cameras more than the governor of New York likes whores. The speaker of the California assembly hands our golden parachutes to public employees while the former governor of New Jersey basks in golden showers.

Today I was reminded of one of those moments when my faith in politics was chipped away at just a little. Gov. George Ryan, the Republican Governor of Illinois, halted all state executions and finally commuted the sentences of every person on the Illinois' death row. He said he did it because the justice system has demonstrated that it is not fool-proof and we certainly can't take a human life based on the processes of a broken system. He pointed to things like more than 100 death row inmates have later been exonerated through infallible evidence post-conviction but prior to execution. A jury of your peers is not omniscient.

But maybe, just maybe, Gov. Ryan was trying to shield himself from the scrutiny of this:

Click here and listen to this little story.

Thanks, Paul, for reminding me not to get to excited about the presidential race because I'll likely end up disappointed again.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16182655

I want to be a cowboy...

2008-03-27T17:41:00.001-07:00

Like many teenagers, I had bad -- maybe horrible -- taste in music. Some of my favorites were inspired by having older brothers who were teenagers through much of the 80s. The music they liked in college may have dribbled down, a realization Suzanne and I came to a few weeks back when we were celebrating Toad the Wet Sprocket at a Glenn Phillips show only to realize we were the youngest people in the room.

My fascination with 80s sugar-pop, maybe a little new wave, is solely my own fault -- and maybe Suzanne's a little. There were about 4 80s CDs in constant rotation in Vendala, my 1986 Civic that I slaughtered on Magic Mountain Parkway. My copy of our favorite one, featuring the song below, was so horribly worn out because our "CD player" was a boom box that usually had to sit on someone's lap. (I did manage to have a CD player installed in time for Vendala's untimely passing.)

A few weeks ago, Suzanne burned me a copy of that classic 80s hit album so I'd never be without it. And now you can enjoy the video of one of the cheesiest songs ever recorded:

Other classics on the album include Putting on the Ritz, Pop Goes the World, Funkytown (but not the disco version), and Axel F from Beverly Hills Cop.

What Really Matters?

2008-03-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

Brack Obama recently spoke at a rally in Medford, Oregon, using a speech about wedge issues that he's rolled out throughout the state. It's interesting because I'm familiar with Oregon; my brother's went to college just outside of Medford. Oregon is an interesting state politically that's been battling some demons. It's not a huge state, but it is as politically diverse as a behemoth like its neighbor to the south, California. Oregon has been haunted by equality fights over the past decade. Once thought to be an early-pioneer test ground for marriage, it's not caught up in a constant stuggle over basic rights. And this is where Seantor Obama decided to say this:

The reason that we have to talk about and deal with these divisions is because we get distracted every political season and election cycle by these divisions. And then we end up ignoring these big problems. Think about what these last few election cycles have been about. We argue about immigration, but we don't try to solve the immigration problem. It's an argument that is all about people's passions instead of trying to figure it out. We argue about gay marriage. In the meantime the planet is...potentially being destroyed. We've got a war that is bankrupting us. And we're going to argue about gay marriage? (applause) I mean, that...doesn't make any sense.

We argue about gay marriage because "principle progressive leaders" don't exist to speak out bravely and boldy in defense of civil rights and against the new apartheid state.

What I am most afraid about Democratic nominee Barack Obama is that he will sell us out to the right. Ironic, since he was like the most liberal senator or something of the sort; I heard it on Fox News. My friends that support him criticize Hillary -- and typically Bill, too -- by talking about how she's a hawk, how the Clinton years were a disappointment, and how we need a new leader that can bring America together.

Guess what? Conservatives don't want to sit down at the table and give me half of what I want if I concede to half of what they want. Politics is war with balloons and less polling. We convince the majority of Americans to support our candidates and then our candidates rule.

Have you ever asked yourself why the British flag doesn't fly over American buildings? Because the British lost the war.

Conservatives have spent the past 8 years denying every modest movement in a more progressive direction. They have used all their energy to villify people like Barack Obama who support tolerance, oppose the war, and want to invest in our future. Why give in to them?

Marriage equality is not a wedge issue. It's a bread-and-butter issue for about 30 million Americans and those that care about them. It's about fairness. It's about justice. It's about segregation. And taxation. And health care. And education. And employment. To 30 million Americans it is as important as things like the war and global warming.

Do you need more examples besides my landlord?

Two friends of mine are in a relationship and "registerred Domestic Partners." In California, that ugly term is about the same as civil marriage. Lesbo 1 has a job with great health benefits. They'll cover Domestic Partners. Lesbo 2 needs the coverage, so they take it. Just like how my dad's been under my mom's health insurance for about 35 years. Except the lesbians get a 1099 at the end of the year. Lesbo 2's coverage is considered income and they must pay income tax on the insurance benefits that my dad would never have had to pay.

Every time that Barack Obama says something stupid like...

We argue about gay marriage. In the meantime the planet is...potentially being destroyed. We've got a war that is bankrupting us. And we're going to argue about gay marriage? I mean, that...doesn't make any sense.

...I'm gonna try to remind us all why he needs to really lead and not just prance around on stage dressed like a leader and reading a leaders lines.

Source: Towleroad.

More Bryan

2008-03-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

I was Bryan... again... today at Starbucks.

I hate that Starbucks. I prefer to be Brent at Coffee Bean where at least people order coffee. The five -- yes FIVE -- people in line in front of me did not order coffee! Breakfast sandwiches and juice, or water! Friggin' water! I thought Starbucks was getting rid of those nasty smelling sandwiches!

Say My Name, Say My Name

2008-03-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

Do you know what it's like to have people consistently misspell your name? How would you feel if about half the time they misspelled your name for a version that isn't remotely as common?

Brian is a name of Celtic origins believed to mean, "noble" or "high". It's a great name with a 1,000 year old tradition. It was popularized in, like, the 11th Century by King Brian Boru who defended his kingdom in Ireland from Norse invaders. What a guy!

Bryan is a name of illiterate origins often credited as meaning a "variation of Brian."

In the 1970s -- when I was born -- "Brian" was the 8th most common boys name. It hovered in the top 20 until 1991, when it finally slipped down to 30th. But the name is still popular. It has been in the top 100 boys names in the United States for more than 60 years.

"Bryan" on the other hand, is another case. It took over a decade later until the name slipped into the top 100. It's never broken the rank of top 30 names.

Yet, the people at Coffee Bean and Starbucks always -- well at least half the time if not more often -- write "Bryan" on the side of my cup... like I'm drinking someone else's latte.

Ugh.

Oh, but today, I was Brent. (I was tired and must have slurred my speech.)

Amen

2008-03-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

My friend Troy has some thoughts on Seantors Obama's "groundbreaking" speech on race and his run for the presidency of the United States...

The Audacity of Hypocrisy

In order to form a more perfect union…
All men are created equal…
Land of the free…

Yesterday I, along with millions of other Americans, watched Senator Obama give the first real speech on race relations and discrimination by a politician in 40 years. It was a moment staged to be revolutionary. It was a moment of supposed self-reflection and reconciliation. It was a moment where we were to look inward and see that racism is in all our lives and that by pretending it doesn’t exist, is to limit our country from healing.

Senator Obama held a mirror up for all of us to look in. White, black, Asian, Native American, red states and blue states. We were to see that if we are not part of the solution, then we are part of the problem and that if we truly wish to be the Land of the Free then we need to work together and be honest with ourselves. Today I hold up that mirror up for the Senator to look in.

How can you stand and deliver a speech on equality, to talk about the kitchen-table-discrimination that our country perpetuates and yet still not support the rights of millions of Americans who only wish to marry the person they love? Do you not see this as discrimination? Do you not see that you are telling a group of citizens that they cannot have the same rights as you? Do you not see that saying you can have civil unions while everyone else marries is the same as saying you have a seat on the bus, but only in the back of the bus because you are not like us?

In your speech you talked of Rev. Wright as being a man whom you admire but who does not always represent you in what he says. How is it that you can compartmentalize your belief system when it has to do with your Reverend and his impact on your political status, but you cannot compartmentalize your belief system from the church when it comes to delivering equality to the only group in America that is still institutionally discriminated against?

On your website you wrote, "And I should say that personally, I do believe that marriage is between a man and a woman." Well let me say this. There were people who believed that interracial marriages should be illegal and like you, they were wrong. Two people who love each other and who are committed to one another should have the same rights, no matter their race, creed or sexual orientation.

You sir, discriminate. You sir, are guilty of the same sins as those who believed that blacks should not have the same rights as whites. You speak of equality and yet you legislate and preach discrimination. I find that hypocrisy unforgivable.

We have three candidates in this election and not one of you has had the courage to stand up and say the discrimination is universally wrong. I hear about racism every day. I hear of sexism every day. I never hear about the one group that is still legally discriminated against. Homosexuals. I understand that it’s a politically sensitive area, but I am looking for a President with the courage to do what’s right.

Let me be clear about this clear Senator Obama. We were fed to the lions with the Christians. We were gassed and shot with the Jews. We have been hung from trees, dragged behind trucks and left to rot in the sun just like African Americans. We were here from the beginning of time and will be here until the end of time.

If you dare to speak of equality, then dare to fight for equality.

I want change too, Senator…

Troy is right. Obviously, some will say, "The speech was about race, no gay rights." Some will say blacks have suffered more, or differently, or that Starbucks burns their coffee. All three of those things don't matter.

We live in an apartheid state. Segregation -- legal segregation by the government -- exists today, in 2008. And our leaders, both progressive and conservative, are content to let it continue so they don't "lose" an election. Problem is we all lose. My former landlord who lost his lover of 30 years and was forced to sell their home because he got no pension benefits loses. The mother who has her kids taken from her for no reason other than she is a lesbian loses. The thousands of children who could be welcomed in to the loving homes with 2 gay parents lose. And Obama hides behind church and 5,000 years of oppression, female ownership, slavery, and hypocrisy -- a tradition which his own denomination, the United Church of Christ has rejected by supporting full marriage equality.

Ayudame!

2008-03-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

Ever have a really weird thing happen that you just need to tell someone?

I've been watching the diet a little, cutting out High Fructose Corn Syrup. Not because I need to lose weight or anything, we all know I'm pretty hot, but because that shit is whack! Seriously, read up on good ol' HFCS. ...but, sometimes, some mornings, you just need a little something. Mmmm... donuts!

I love donuts! I've loved them ever since I was a little kid and my dad would get up at 5:00 AM on the weekend to get to the donut shop before the pickings were slim. Today, I craved a donut and I knew I was gonna drive past a donut shop on the way in to work. So I pulled in to a parking lot full of day laborers.

This seems like a weird place for them to gather. There's no hardware store nearby. It's a small shopping center with a liquor store and a donut shop, and that's about it. Strangely, the donut shop is exactly across the street from the LAPD's Pacific Divsion station house. But there they were. Eager to work. So eager, in fact, that when I pulled in to the lot in my pick-up truck, I got swarmed and one fella even jumped in to the bed of my truck. Don't go get donuts, driving a pick-up truck, in a parking lot full of day laborers.

They were very polite when I explained I just wanted donuts. The gentleman in the back got out, and they all returned to their exact spots, as if they were blocked by a stage director, and continued with their waiting.

Seriously, that's a story I can't keep to myself. And there's only one person I could call. He's always there for my crazy observations. Like the time the woman working at Barnes & Noble asked if I wanted to donate a book to school "lie-berry", I just had to call someone. (I did donate out of fear that another child would graduate from school thinking a library was called a "lie-berry.")

Thank you, Chris, for being there!

Oh, and I ended up not getting the donut. Donut shops in 2008 are sad, sad places.

8 Months.

2008-03-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

If you were going to make a movie about my life, you could call it "8 Months." My life runs in 8 month cycles. Funny, because it's like elections, which often run about the same...

Every 8 months I start looking for ways to change things dramatically. New job. New friends. New home. I mean, I've had like 13 roommates in 10 years:

Peter - Mondo - Suzanne - George - Chris - Brad - Ethan - A Different Chris - Ron - Beth - Michelle - Jamie - Ben

I've lived in 8 places in 10 years, without really every venturing out of Los Angeles:

On Campus - Mar Vista - Studio City - Home Again - Burbank - North Hollywood - Hancock Park - Playa del Rey

I've had a good number of jobs that I don't even want to start on.

Wow. 8 months. That's like an old television season, if we still had television seasons.

So, at 8 months I get antsy for something. A few weeks ago, my brother innocently stirred things up in the family. Things seemed to have settled but I'm haunted by something my sister (in-law) said about how when things are going well, he shakes things up. Like we feed on chaos. My family life growing up was great -- no real complaints at all -- but it definately was chaotic. A house with 3 boys, an overworked father, a fiesty Irish momma; there's bound to be some chaos. Maybe it was mom's mood swings, or so much activity being shifted by school calendars, swim seasons, and family vacations, but I think my body -- not just my mind -- has become dependment on that chaos. Stability beware.

I'm tired. But still trying to think how to mix it up even though 2008 has me trapped!

Do you need to Give Big?

2008-03-03T08:50:00.000-08:00

Last night, I came home from a big day of diving at Catalina's Casino Point in Avalon. I have a great class that has really grown on me, but the conditions weren't very good. I was also working with a stand-out Divemaster candidate named Reza. It'll be great when he's an instructor! When I came home, I took a bath, read a little and then turned on the television to woo me to sleep. And I remembered at the last minute that last night was the premiere of Oprah's Big Give.

The show was Sunday Sappy at it's best. Surely a line-up of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Oprah's Big Give could send much of America into Diabetic coma. It was impressive to see people doing so much for people who've been dealt a raw deal. But America has a lot of people playing with a rough deck. And while Oprah can make you feel good about yourself, her show can't really make a difference on the large scale.

But Reza can.

I spent the day working with him and saw and loved something about him. The way Reza interacts with people is astonishing. He introduces himself to almost everyone he meets. He chats up everyone. The driver of the baggage truck, the woman filling scuba tanks, the women serving Bloody Marys on the boat, the waiter at the pizza joint. And then he addresses people by name. And he asks them how they are doing... and listens long enough to hear the answer. You could see the reaction in many of these people and it was beautiful. In fact, the Bloody Mary ladies told us that speaking with us was the highlight of their day.

I learned from Reza something I always knew. You don't need to Give Big like Oprah. You just need to give. Even a little will matter.

Bitch is the New Black!

2008-02-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

Amen Tina Fey! I ended up voting for Hillary in the Democratic Primary. Despite how Daily Kos wants to act like Hillary can't win shit -- except, you know, California, New York and Masschusetts -- I was proud to cast my vote for the winner of the California Primary. You well know I started out a John Edwards man. Well, that's not true. I was really a Gore man, but he wouldn't run. John Edwards was my "heart choice," because he spoke to the issues that I care about and love. He spoke about the poor, and failing schools, and universal health care, and he ran standing side by side with those on the gulf coast, and in America's big cities, and along with the working poor of Apalachia. But, my heart rarely wins elections.

Hillary Clinton is the candidate of my mind. She will kick ass from day one. She was part of the most successful administration in two generations. She saw first hand the mistakes made by an over-reaching President who didn't "have Congress," and she has spent 7 years in the United States Senate learning how to work as one among 535 and how to be an effective agent of change. And in 2008, we need a woman, a bitch you might say. Because, frankly, bitches get things done!

If Tuesday doesn't go the way we need it to, I will gladly vote for and support Barack Obama. But I think he's got a tough road ahead. I don't know if polls 8 months out against John McCain guarentee easy sailing. I mean, in June Hillary was a shoo-in for the Democratic nomination and John McCain's future career was that on the book-writing, lecture-giving circuit. I will be sad because I think the best candidate left will have to return to kicking ass for people of New York.

But... if you want to get on the Hill-bandwagon, it's not too late. My friend Kevin helped me make these awesome Tina inspired shirts:

make custom gifts at Zazzle

Whose Fundamentalist is Better?

2008-02-25T19:38:00.000-08:00

Today, on Towleroad, I got a little introduction to an interesting article about sex changes in Iran.

Apparently, in Iran under the laws of the Islamic revolution you can legally have gender reassignment surgery, and the government -- the fundamentalist Islamic government -- will pay for up to half of the costs.

They still hang gay teenagers and stone rape victims, but this little piece is interesting. It seems that for those diagnosed as transexuals, a medical diagnosis based in science, the government allows for the change.

Funny, because our type of fundamentalists don't believe in science, but yet even the horrible dictatorial regime of Iran has been more forward thinking than the Christian fundies of the United States.

Army of Lovers made me gay!

2008-02-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

I think this video made me gay:

Eva -- my dive buddy and Eurotrash pop music dealer -- sent me this video today after I spent the weekend making a boat full of divers listen to this song, as sung by me!

I first saw this video in my freshman or sophomore year of high school. I was harboring some secret feelings that I hadn't told anyone. That's not easy for my personality type. It might be why I don't keep secrets well these days. Why not tell everyone, if I keep it in, maybe no one will ever know.

I was watching MTV at around 2:00 AM, back when they used to play music videos. When I couldn't sleep, or didn't want to sleep, I would stay up late and hope to catch something scandalous on television. This video was scandalous.

What was a young, closeted gay boy to do? Apparently, never forget the video and let it haunt my memory for about 15 years.

3 Words

2008-02-15T00:21:00.001-08:00

Wednesday Night

2008-02-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

Last night's dream wasn't nearly as detailed as Tuesday night's but it was still vivid. Maybe even more. Last night I dreamnt that my father died.

In the dream, I got a call from my mother but because I've had my phone silenced a lot recently, I didn't see she had called for hours. I drove to the hospital in the Valley and sat outside on the curb for a long time before going in.

That was most of the dream.

This one was bad and shook me to the core. I haven't spoken with my father -- not in the "I'm not speaking to you" sense, I just haven't spoken with him -- since the accident. My parents handled it shittily and essentially ignored it. I didn't hear from my mother for over a week. My mother rarely goes more than 4 days without calling for no reason whatsoever. That week, she went a whole week. My dad, in the background on that conversation, said he didn't call because I "don't answer my phone."

I know I just wanted my family to reach out to me when I was going through that and they didn't. That upset me and I struggled with it all week. It was made worse with the fact that my roommate's mom was in town the whole time and was very comforting and supportive.

But I was struck with the pain of unresolved feelings in this dream. The things we don't say that we might not ever have the chance to say... the finality of things, really.

Tuesday Night

2008-02-07T11:24:00.000-08:00

I was back working at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center. Whenever I have a work dream, it's always staged there. Our Development staff was hanging out in our center room and we had a newish staff person. It was a woman I worked with at Inner City, a job I had after the Gays, but thats not important. This woman was cool, very smart, and better than most of the tools at that job, but she was a little radical and revolutionary.

Well, I made one of my typical off-color comments and she had walked in on it and was offended. When I went to defend the remark and apologize or whatever else I had in mind, I couldn't remember her name. I couldn't remember a co-workers name right in front of her. But it got worse. I couldn't remember anyone's name in the group. I forgot what some of the objects in the room were called. It crescendoed in not being able to remember my own name, resulting in a breakdown. The woman -- whose name is Allegra by the way -- and the CEO of the agency, who I always hated, tried to console me and decided to take me to the hospital. They both walked me to the elevator.

Once in side, Allegra turned into this interesting fella that I met recently and who was in the group of people I was hanging out with Tuesday night for reals. I only know a little of this guy and I can't think of any other time when someone I just met so quickly found a way into my dreams. The three of us -- this fella, the CEO, and me -- walked to his truck, a Honda Ridgeline, so he could drive me to the hospital. Once there, the mega-bitch CEO was cradling me like a child and the fella was holding my hand and wiping my face with a cloth wearing Allegra's clothing from earlier in the dream. (Not women's clothing, but pseudo-revolutionary garb. Like something Kim from work might wear.) I woke up around then.

Some of my questions:
Why do all my work dreams take place at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center? I've worked at 12 places in my entire life and over the past few years, every work dream has been there and they are coming much more frequently recently.

Why did Allegra, a woman I only worked with a few months at Inner City make an appearance at the Gay & Lesbian Center in this dream?

Did I have a stroke? Too much stress? What happened to cause me to forget all these things?

Why did the fella make an appearance and why did he assume Allegra's role in the very beginning?

Why do I remember the detail of his truck so well? Especially since the fella really drives a Saab? Where did the Honda Ridgeline come from?

Dreams

2008-02-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

I'm not much of a dreamer, maybe because I'm livin' the dream! But there is no doubt that what happened almost 3 weeks ago has had a big impact on my life. Dealing with everything that day was more than I think my fragile mind can handle.

It first manifested in exhaustion. I actually felt "intellectually tired," it was wearing to simply think of things. For a couple of days I spent hours actually doing nothing. Staring at a wall. Lying in bed with my face in the pillow.

Then it was anger. When I went to Portland, I was in the height of this. I was angry with just about everything and everyone. I hated people that are overweight, I hated laziness, I hated noise. Thankfully, much of the anger is subsided but not entirely.

I also felt alone.

Finally, last weekend, came the rush of emotions. I spent a day off, an entire day off, in bed. I didn't shower. I only got up twice, once to pee and once to make dinner. I warmed up some Macraroni & Cheese... too hot. So I needed to cool it off. I put it in the freezer, but the plate fell and dumped out. I lost it and had a complete breakdown. The irony, the mac and cheese fell into an empty, clean bowl in the freezer so there wasn't a mess and my dinner was easily salvageable.

Now, with things wrapping up -- my last days with students that were on the boat with me are slipping by -- the remnants have found their way into my dreams.

I've had a particularly vivid and traumatic dream each night for the past two nights. I will write about them.

Great Acheivements in Douchebaggery VI

2008-02-07T10:46:00.000-08:00

Anyone, including former Olympic Organizing Committee Chair - former Governor - former Presidential Frontrunner - former and once-again douchebag Mitt Romney, who using the phrase "unelected judges" to disparage a decision they don't agree with is a Great Douchebag.

You see, the rules of the game were set out pretty early. Oh, about 200+ years ago a bunch of old white men set those rules with the writing and adoption of the United States Constitution. No person who hopes to one day swear "to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States" should approach that job capitalizing on the lameness of 1/3 of it.

Mitt Romney dropped out of the GOP presidential race today with these words, and certainly other douchey ones:

"The development of a child is enhanced by having a mother and father. Such a family is the ideal for the future of the child and for the strength of a nation. I wonder how it is that unelected judges, like some in my state of Massachusetts, are so unaware of this reality, so oblivious to the millennia of recorded history. It is time for the people of America to fortify marriage through constitutional amendment, so that liberal judges cannot continue to attack it!"

Mitt, and other douchebags, judges needn't be elected because Governors and Presidents that appoint them are. The accountability lies at the hands of the people who appointed them. If the voters are dissatisfied enough, then they can turn out those men and women who make the appointments as well as their parties. (5 of the current 7 justices were appointed by Republicans. Maybe that's why Romney's successor was a Democrat who won with a huge majority.) And the upside, the judges themselves needn't be concerned with popular will but what the constitution -- of the country or the state -- demands.

I am sick and tired of douchebags that don't respect the Constitution but claim to be more patriotic, even American, than people like me. Andrew Sullivan, the pseudo-conservative, put it great when evaluating the Bush administration's mishandling of... well... everything:

(paraphrasing) The President does not swear an oath that no Americans will die in an act of terror under his watch, he takes an oath to protect and defend the Constitution and that should always be his first priority. That is how we win this "war".

Previous douchebags:

Katie Couric
Rudy Guiliani
Mitt Romney
Tim Hardaway
Terrence Howard

Worst. Week. Ever.

2008-01-24T22:04:00.000-08:00

It's 10:06 on Thursday night. In one hour and fifty-four minutes, the worst week of my life will be over. This exact time last week I was in the ER of UCLA medical center trying to console my roommate Ron who was trying to pass me off as his brother.

-- Ron is 6'4" tall, dark, thin, and Italian. --

Beth had a seizure and we had no idea why. We still don't although it's either viral or hormonal most likely. But her recovery was hard.

Then Sunday, on a dive boat, something shitty happened. Damian, something you fear the most.

It's sucked dealing with this. And I spent most of the week being the strong one despite really being quite weak. My alone times have been the hardest. And, frankly, those that know and are closest have been horribly disappointing... to an extreme, almost unforgivable level. I feel alone.

But tomorrow it's a new week. A new period of 7 days. I'm going to see Garth Brooks on tickets I freakishly got on the worst day of my life. And Saturday I'm going to Oregon thanks to my sister-in-law and brother. Maybe 2008 its just coming 25 days late...

Wii Get Beat When Wii are Bad!

2007-12-27T23:09:00.000-08:00

I played Wii for the first time this week, when I managed to beat a 7 year old at Wii Tennis. And I had an epiphany...

How many children could be saved if Nintendo created Wii Child Abuse. In this game, you beat the crap out of your Mii off-spring. No bruises or permanent emotional scars. Better yet, no jail time!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

When I was 6 years old, Bob Geldoff assembled his rock star friends to write and record this song. 20 years later, they re-recorded it because it parts of this world, conditions continue to worsen.

Let's remember when we are with our families this week that we are lucky to have what we have and to be who we are... and to hope and pray for something better for much of the world.

Peace.

Dear Elder Romney, smoke much pot do you?

2007-12-13T17:53:00.000-08:00

"Let me, uh, let me offer just a thought. And that is, uh, one of the great things about this great land, is we have people of different faiths and different persuasions. And uh, I'm convinced that the nation, that the nation does need, the nation does need to have people of different faiths but we need to have a person of faith lead the country."

Mitt Romney is pissed at Mike Huckabee because Rev. Mike is attacking Romney's religion. Romney believes that as along as a candidate has a religion, that religion should not be considered critically prior to his successful journey to the presidency. The problem as that while Romney thinks it would be okay to attack the beliefs of a person not subscribing to traditional relgious dogma, he wants his religion to remain as unscuffed as his holy underwear. This is absurd.

I've been raised in and spent plenty of time by choice in the Catholic Church. These days I've started considering the absurdity of what is most of Christianity. Drinking my Peppermint Mocha at Starbucks right now, I should be preparing for the celebration of a virgin birth of a Jew to a 13 year old girl in a manger among talking animals. 30 years later, I'm to believe this man cheats death, walks the Earth for 40 more days, and somehow saved my life, eventhough I'll still die anyway. (If God wants us to live eternally in Heaven, why not here on Earth with all my friends and SCUBA equipment?)

And while this is all pretty lame, do you know what Mormon's believe?

That God wasn't born God, but got that way through some hard work.
That God is married.
That if you are a good human, and work hard -- and certainly tithe -- then you can become a god in the afterlife.
That you existed before your body as a spirit.
When you are a god, you can make little body-less spirits, too.
That Jesus volunteered for service back when he was a body-less spirit. Mostly because he was willing to follow God's plan, while Satan, Jesus' spirit brother had some ideas of his own. (ed: How very anti-entrepreneurial!)
That the LDS church is the only "true church on Earth." (ed: Sorry, 1 billion Catholics.)
That it took God about 1800 years after Christ to finally get around to telling someone in the world that all the other churches were wrong. (ed: He creates the world in 6 days, but takes 1800 years to tell the people they are on the wrong track.)
That God and Jesus both visited Joseph Smith personally to tell him how screwed up we all are.
That Adam, who may have been God at some time, once chose to live in Missouri. (ed: No doubt in a 3,000 square foot tract house nearby a Wal Mart.)
That the Book of Mormon, "the most true book ever written," was given to Smith on tablets by an angel, written in a foreign, unrecognizable language, but Smith used special stones to translate it.

I could go on, but that Peppermint Mocha I just finished is dying to come out...

All this is to say that just because you call it a "religion" doesn't mean its any different from the mumbling ramblings of a crazy homeless man.

Sources:
http://dearelder.com/index/inc_name/Mormon/title2/What_Do_Mormons_Believe
http://www.allaboutcults.org/what-do-mormons-believe.htm
http://www.gotquestions.org/Mormons.html
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/faq/
http://www.shiblon.com/beliefs/what-do-mormons-believe.php

Would you cross a picket line?

2007-12-09T22:07:00.000-08:00

Same answer to this question: Do you want me to kick your ass?

And because I love him so...

Update: See Damian, I fixed it.

And Mussolini had the trains running on time…

2007-12-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

My friend Christopher, whose blog is one of my regulars and whose link I need to correct, has been writing recently about Peter Lababera’s recent criticism of the Folsom Street Fair and Nancy Pelosi’s refusal to condemn the event that Peter L. finds so offensive.

It’s been interesting to read Christopher’s insights. I should begin with saying that I definitely respect his right to feel this way and appreciate that he’s given serious thought to an issue affecting our community. Furthermore, I recognize that he’s bravely taking a principled position that might create scorn in others. Kudos to him. I also would like to begin with saying that I think he’s wrong.

He’s wrong because the Folsom Street Fair isn’t a gay sex perversion, it’s a festival that celebrates a small, unique community that is as diverse as the city in which it’s hosted. Folsom is for gay men, straight people, lesbians, transgender individuals, and anyone anywhere else in the spectrum of identities or choices that exist out there.

Folsom is also not an event on a public street. It’s a festival, in a controlled environment, in which admission is controlled. As a non-profit, Folsom doesn’t demand an entry fee, but there is no way that the casual passer-by stumbles on to Folsom. If you are at Folsom, you wanted to be at Folsom. This is unique from even a gay pride parade. While the ages may be unrestricted, everyone there is a consensual participant seeing what they want – and many pay – to see.

And while it may exist, the “blatant anti-Christian bigotry in the form of the ‘Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence’” is no more an affront to the good Catholic Church than the church itself. In fact, in their nearly 3 decades in existence there are probably hundreds if not thousands of people that are alive today because of the charity and AIDS prevention work the Sisters have done. They were the organization that coined the term, “safe sex,” using it for the first time in the first plain-language, sex-positive health brochure at the very dawn of the HIV pandemic. Many of the Sisters are Catholics and former Catholics themselves who are trying to make a positive change from their very negative experience in such a dangerous Church. Furthermore, most, if not all, are artists who use the politically charged imagery to make a profound statement. When Peter L. and his friends stop displaying so much anti-gay bigotry, than maybe of the people of San Francisco might be more willing to appreciate what he views as anti-Christian. Lastly, I would argue that what he perceives as anti-Christian, is really anti-Church. I’ve met few atheists, Jews, agnostics, Muslims, and people of other faiths and no-faiths that really find objection to “Christianity” but rather to their special expression of Christianity by the Church and its followers.

I think we can counter Peter L. with a much storied definition of obscenity credited to the Supreme Court. To declare something obscene, “it must be: 1) prurient in nature (which we can probably agree and concede Folsom is), 2) completely devoid of scientific, political, educational, or social value (which Peter L. should concede Folsom is not – especially since it’s ripe with political activism, artistry and health and safety education), and 3) it must violate the local community standards. If it meets all three of these things, it is obscenity.” On the last point is where Peter L.’s criticism lacks all validity and shows itself as nothing more than political grandstanding. Folsom is an old, popular (visited by more than 400,000 people) and some would argue cherished community event. What is right on Folsom Street may not work on Main Street, but the people of Main Street don’t have much say.

I would never engage in a sexual act in public. I would never take my children to a place where sex play is celebrated. But how many children are victimized by predators because parents aren’t comfortable speaking plainly and openly about human sexuality? How many girls will end up pregnant this year? How many children will kill themselves? These things are all just as profane. By celebrating Peter L., we say that his concern should be an area of national focus when we are plagued with so much worse. After all, despite all of his disgusting, murder filled conquests, even Mussolini got the trains to run on time.

In my life experience, including my work at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center, I met a lot of interesting people that came from very different experiences and had very different interests than me, many of them prurient! And none of these people I would consider bad people. In fact, I think many – especially those I have been closest with – are astonishing, proud, and strong symbols of our community. When our gay brothers were dying from a devastating disease, it was these – the most vocal, most outrageous, most radical – members of our community that raised the national consciousness. They sewed the quilt, they lobbied the lawmakers, they raised the money, and they changed the face of AIDS. A gay man like me just 5 years older probably lost scores of friends to AIDS. A gay man my age, I’ve never lost a single friend. It wasn’t the Roy Cohn’s or the gay families safely hidden behind their picket fences that made this change happen. It was the Sisters and drag queens and leather daddies and artists and radicals – all worth a lot no matter how different their interests. And Folsom was and is a home for them.

The video may be shocking but so is reality and there’s no point in ignoring it, trying to silence it, or working to squash it. It might not be our reality, but it belongs to someone.

Another victim in the war on Christmas...

2007-12-06T01:20:00.000-08:00

Bill O'Reilly and I are getting along again and it's pissing me off. This holiday season, I hope people wish me glad tidings, and I'll typically graciously accept a Happy Holidays.

But when someone is buying a Christmas tree at sunset on the second night of Haunakah, it's probably a safe assumption that you can wish me a Merry Christmas without me getting offended.

I bought our Christmas tree tonight and was wish a Happy Holidays by the two employees I spoke with on my adventure. Really.

What's a gay man to do?

2007-12-04T15:38:00.000-08:00

I am home sick today. I have an ugly head cold that might have something to do with me diving without a hood. My roommates -- and bosses -- suggested I stay home so as to not spread my germs.

I am trying to keep myself feeling like I have worth. I was doing Christmas cards a little. And of course I am watching television. I saw a documentary, "The Girl who Survived Rabies" and watched the Closer from last night. But now it's the 3 o'clock hour. And what is a gay to do?

I could watch Oprah, the uplifting diva who speaks for America. Her host in the inspirational author of "Eat, Love, & Pray." We can tell Oprah is fat again because she's concerned for our souls.

Or, I could watch that snarky bitch Kathy Griffin on her special, "Strong Black Woman."

Yep, I'm watching Kathy and switching to O during the commercials.

Strike Tutorial...

2007-11-15T13:48:00.001-08:00

and if you don't think the writers are worth it... think about what Jon Stewart would be like without these guys that you never see and until now never hear from? This little made-for-you-tube is as funny as the real Daily Show. Seriously!

Don't Be A Scab: Turn off Ellen!

2007-11-14T20:08:00.000-08:00

For those of you not in LA, you might not be aware of the writer's strike. The Writer's Guild, the WGA, is out on strike because producers and studios won't increase the residuals made from digital media to be similar to what writers make in residuals from broadcast. In an age with so much "Tune in Online" or "All of Season 5 on DVD" writers only want their share. In fact, the rise of DVD sales is hurting off-network syndication of shows and so the writers lose money while the producers make more...

Ellen Degeneres, who apparently doesn't know how to read contracts, now thinks she understands contracts. She also pretends to care about the writers, while continuing to do her television show because she is ignorant to how organized labor relies on a strike. And just like with the dog "crisis", she's trying to play the victim, now cancelling a trip to New York to produce shows.

I tried to be sympathetic since we are family and all, but when I was watching Bill O'Reilly earlier in the week I decided that Ellen is a scab. Bill has famous Republican and WGA member Ben Stein on the show along with a UCLA Labor expert. While the premise of the segment was for O'Reilly -- a union member (AFTRA) -- and Stein -- a member of both SAG and WGA-- to defend Ellen, they both added a little snippet to the conversation that most of us probably would have missed. Both Stein and O'Reilly confessed that they would not break the strike and cross the picket line if they were in Ellen's sensible, lesbian-chic shoes. And yet Ellen, a so-called progressive still "spits in the faces of working men and women" by continuing to cross a picket line that two Repubican trolls like O'Reilly and Ben Stein say they'd have honored.

Principles mean nothing if you don't honor them when the decision is tough. I've known non-union employees who have quit jobs rather than cross a picket line. I've never considered it myself and fear the day when I have to make that tough decision to give up something I love -- a great job -- because I know that the dignity of workers is always more important than my immediate needs.

What is wrong with this video?

2007-10-23T21:47:00.000-07:00

Obviously, black folk don't eat mayonnaise!

Oh yeah, the comic who does this is a big, fat "ignorant" white guy who's made a nice little online reputation for his off-color high-color comedy. He treads out tired old stereotypes for the cheap laugh. He's a one act monkey... just like a certain Democratic candidate for President.

Barack Obama will be touring the through the South, targeting the black evangelical community, with Donnie McClurkin. Mr. Turduken is a Gospel singer and anti-homosexual crusader who believes gays can be cured! Donnie Brasco is an outspoken bigot, a man who has declared "war on homosexuality." And he'll be sharing the stage with Senator Obama. The Senator is giving a microphone to a fat, ingorant reject so that he can tread out tired old stereotypes for a quick dollar and some Christian notoriety.

Shame on Shirley Q. Liquor and Senator Obama.

Racist?

2007-10-18T19:57:00.000-07:00

I was hanging out with Suzanne today. I love having her back in town. We decided to have lunch and grab a movie and so we went to Santa Monica and enjoyed fond memories of high school trips that made us feel so cool. (In fairness, I think we only went to 3rd Street once in high school, but a number of times the first year or two of college.)

See, there used to me this narrow hallway in one of the buildings with a number of small, ethnic restaurants. On one said trip to the tourist trap of bad restaurants and run down movie theaters, we were in the mini-food court looking for something to eat. Always the helpful friend, I was reading the names of the offerings, "Mexican, Peruvian, Greek, Ethiopian, European... Shit, where's Europia? What kind of food is that?"

Shamefully, that's not the only time I've made this mistake. "What do they call people from Belgium? There's the French, and the Dutch? Do they call them Belch?" Oops. Oh yeah, Belgian, like the waffles.

Neglect

2007-10-17T21:10:00.000-07:00

I have neglected this blog like I have neglected a number of things in my life. I have become consumed, lost in just being. I work too much, don't return calls, forget to pay bills, allow birthdays and special moments to pass, and skip out on my soul.

Things spiraled in the last few weeks, several weeks. I've allowed myself to do too much, and let little things pass me by. And I thought I was fine with it. The last 2 or 4 weeks, probably beginning around my birthday, became uncontrollable. And then I had an awesome weekend.

When things at work became too much I won the lottery. With one of the craziest weekends of the year this past, I got to lead a small group of experienced divers -- most of whom I know well and really like -- on a trip to San Diego. I got to skip out on the chaos of the weekend and still be back at home by 5. Back in time to actually make good on a promise to join my friend at Mass, and so I did.

I didn't find the liturgy or the homily particularly inspiring, but something, I think, happened that day. Why do believe in God? I don't really know if I do. I just know that things seem to have presented themselves to me at weird times, at right times. Maybe it's coincidence, or The Secret, or the power of the human mind that I'd only understand if I read Dianetics and made Tom Cruise my personal life coach, but things reveal themselves to me. Like what started on Sunday with Amy.

On Monday, I was extremely behind on some of my paperwork from old classes and committed to catching up. I need to put in the applications for students that I certified but this means that I need photos, and a few students ignored a number of my emails. So I called them. Reached the last call, a sixteen year old that I taught in an Advanced class. Got an answering machine and I started my message which would be abruptly interupted:

"This is Brian from the shop. I'd like to process Greg's* certification but I need a photo. If you could email me a photo with no sunglasses I could..."

His mom, quite shaken, picked up. Greg had passed away. He was in my class about a month and a half ago, as things spiraled their worst. He was 16 years old. And now he's dead.

This story probably could use some background information. Greg was 16 but he's probably lived more than me. He and his mom came to the shop in early August. He was quiet. She was very passionate. Greg had just learned to dive. Apparently, he learned to dive on a boat trip to Catalina. It was a boat trip for troubled youth -- a boot camp at sea. To mix up the story even more, he was actually trained by Scabies, my ex, whose job I took after getting it for him in the first place. And now that Greg was back at home, I was picked by the stars to finish what Scabies started. The stars, Greg's mom, and my own persuasive power which suggested to his mom that his advanced class would be a good start.

The Advanced class would happen over a weekend. Greg would be in a class with one other kid -- a 13 year-old wonder kid from a wealthy, privileged family with none of the cares of Greg -- and seven adults. We do a day in Avalon on Catalina Island, and hoping to make him more comfortable I suggested that his mom might want to come along and enjoy the island. On my recommendation in with some more advice from me, she chose to come with his little brother and they would snorkel and enjoy the town while we were diving and then would join the group for a fun lunch trip back.

Our diving was awesome. I took Greg on five dives and he got everything out of each one that he could. He chased animals and explored aggressively. He was quiet but I could see he was having fun. Everyone in the class got along well and we played around, teasing and having fun. After lunch, Greg showed us he was a little Cassanova, approaching a group of three girls and making his move. The group cheered him on and teased him a little when he came back to the group. On the boat trip back to the mainland, Greg slipped away and back to the girls he met on the island. This kid had a lot of life.

It was cut short and it hit me hard.

I love diving and my favorite part of teaching is seeing the moment when a new diver gets hooked. It doesn't happen to everyone but when it happens, it's like a drug. Greg had the hooked look in his eyes when he was underwater.

I was being haunted by this. I only had a few seconds talking to his mom. I don't know what happened or when it happened. I only had what I thought. I thought maybe I had made a difference and that he might have had a few memories. If there is an afterlife, something more, then maybe something I did, some impact I had, will live much longer than I could.

Yesterday, the next day, Greg's mom called the shop. She wanted to talk to me. Another short conversation in which, if you can believe this, I had little to say.

"Brian, I want you to know that Greg told me that that day at Catalina was one of the best days he could remember. He had more fun that day than any other. And I will always have that memory of that amazing day with my two boys. Thank you for that."

Despite the neglect, besides ignoring things that shouldn't be ignored and the Catholic guilt heaped upon me because of my neglect, it was okay. Things were still good and I was still good. Because while I may neglect things, somehow I managed to give focus to important things, too. I wasn't a bad person per se, and good things happened even when I thought I was, was racked with being, a shitty person.

*Not his real name because he was 16, troubled, and frankly deserves a little peace, like the peace we all seek.

McLovin?

2007-09-17T23:27:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment at the DMV. Boo! California requires you to get a new photo for your driver's license every 10 years. For 10 years I've been using this awesome photo I took when I was 18 years old. I was HOT! It's the best photo I've ever taken. And now it's going to the trash because I'm fucking old! I hate California.

Password Troubles

2007-09-17T09:52:00.001-07:00

I guess it's a sign that you've not blogged often enough when Blogger and Firefox don't remember you and you can't remember the log-in information yourself... Oops.

No Photos in Pinkberry

2007-09-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, I was hanging out with my mother at the Grove, Los Angeles' favorite fake main street. The Grove can be an overcrowded, obnoxious scene of hipsters, fakesters, and poseurs galore. But it also has a decent movie theatre for matinees and a new sushi restaurant that has all-you-can-eat sushi for a good price. (Thanks Erin for the tip.) Next to the Grove is the Farmer's Market. Besides being a relic of a bygone tourist trap, the Grove is the home to a new Pinkberry, a very strange Pinkberry that never seems to be crowded.

I thought the lines were shipped in from Pinkberry HQ somewhere in Asia. Apparently, the trend ain't so hot with the Midwest tourist set. So, I had to take an advantage of the un-scene Pinkberry and grab one with my mom. It was at this lonely Pinkberry moment that I learned, "Tsk. Tsk. No pictures in Pinkberry. Corporate policy."

The unsuspecting, Ugg-wearing poseurs were quick to slip their cameras back in to their oversized purses and giggle their way out of the store. But I was bothered by this. Does a store that only serves frozen yogurt -- not cutting edge since the Penguin's invasion of the 1980s -- and fruit or trendy cereal, really have a corporate secret to protect? What could a photo reveal that my memory couldn't carry with it to the outside of the store? Sheesh.

I Love My Soap

2007-08-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

I really love my soap. Back before I figured out the scabies fiasco, when I just thought I had dry itchy skin, my new friend Rafi suggested I try the soap he uses: Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Soap. He thought it might help because it's all natural and earthy and stuff. Unfortunately, it didn't help with the problem, being that my problem was an infestation of bugs given to me by my skeezy skank of an ex. I did however fall in love with this soap.

It's crazy soap. I mean just read the label and you can tell it's crazy, but it's wonderful none the less. I mean really crazy. Check it out. All-one.

This is the first post in a while. The job change, which I told you about, means I am not sitting at a desk all day. In fact, I rarely sit nowadays at work, unless it's on the floor. The job change was the best move I ever made, but its bound to upset a few blog readers, like Scott who kicked me off his blogroll. Maybe I can re-earn his trust and get added back-on.

For those of you sticking with me, I'm gonna make it a more positive experience. I want to love things. So I'm gonna balance my posting with Love Posts... Take some time to smell the flowers and all that shit. Well, I don't want to smell shit, I think I already know what it smells like. But I do want to smell things, including flowers.

Ryan White CARE Act

2007-06-29T12:00:00.001-07:00

The federal government funds HIV/AIDS treatment programs through Ryan White funds. The program is the third largest federal program, behind Medicare and Medicaid, and more than 500,000 Americans rely on Ryan White funds for their health care.

Why, then, is the program named for a straight, white boy? Yes, straight, white males can catch HIV and some do have AIDS, but this is a disease that has had far greater impact on gay men and people of color.

Why don't people care unless it's a straight, white male?

(I know this is random, but, well, it's Stonewall week, so I'm gonna post some militant homosexual rantings.)

Today, I quit my job.

2007-06-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

In minutes, maybe as soon as finishing this post, I am quitting my job. Two weeks from today, I'll work full time in the recreational scuba industry. And I will be free of a desk.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Blood Letting

2007-06-22T14:28:00.001-07:00

Today I did one of those things that seem like nothing to a young, gay Angeleno, but would seem freakishly foreign to say, Amy's 60ish dad in Tipton, Iowa. I had an HIV test.

This particular HIV test has me thinking of a few things.

1) The alternate universe of being young and gay and living in a city. When I worked at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center -- an awesome place that offers free rapid HIV testing, I'm just saying -- I would stand in the elevator with a 2 drag queens, a homeless teenager, a gray 60s radical, and a lesbian couple making out and think to myself, "Wow! Is this what mom and dad had in mind for me back in 1978 when I was born?" But it wasn't just the elevator rides. Being young and gay is unique.

My folks will probably go their whole lives without ever having an HIV test. I'm willing to bet neither of my brother's have had one. Millions of Americans probably don't see a need for it. Me, I do it every 6 months. And I don't engage in risky behavior. It's just a reality I grew up with.

2) I got this test because, before quitting my job and having to deal with a change in health insurance, I wanted to make sure I wasn't saddling myself and my new employers with a long term illness. How pathetic that we live in a country where people need to make employment decisions based on their health? How much productivity is lost because disinterested people remain in unsatisfying jobs solely to maintain their health coverage?

Thanks to a great public benefit at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center -- an asset Los Angeles should be proud of -- I am now comfortable making the switch. The test came back, as expected, negative.

What happens to the Blog after the split?

2007-06-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of making a big career change. And by thinking, I mean, I'm like 98% ready and already composing my letter of resignation. No more sitting at a desk for 8 hours in a row. No more 45 minute to hour long commutes. My life will change. So will yours.

I won't have as much time to Blog...

What should I do?

To my friends from High School

2007-06-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

Okay. Seriously. If you went to high school with me and were in Ms. Russel's European History class you are going to love me. Look what I found on queerty.com, a gay pop blog:

If you didn't go to high school with me you probably will think I'm a freak. You are probably right.

On a Tuesday?

2007-06-19T22:45:00.001-07:00

I'm drunk. On a Tuesday night. Why?

Because Scabies is gone on a 1 month leave of absence from the shop. We need to make sure his faggot ass doesn't come back.

Democracy Fails Again: An Excercise in Douchebaggery

2007-06-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

I extolled my interest in Senator Hillary Clinton's Campaign Theme Song contest. She had some really interesting choices, and I thought she was approaching the exercise with a lighthearted vigor that she seems to lack. And then the "Internet voter" came and took a massive dump on the whole thing.

She's still having fun with it, even making a funny Sopranos-inspired viral video to announce the winner. The campaign clearly had fun with this project, and was willing to spend a decent amount of money on it... and brought in the Big Dog. (Except, they didn't seem to post the video anywhere that I can pull down the code to embed it. Oops.)

And the winner is...

Click Here

But close your ears first. And make sure you have an empty stomach. Somehow, somehow Celine Dion wins. She's friggin' French Canadian... and it's a love song. Ugh.

I hate democracy.

Check out my previous reporting on this project here and here.

We want what?

2007-06-19T09:49:00.001-07:00

I was trolling around on the Positive Thinking magazine web site today. Turns out, that's the magazine my super awesome friend JenMac works for. After reviewing the site, she might be a little less awesome. Just a little.

On the site, I caught this photos. After saving my cornea from the burning and stinging caused by all the lace and wood, I got to thinking. Do gay folks really want in on this wedding action? I mean, look at that dress. Fear not, turns out that it's a photo of a daughter trying on Mom's dress. Nothing in the story says that the daughter will actually wear the monstrosity at a ceremony of her nuptials.

Please Explain it to Me

2007-06-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Gay men and large black women have some sort of special bond. I swear. If you don't believe me ask any gay man. If you put 100 diverse people -- all of different identities in a room -- I promise you that the gay man and the large black woman will have found each other before you have the door closed.

That might explain why I loved this video so much:

I love large black women!

Goodbye Mr. Wizard

2007-06-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

Don Herbert, who has made a significant contribution to my geekitude, died this week. He was 89. Mr. Wizards World was one of my favorite Nickelodeon shows as a child. His voice still brings me back to elementary school. I think I might buy the DVDs of his show.

Did you know he was on the first episode of David Letterman's first late night show?

John Edwards.

2007-06-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

"Today, we know two unequivocal truths about the results of Bush's approach -- there are more terrorists and we have fewer allies."

-- John Edwards, in a speech this week on national security policy.
(from Taegan Goddard's Political Wire)

2007-06-07T14:05:00.001-07:00

I am frequently shocked out how squeemish supposedly progressive people can be about homosexuality. Straight celebrities constantly feel the need to affirm their heterosexuality, and the media -- on television and in advertising for example -- still get giggly about gays and lesbians.

I won't even get started on our politicians, our Democratic politicians, who will take gay money by the truckload but continually sell us out for the politically easy poll points. (cough*cough Brack Obama cough*cough)

We have even become used to our own families keeping a little bit of space, not talking to us about the same things they would our straight brothers and sisters.

And you know what? That's fine. If you aren't quite comfortable with the gays, that's fine. Hell, there are plenty of 20-something closeted homosexuals living in urban communities that don't have the pink cojones to be comfortable with themselves -- or the self-respect -- so we don't expect a ton from you.

But when you do show that you are willing to embrace us, treat us with dignity, and not hide from us, you deserve the credit.

Enrique Iglesias deserves the credit.

Enrique Iglesias Thrills Gay Fan
Uploaded by funscenes3

The Back Story: Apparently, when Enrique performs his beautiful ballad Hero live, he brings a woman on stage and serenades her. Cheesy, but fun. Recently, we was playing a set at the VERY popular English gay club called, get this, G-A-Y. No doubt who his audience was. And guess what? He played up to them. He brought a boy on stage. Sang his song to a man. Danced with the man. Held the man's hand. Even embraced and hugged the man while he sang. As if it was completely normal.

Because it is completely normal.

Thank you Enrique!

MySpace Tips

2007-06-07T11:23:00.003-07:00

Don't put photos of you in your undies in the same album as photos of your grandparents, nieces and nephews, or mom and dad. That's just creepy!

Seperated at Birth?

2007-06-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt that I am tragically unhip. I listen to lame mixes on my iPod and NPR most times. I've only begun listening to Top 40 / Pop / Contemporary radio at work in the past 2 weeks. But I do know who Amy Winehouse. (Mostly because she apparently once shared a stage with Jay Brannan, which I uncovered when trying to learn more about Jay.) I've heard her song Rehab a lot, and I even like her.

But I'd never seen her until this past Sunday's MTV Movie Awards. I wouldn't typically watch something like the MTV Movie Awards, being tragically unhip and all, but Sarah Silverman was hosting and until there is a Sarah Silverman channel on cable -- or network TV -- I will continue to seek Sarah out where ever I can find her.

So, Amy Winehouse takes to the stage to perform her Rehab song... and I think it's a joke. I mean, obviously they dressed Sarah up, gave her a bad wig and bad eye make-up and are having her lip synch to the soulfoul singings of Amy, who is probably hiding back stage and will come from behind the curtain near the end to save her song. Except, it is, in fact, Amy Winehouse. Are these two women separated at birth? Do all Jewish women look the same? Am I so gay that I can't even tell the difference between two very different women?

The whole thing reminded me of the Garth Brooks / Chris Gaines fiasco mess of 1999. Remember that?

2007-06-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

I'm being stalked by a book I'm reading. On my commute, I finally started reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, which came highly recommended.

The story teller repeatedly refers to his math skills and interest in math as "maths." Maybe it's an English term I don't recognize. A friend posted a survey on MySpace today and he answered a question:

28. What's something you wish you could understand better? maths

Crazy, right? The word is introduced to me this morning and I see it used twice in two different contexts within hours.

There's also a character in the book named "Siobhan." Today, at work, I got an email -- not spam, but real business related email -- from a "Siobhan Waldron." That's the first email I've ever gotten from Siobhan.

I'm being stalked by my book.

Who's a good liberal?

2007-06-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

Between my white guilt and my aversion to paying high fuel prices, I decided to take some action. Today, I got my ass up a little early and drove (I know, very LA!) to the Green Line train station and commuted to work on mass transit... with the masses.

The above photo is one I found on the Internets of my train station in El Segundo. It's about 5 miles from my house, but it's 5 completely traffic free miles down the coast and then through the quaint industrial city of El Segundo.

I started my journey on the Green Line which runs down the middle of a freeway. (Again, so very LA!) From there, I waited a few minutes for my connection to the Blue Line, "the busiest light rail line in the country." That's not rhetoric. It is really crowded, but I snaked a seat and was able to read in comfort. Of course, some guy made some bitchy comment because I moved quickly in to my seat and didn't offer it up to a woman on board. Deal with it lady. You might have big boobs and a nice ass, but I have little interest in either. I do, however, have a HUGE interest in my book and I would like to read it sitting down.

Finally, once downtown I connected to a bus for a 5 minute ride to the office. There's another way I can go, too, I might try that tomorrow.

The ride itself took about 20 to 30 minutes longer than if I drove myself. But I was able to read, and I haven't been reading much recently. I'm way behind and I need to start plowing through some books. It was remarkably unstressful, which I think is good for me right now. Oh, and did I mention I helped save the world while I was at it? And saved a few bucks.

See, tonight I need to meet my parents in Universal City, right near the Red Line (LA's subway) station. So I'm gonna take the Red Line, and then commute back to my car after dinner. All that extra driving would mean I'd clock in about 50 miles, about $8.50 in commuting costs and a lot of stressful traffic. LA has pretty cheap mass transit and my whole day on the bus and train will cost $3.00. Momma loves a bargain!

And I saved the world. How about you?

JenMac is following orders, how about you?

2007-06-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

I've written a number of times about the supercool project JenMac is doing this year. You can submit ideas to her; she's doing something new every day of the year.

Last week, I gave her an idea and she did it! She went to one of those cheezy morning news show's Friday Concerts.

In the meantime, I'm recovering from strep throat that I self-medicated with drugs I bought in Thailand. You'll be happy to know they worked and this course of treatment cost me about $7, instead of the $50 or so plus about 3 hours a trip to the doctor here would've cost me.

Brian for Hillary?

2007-05-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

Last week, I think, I let you know that Hillary is running an online contest to pick her campaign song. I really think it's a neat idea.

Today, she posted an update video.

If she keeps this up, I might just switch to her team. I like when our politicos show us they have a soul.

Liberal Guilt

2007-05-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back, my roommates and I decided to hire a housekeeper. We really needed one. We often work seven days a week, and 12 or 14 hour days aren't unusual. So we hired Angela.

She comes on Mondays but I've never met her because I am always at work. Today, Memorial Day, I have the day off. We had a number of house guests and I think we shocked her this morning when there were about 8 people in the house.

After running errands, I came home and am relaxing in the house. Angela is working. And I feel really badly, like I should be helping her.

We are paying her -- well. Why do I feel bad to have a Latina working while I sit on my ass watching TV?

Damn, liberal guilt.

No comment. Just watch.

2007-05-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

Then call your Congressmember. Tell Democrats to stop their leadership's stupid compromise!

The Triple Crown: Three sheets to the wind?

2007-05-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

Coming from the Old Line State* (that's Maryland for those of you that don't know), I occasionally pay attention to horse racing and, specifically, the Triple Crown. Maryland hosts the middle race -- the Preakness -- that follows the Kentucky Derby and precedes the Belmont Stakes.

The Kentucky Derby is a classy gathering at Churchill Downs. This year, it even attracted the Queen of England (and apparently, Angie Harmon?). The Queen, mint juleps and big hats: it reeks of class.

The Free State* (still talking about Maryland here) is not to be outdone. From this year's Preakness:

The drunks, cans of Coors Light, and portable shitters: it reeks of, well, spilled beer and urine. Eat that Kentucky!

* The great state of Maryland has two nicknames, the Old Line State and the Free State, both of which seems to come from the Civil War Period. For example, the Maryland border formed much of the Mason-Dixon Line, marking off the Confederacy from the Union. It was Maryland's northern border unfortunately. And, based on that line placement, you can probably guess that Maryland wasn't a "free" state back then. Nope.

Old Line State was a name given to it by George Washington during the Revolution. A war, just the wrong war. The Free State was a name given to it during prohibition because it refused to pass enforcement laws which would have led the arrest of sellers and drinkers of booze. Thus, the Preakness video above.

Huh? What? "I was wrong"???

2007-05-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Today, I am supporting John Edwards for President in 2008. Now, it's May 2007, so I am entitled to change my mind. But, today, I'm an Edwards man.

I like John Edwards for a lot of reasons. I understand and appreciate his story of two Americas. I am inspired by his personality. I love that he seems to care about poverty and understand how it is the root to many of our other problems: poor education, crime, family dysfunction, violence, drugs, etc.

Even more than anything though, I like that he will take bold positions and acknowledge when he's wrong, something politicians like Bush and Clinton would never do. Having a leader who understand accountability and leadership is invaluable.

He voted for the war, and he understands that vote was wrong. From that point forward, he's ready to fix his mistake, unlike our current commander-in-chief.

He will say, "I was wrong."

Maybe one day, I'll do the same.

Schadenfreude Wednesdays

2007-05-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation on the way to work this morning with a friend of mine. It was funny, because he's a lot like me. We are fun people to be around, and I'd definitely say we can be nice. I mean, I'm fiercely loyal to my friends, and will do almost anything a friend asks. I take pride in that. However, I'm not the most sympathetic soul. When facing a tragedy, I might not be the first person to call. I tend to skate around that stuff. Please make note of that and don't expect much more from me.

For example, I have no sympathy for Jerry Falwell or Paul Wolfowitz. So let's celebrate Schadenfreude Wednesdays with these two poor souls!

"Falwell in Hell" Now, that's an idea I can get behind. When Jerry Falwell was committed to worm food, apparently some day this week, but I never saw it on the news, Fred Phelps' gang from the Westboro Baptist "Church" showed up to demonstrate. Apparently, Falwell was in cohoots with the gays! Besides "fucking us over" every chance he got, I wouldn't throw Falwell in with the gays. But "Kudos" to anyone who wants to make a joke out of Falwell's pitiful life.

Jerry the Fatass isn't the only Republican scold who is a little lonelier these days. It would seem that it's a good rule not to make your girlfriend look like the winner in this Miss American Nepotist contest. After losing his job at the World Bank because he helped get a sweet-cherry-pie promotion and raise for his girlfriend, Paul Wolfowitz has now lost his girlfriend, too!

It these stories got us up to the hump, coming down on this week is gonna have to be an awesome ride!

Ouch!

2007-05-21T14:47:00.001-07:00

I just bought gas on my lunch break and paid $3.79 for low-octane gas! $3.79! My daily commute costs me about $4.50 in fuel costs alone. Add in $7 a day in insurance. (I am it figuring the same regardless of mileage so it's not all that accurate.) Plus maintenance which I am figuring at $1.13 a day, means my commute, right now, is running about $12.63. It takes me an average of 45 minutes each way to get home, totaling 90 minutes. If I am value my labor at $25.00/hour, there's another $37.50. Wow! My commute is costing me $50.

Last week was Bike to Work week. I mused about getting a bike and commuting on it 2 days a week. It would take me longer -- probably as much as 90 minutes each way. Hmmm. No fuel costs. No insurance costs. Minimal maintenance costs. Say I find a great deal on a good bike and between my bike and accessories I spend about $450. And I bike 2 days of the 50 weeks I work. And it takes me 3 hours a day to ride. It will cost me about $75 a day.

But I'd get a great ass.

I'll write more later, I'm gonna go look for a bike on Craigslist.

HillaryClinton.com: Tackling the BIG issues!

2007-05-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hillary Clinton, who you all know has already won the Democratic nomination for President, is putting the big issues right in front of her supporters: help her pick a campaign song. The campaign song worked so well for her husband that no body listens to "Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)" anymore without thinking about cigars and interns.

Hoping to avoid the "Beautiful Day" disaster of John Kerry's 2004 campaign -- never has a more cliche song been trusted to a presidential campaign -- Hillary is asking you to vote, and she has some pretty interesting choices. And "Beautiful Day," shit, are these people retarded?

My vote is for "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall. I think it has a cool, indie sound, and is remarkably positive. Many of the songs seem to capitalize on Hillary's vagina, something she probably has never done in her own life.

Rock the vote, people!

It's been days...

2007-05-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

I am having a hard time returning to the blog from my Thai-atus. Rest assured, I am trying. I just having made it happen yet. I am still thinking though. For example:

1) I had a cupcake today. It was from Auntie Em's and it was good. It was also "Carrot Cake" and thus why it wasn't excellent. I rollerbladed -- so 1995 that Blogger doesn't even recognize the word in spell check -- through Skid Row to get this cup cake.

2) Los Angeles is still like the wild west sometimes. The lawlessness can be pretty bad. I saw an illegal street food vendor -- with no county permits, no sanitation, no hat or hair net -- getting a parking ticket. The meter maid ticketed her for parking her jerry-rigged restaurant in a red zone. Then the meter maid left. No call to the police or the county. You can illegally sell potentially tainted food, just don't park in a red zone.

All this lawlessness can really challenge one's liberal sensibilities. They say, "If you aren't a liberal in your 20s you have no heart, if you aren't a conservative in your 40s you have no brain." They also say, "A conservative is merely a liberal who's been robbed." If I want law and order, if I don't want people selling food from dirty pickle buckets on the side of the dirty street, does that make me unliberal? If I think graffitti is repulsive and not art, does that make me unliberal?

3) I made my first suggestion to JenMac's awesome blog. I hope she does it. I recommended she attend one of those fantastically horrible morning news show concerts that feature Rascal Flats, Jennifer Hudson, or Fergie. If I lived in New York, I'd totally go to one.

I wonder if Los Angeles has an equivalent. I think I should do more weird LA things, things like my mid-day skates through Skid Row. (Did you know Skid Row is the single largest homeless population in the United States. There are an estimated 9,000 people living in this 50 square block are of downtown Los Angeles. It's gross.)

4) Do you know where fresh fish in Los Angeles comes from? Apparently, Skid Row. (Did you know Skid Row is the single largest homeless population in the United States. There are an estimated 9,000 people living in this 50 square block are of downtown Los Angeles. It's gross.) On my skate today, the fantastically foul stench of urine was broken through by the much better stench of decaying fish. I looked up and noticed a number of large businesses with combinations of these words in the signs: fresh, fish, seafood, ocean, sea, fresh??? Seriously, how fresh can seafood be in the heart of Los Angeles?

5) Right now, I am most amazed by mounted police horses. Check these horses out some time. How is it that they don't freak out, storm through crowds and kill thousands? I can't skate through Skid Row once ever 6 months without freaking out and these horses work down here every day! AMAZING!

It's the time of the month...

2007-05-18T12:49:00.000-07:00

SCUBA Kicks Ass

2007-05-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

I LOVE SCUBA DIVING! Diving is the greatest way to spend a day. If I could, I'd go diving every day. Having just got back from vacation, I am still psyched about the idea of diving, and diving without students... just me and my dive buddies. In Thailand, I had the most awesome group. As a whole, we were probably the best of the four groups. We lucked out -- and by lucked out, I mean as soon as they mentioned we'd be diving in set groups all week, I immediately set about to make sure I had the best group I could pull together. Mostly, it meant not having people with scabies in our group, but it turned out well altogether.

As a first, I'm joining my dear friend JenMac in putting a video online. My friend BrianMac made the video on our last night dive in Thailand. He used his camera's video feature, so it's pretty simple. It's also short. It's just a video of our entry. Sounds like a silly thing to get excited about, but in all my diving, this video is a shot of my very first backward roll entry off an inflatable dinghy. Another interesting fact about this video: Because it was the last night dive of the trip, the novelty was wearing off so it's a pretty small group. A group so small that everyone in it was an instructor level diver... and Elie. Elie had just gotten certified... ON THIS TRIP! He had maybe 15 or 20 dives, all but 2 he had done in Thailand. It's fun to dive with an experienced group when you are used to diving with first-timers.

Because of this, I decided that I'm gonna go diving, all for fun, on Memorial Day. Wanna come?

Falwell is Dead. Oops.

2007-05-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

Jerry Falwell died this morning. Oh well. Humans are mortal, we die. Especially morbidly obese fat slobs. News agencies are speculating on the cause of death. I imagine it had something to do with having obstructed bowels, you know, with the whole Republican Party's lips lodged so far up his ass it was bound to turn out in disaster.

I do not like this man. He is scum of the earth. CNN reminded me of one of my favorite Falwell memories:

Falwell has found himself at the center of several controversies, such as the one sparked by his comments two days after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in which he seemed to blame "abortionists," gays, lesbians, the ACLU and People for American Way for causing the attacks, saying they "helped this happen."

On September 14, 2001, he told CNN that he would "never blame any human being except the terrorists, and if I left that impression with gays or lesbians or anyone else, I apologize."

This is wrong in so many ways. First of all, September 11th was carried out by Fundamentalist Islamic terrorists which have A LOT more in common with Falwell than abortionists, homosexuals, and feminists. Al Qaeda certainly wouldn't place itself on our side of an ideological battle. Second, there should be no license in this country to say dangerous, hurtful, ugly things and than apologize 2 seconds later and be welcomed back in to the mainstream. Falwell is entitled to say whatever he wants, and what he says clearly places him with the lunatic fringe. Don't let him apologize and suddenly treat him like his a grade school social studies teacher.

This is all moot because he's dead and I shed no tears for him.

Great Thailand Stories I

2007-05-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

So, Brian, Newton, Jen, and Tai, and probably a few others, are walking through Bangla road on our last night in Patong Beach before boarding the Scuba Cat for five days at sea. Realizing we should probably get some cash before we leave -- booze and tips -- we decided to hit the ATM.

We make withdrawals, take our receipts and walk away. Someone notices that our bank balances have been converted to Thai baht. (35 baht to the dollar, give or take.)

Newton says, "Isn't it crazy how big your bank account seems?"

Brian looks down at his receipt.

Balance: 11 Baht

Not so crazy to me!

(It was pay day and there was some mistake and so it didn't post... maybe it was the whole dateline thing. It sorted out.)

Newsman Cometh...

2007-05-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

Poor, poor Adam Landau.

2007-05-07T09:36:00.001-07:00

Centered?

2007-05-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

Should I stop centering photos? I think I do it too much. Basically, when I right or left justify them, I feel the text encroaches on the photos. Centering it is.

Debauchery?

2007-05-03T10:43:00.000-07:00

When I was in Sunday school as a child -- which is kind of a story telling device, since I have few "Sunday school" memories because I went to a Catholic school in kindergarten and above and needn't attend Sunday school -- I never imagined at 28 years old I would be up until 3:30 AM on a Wednesday.

But that's the case! Having a large group of childless friends only leads to trouble. I guess this is what being a young gay professional cosmopolitan is supposed to be all about: Thursday morning hangovers nursed with sleeping in and obscene amounts of coffee. And there's 2 more days left to this week!

I'd share photos from last night's Chamber Evening Dinner (a fundraiser for the Hyperbaric Chamber -- an emergency care facility for SCUBA divers -- and not an uptight social of business-minded Republicans) but in my drunken haze, stumbling from Tai's car at 2:30 AM, I apparently left my camera behind. Maybe tonight.

I must be making an amazing impression on my new boss. 1) I called in sick on his first day. (And I was actually sick. You all should know by now how much it pains me to use a "sick day" on an actual illness!) 2) I wandered in in a daze this morning. 3) I desperately want a new job because I got screwed on vacation time. Assholes.

Although, the new bossman is promising. I've worked for 4 women and 2 men. All 4 women were nightmare. The men: amazing creative professional relationships in which I felt productive and mature.

Back to my coffee... and Thailand photos.

2007-04-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

Concerned for your entertainment, I decided to steal a video for you from my friend JenMac. She's one of the most creative people I know, and in preparation for turning 30, she's keeping a blog of new things -- she's doing one new thing every day of her 29th to 30th transition year. While I was gone, she taught herself the Italian National Anthem and sang it... for you!

Okay, I have officially devolved into a post-adolescent video-making YouTuber. What fun! If I were 13, I'd be the hit of junior high. Or, people would still hide my gym shorts and call me Starvin Marvin. Whatever. At the suggestion of my birthdaying friend LeMar, I decided to learn and sing a national anthem I don't know. He suggested Denmark's, but I'm completely unfamiliar with the language, and couldn't find a phonetic pronunciation guide to help me not butcher it. So I learned and sang the Italian national anthem. It's fun! I can see why Italians love soccer so much! I did try to memorize it, but that would have resulted in my butchering the language more than I probably did (but less than I would have destroyed Danish). So my space-stare in this vid is directed at the words. My voluntary twitch is directed at my too-long bangs.

Where have I been?

2007-04-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

THAILAND!

More to come... check out photos in the meantime.

Tax Season

2007-04-12T11:41:00.000-07:00

Thank god I am waiting until the last minute to file my taxes, or else I'd have missed this opportunity:

Don't forget, the tax deadline is rapidly approaching. (Even though we get some extra time this year.) Also, don't forget to wish Katrina a "Happy Birthday," the second easiest birthday-of-a-friend to remember. (The Mexican born on Cinco de Mayo being the first.) Happy Birthday Katrina!

Thank you (anonymous friend) for the Craigslist link. See people, I wasn't the one trolling... this time.

Intelligent Design

Attacking the Arguments Against Same Sex Marriage

March TONIGHT!!

May 26: Black Tuesday

Brian Davis SHAME

Christopher Cole Shame on California. I am so grateful that I now live in Connecticut.

----

Nicole C. Curran Sad day for CA, however there is so much more work to be done on all levels to fight for equality.

Brian Davis Like getting rid of the idiots that got us here in the first place... starting with our side.----

Lauran Huff is officially a member of a minority within a minority

Brian Davis I love you dearly and still find it revolting that California now has a third faction, a special class. The compromise is so not inspired by the law but appeasing voters that it is truly shameful.

However, if you decided to have kids and are looking for a Godfather, I am a good one with 4 godchildren already. Likely my only chance to be part of a legal queer family. :)

----

Mckenna Poole Unbelievable. I'm ashamed to be a Californian.

Brian Davis Let's fix it! It's not our fault. It's the ignorant f*cktards on both sides who lost this for us. Let them eat cake, from the bottom of a basket.

----

Brian Davis What to think of friends that post cute funny news articles at the moment that you are having your dignity stripped from you by the California Supreme Court? Oh yeah... MORONS!

----

Christopher Cole to Brian Davis: Are you California, Mr. Davis? No offense taken, but I'm certainly not shaming the people, but the state, the institution that should stand for all, for equality, for justice

Brian Davis Be clear in who is too blame:

A weak progressive majority in Sacramento that has pulled out this issue just for campaign contributions.

A tonedeaf leadership in the queer community who are so far in the closet that they couldn't take a 30 year-old lesson about empowerment.

A intellectually uncurious community who throws millions to groups like HRC, GLAAD and Lorri Jean while Lambda Legal uses donated desks and does the real heavy lifting.

A president who took millions out of this state but didn't have the simple integrity to stand along side us in this fight.

A once-bold Supreme Court who once spoke out clearly on the side of justice, and yet seemed to pull together a decision based more on political popularity and job security (the lesson of Rose Bird) wrapped in the guise of the Constitution.

And a nation of queers who can't make a protest because they have dinner reservations.

But it's not the state of California's fault, and the responsibly spreads from sea to sea.

----

Brian Davis Easy to say. Harder to type with that ring finger being weighted down.

We don't need the populations to "wholeheartedly support" marriage equality. We need the LAW to support it. As it should, and as our constitution dictates.

On May 15, 2008, the Supreme Court said denying marriage equality violated the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution. Today, the clause is in tact in the Constitution but somehow I am a second class citizen.

I don't need the voters to interpret the Constitution. We have a mechanism for that. And the Court should protect the minority that one year ago needed protection.

Many in some parts of the country still don't "wholeheartedly support" the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, or Affirmative Action programs. That doesn't make them any less the law.

----

Brian Davis This is the way the law works in California, from Justice Carlos Moreno's dissenting opinion:

"The question before us is not whether the language inserted into the California Constitution by Proposition 8 discriminates against same-sex couples and denies them equal protection of the law; we already decided in the Marriage Cases that it does."

We have a constitution, which on it's face, discriminates.

----

Nicole C. Curran CA Broke our hearts today, but gave us the strength to fight for equality. https://secure.couragecampaign.org/page/contribute/Fearless

Brian Davis It's a great spot, but what is the Courage Campaign's actual media plan? Really? A 60-second spot? I really think this is a fundraising ploy. Which is fine, but I want to know what the money is going to be used for...

Equality California, Lorri Jean, and the whole No on 8 people did this to me once already!

----

Andrew Lachman I hope to see everyone at Santa Monica & San Vicente today at 5

Eli Lipmen Lipschultz I will be there in spirit.

Brian Davis Why not in reality? Imagine if the Freedom Riders, the marchers in Selma, or those on the Capitol said, "Well, I have dinner plans" or "an important conference call." One more voice saying, "If not today, when?" and standing with their brothers and sisters will echo through history.

With the news cameras overhead, sending shots of tens of thousands instead of hundreds might get people to pay attention.

At the least, think of the quiet, gay 13 year old at home tonight in Bakersfield or San Bernadino. When he watches the news before closing his eyes, he'll know that others are marching for him.

----

Brian Davis So this is what HOPE smells like? Where is some real CHANGE I can believe in? (NOTE: This is from almost 3 hours after the announcement. In almost 3 hours, Robert Gibbs didn't hear a peep about the decision from the President?)

----

Megan Kakita Hirsch thinks it's time to move out of California...what's next, banning inter-racial marriages?

Brian Davis Imagine if we had some national leader whose parents marriage would've been denied in most states, who could stand up and speak out on this issue?

Sanctity of Marriage, My A$%!

How does evil happen?

Come Dance with Me

What Makes It A Civil Rights Issue?

Missed Metaphors

Lessons from Jury Duty

Better Red than Dead

Meet Sam & Julie Thoron

30 Years In...

The Face of the Closet

Thresher Shark

Taste in Men

Meet Juror #8

Mormons Don't Support Redefining Marriage...

Can you be too gay?

40 Year Old... What?

Brian Davis for US Congress!

Now Here's an Idea...

Kid Rock, Uncle Kracker, and Kenny Chesney

Who will oppose marriage equality in California?

Hanging on to Equality

Balls In Your Mouth

A Ripple of Hope

Where Stupidity, Religion and Politics Mix

That guy.

"I've got something to tell you."

Disappointing Leadership

I want to be a cowboy...

Brian Davis Like getting rid of the idiots that got us here in the first place... starting with our side.
----